A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi all, question to all males out ter. can u please help me !!!why would my bf of 3yrs tell me he went out for dinner with an ex of his from years back, then went back to her place for more drinks but slept on sofa while she slept in her bed. Since i left that day cause we were fighting terribly and stayed in my mums, never telling him i was staying out and wont be home which i know drives him mad. (childish i know) I would never of known he stayed out cause i was not home myself but he admitted to me when we both calmed down.He said nothing happened as ter is nothing like that between them, he loves me and went out with her cause he felt unappreciated by me and was sick of us fighting.how do i believe this man that nothing happened cause i do know at that time we were close to splitting up, do you agree that he could have slept with her and just told me out of guilty conscience, he did say if he did sleep with her, he could never look me in the eye and would then know for sure we are over, dont know wat to elieve anymore,also on another occassion he said he bumped into her and he wanted to sleep wit her and she was up for it but he couldnt go thru with it canse he loves me, then later on tells me he made it up just to make me jealous hoping i would cop on and realise how far i am pushing him away , know tis is confusing post even hope it makes some kind of sense, any advice out ter, much appreciated xxxx
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female
reader, elsie  +, writes (8 June 2007):
 i think you are both playing games with each other.at first when i read your letter forgive me but i thought it was from someone alot younger.ive had the same and worse done to me by my b/f and had 2yrs of crap.him and his ex have a son.everytime we rowed or he didnt like someting id done,trivial stuff,hed run round there and use his son as an excuse.it used to kill me and i finally plucked up the courage to say no more.he doesnt even go in there now and takes his son to ours like he should have been doing along time ago.ps.shes told lies to me over the phone and said he wasnt there when i knew he was so i had to put a stop to it.alot of men need to run to other women like some sort of mother figure or out of pure childishness.dont waste as mcuh time as i did.tell him what the boundaries are and follow your heart.good luck.
A
female
reader, O Connor +, writes (6 June 2007):
 Oh my god the fact that he told you he was even thinking of cheating on you makes me sick,you need to drop him and move on you dont deserve this at all.he should know that wat he has done is so over the line,seriously hun u really need to stop letting him treat you like this
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (6 June 2007):
 Honey, you've got a problem man on your hands! There should never be an excuse for any man who says he loves you, to run back to his ex for anything, not even to get sympathy, sleep on the couch or whine to her about the problems you guys are having (a big no-no in my books)! It's only a matter of time before he cross the line -- if he hasn't already and just hasn't told you the truth! This man spells trouble and he will always pull this crap on you everytime there's problems. Don't walk, but run to the nearest exit and don't look back. Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (6 June 2007):
 You need to dump him and move on. Him sleeping over any ex's house should be out of the question. I don't care if they're friends or not. That's out of line, and I would dump them immediately. I don't care if it was on the couch or not.
DV1
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A
female
reader, nat4444 +, writes (6 June 2007):
hi there, you have to sit down with your boyfriend and talk about this, also look into his eyes as he answers you-do his pupils get bigger? can he actually look you in the eyes?
but then do you trust him? a good relationship should have trust between both partners.
talk to him and be calm, listen to what he has to say
good luck
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A
female
reader, spirited +, writes (6 June 2007):
he has a lot of trust to earn... do you want to go through w/ that?? and a man who even FATHOMS the thought of cheating on you isn't worth a cent.
move on honey, you're better off.
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A
female
reader, goodlistener +, writes (6 June 2007):
Sometimes people can be just good friends. But when you have been in a relationship with someone it's a bit different. I hope for your sake she is just a friend, but is he the type to go to someone else for comfort? It really does depend on the circumstances...are they close? ect.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, xSarax +, writes (6 June 2007):
 i think you both should sit down and be honest with each other. sorry but the pair of you are being childish by making each other jelous. i think it is bang out of order that he stayed at her house, because if you did it then how mad would he be? what if you have another argument and he goes back to her. and i think that you should have it out with her aswell and ask her what shes playing at letting him stay. ask me this question. do you trust him? whats the point in being with someone you cant trust. you'll end up driving yourself mad with paranoia.
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