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female
age
36-40,
*atexxfaithxx
writes:hi, i am really looking for some advice. I am 21 years old a single parent of 1 little girl aged 21 months, I have recently found out that i am 7 weeks pregnant i have only been with my partner for 3 months and i dont think the relationship is going to last.my head tells me abortion my heart tells me keep it.what would you advise?i'd have two children by two different dads by the gae of 22 years old. i work and run my own house these are the plus things.i am so confused i have an abortion booked for 3 weeks time but i dont now whether i can do it???
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female
reader, fergo2207 +, writes (11 January 2010):
hi there, i was also 7 weeks pregnant and i had an abortion just 2 days ago. i'm not in the same position as you but i do have a 16 month old girl already although i live with my partner of 7 years. i'm also 21 and i suffered post natal depression with my little girl and i basically felt like a single mother because my man was working all the time and not taking much to do with his daughter at the time so when i fell pregnant again recently i thought about abortion because my man said he definately didn't want another one at the moment. so i went through it and let me tell you it was the worst thing i have ever done in my life. you will never regret having a child no matter what the circumstances or how bad the relationship your in is. but you can regret having an abortion and its not something you can take back. you can't rewind the clock. once you have taken that pill thats it. if your toddler ends up affected by your relationship ending then there is counselling for that and as long as you give them love and support they will pull through. it makes me so angry these people telling you to give your baby away!! in the end the child will find you and it will affect them more knowing you gave them up than it would if your relationship wth your current partner ends. you do what is best for you because if you have doubts about this abortion and you go through with it, it will affet you badly which will then affect your existing child. if your heart tells you to keep the baby and deep down its what you want then stuff everyone else! i know if i could go back to last week before i took my first pill i would go back and say no thanks, i've changed my mind, i'm gonna keep it. x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): I think you need more time to think about your decision. You can only be the the one to make the right decision for you. How will having another child effect your relationship with your partner and your exisitng child. You are still very young you have plenty of time to extend you family when you feel positive and ready. If it is now then go for it but if not then don't feel guilty about aborting.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): No, I think you should have the baby adopted out. It will be really really hard on you, but i's not about you. Think about it, the baby will be able to have a great life with some parents who would die to have a baby. Come on, do the right thing. Let her live..you can find her later on if you really want to find her. And I am sure she'll be so greatful that you gave her a chance and a better life.
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female
reader, babeej  +, writes (11 February 2008):
the question you have to ask yourself is if you want to bring a child into this world knowing that the relationship isnt going to last? i was in the exact same position last week. i was what i thought 11 weeks pregnant with my boyfriend of 18 months baby. i know that it isnt forever and i also have a 5 year old. my whole life revolves around my son, which i think your life should also revolve around your kids, is it really fair to them to have you bring this child into the world? i broke up with my sons father when he was 4 and it has been so hard on him. i was 16 when i had him and he has been my whle life. i couldnt imagine him having to go through life knowing that mom had two kids with two dads that never were successful relationships. just imagine the problems they will have when they start having relationships. when i went into my appointment, i found out the baby died at 6 weeks, so they had to abort anyway, but knowing i was doing it for my sons benefit, gave me the strength to follow through. if it hurts to much, just ask to not know anything and to be put to sleep so that you wont see or hear a thing. think of it as a cancer, even though that sounds cruel, becuase the minute attachment starts to happen, its the hardest thing to let go of.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): Hello,
I understand your situation really well, im also a single mum 29 and 6.1/2 weeks pregnant. i also have another child 5yrs from a former partner and today i just got back from the Hospital where i booked a medical abortion for next week.
I too am in two minds heart vs head. I booked it even though i have a good job, quite a nice flat etc...and good support networks...why?
Because i want to try too get it right the next time round, if possible. The first time i had my son i was engaged and my partner really wanted to have my son and i did too, we didnt have much but that was enough. Sadly having kids is hard work and he just couldn't cut it so here i am left with my son.
They have a good relationship and he's now married with another child which son sees the weekend when he see them all.
this time would not be right because Ive only been with him 6 months and he really doesn't want the child. i'm not sure i can have a child with someone who really doesn't want it and who i'm not sure i even love....?
There is only three things to ask your self to make a decision
Does he want it, are you going to be alone.
Whether you can afford it?
And can you cope with two kids (And how will that affect my future chances of meeting someone new if i have got two kids with two different dads?)
There all practical questions because after all the hormones and emotions have gone and you begin life with this little person those are the things you need to think about. Because you'll love it no matter what even if it has got a different dad
Good luck what ever decision you make, remember it's your choice.
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female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (6 February 2008):
 may i add something no one had asked.
Have you spoke to your partner about this? What does he say, does he even know about the pregnancy. That's his baby too.
I am pro life, its your choice but heres my opinion. Look at your little girl and try imagine killing her, she has a life and your unborn child does too.
Adoption is an option if your partner does not want the child and you dont.
the line "i'd have two children by two different dads by the gae of 22 years old."
It sound you worried of what others would think, it's not about you its about the lives your giving to your children.
" i work and run my own house these are the plus things."
good on you hun =]
I know houses and babies are expensive and to keep up with but im sure if you and your partner scrape together and stay strong (or he pays child support) you'll get on with it.
I think you should keep this child. Its not a baby's fault you and his/her father failed to use protection. They deserve to live.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): A wise man once said: "Somtimes what the heart knows, the head forgets."Or maybe it was Mr. Miyagi in Karate Kid 2...Flynn 24
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): Although, it may seem that babies are a dime a dozen, there are couples that cannot have children and are stuck on waiting lists for years waiting for a healthy baby. I never support abortion under any conditions, but if your child is born healthy I would share the wealth and look into adoption. There are so many options with it these days. My sister had a baby at 17 that she wasn't ready for, she gave her child to a family that allows her to be an aunt-like figure, so she can keep contact and not be a stranger. I also know people who have been adopted and are perfectly happy with their lives.
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male
reader, Q +, writes (5 February 2008):
 I went threw something like that and we chose to get the abortion... I regret it to this day... Listen to these people. Goodluck...
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): I think you should let the child live and when he or she is born place the child in foster care or put the kid up for adoption. That way the kid gets a chance at life and you don't have to provide for three children on your own.
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (4 February 2008):
 I don't think that anyone else can tell you what to do. It's pretty hard to choose between the two options, your head and your heart. The most important thing that you have to consider is the fact that you have one child to raise and protect, and that child should be your priority right now. Whatever you decide, you do have options and have every right to decide what direction to take. Only you know how your mind and heart work and what choices you can live with in the future. Time is of the essence, I wish you good luck with your decision.
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male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (4 February 2008):
 yea, this is tuff. Me and my ex got pregnant too soon in our relationship and we were a little young and in no position to care for a child. So after alot of talking and soul searching we decided to abort. It's been 10 years since and we are not together anymore. We did have a child after that. Anyway, we both regreted it. It just felt really wrong afterwords even though it seemed the best thing for us. I can't explain it, but neither of us really got over it. I have since made my peace with God and I think she has too. But even if you are not religious it still leaves a black mark on you. My ex was not and it really hurt her. I would say that if you believe with a little work you can handle another child, especially since you already have doubts, you should have the child. But that is just my opinion. I hope whatever decision you make, it is an educated one. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): I could be wrong, but by reading your posting, I am getting a strong intuitive feeling that you are not the type of person who can have an abortion, hun. There is apprehension here. As a result of that, I feel you may have some post abortion trauma and upset, if you do this. Have you ever considered adoption?
But I can say, the best thing you can do is seek an unbiased mature, counselor to help you with this decision. Time is of the essence here soy ou must move quickly. You have 3 weeks to get going and and book an appt to talk to a counselor at the clinic where you plan to have your abortion and do it quickly. You need someone at the clinic who gives you a good, kind listening ear, and can offer practical, accurate advisement about abortions and the impact they can have on one's future. Some people can 'ease thru' an abortion..other's can't. So it's important that when you talk to the counselor, you teel her your truest feelings, in the most honest way.
Good luck hun and check with your clinic or family doctor about getting some counselling. Take care and I wish you the best.
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