A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Iv been with my boyfriend for a about a year now, but the last few monts have been very tough as weve had a few break ups, then got back together! He has a 3 year old child whom he see twice a week as his ex is a bit of a handful. Just before new year she told me that they had been sleeping with each other ect... i trust my boyfriend as his ex is still in love with him and has never accepted me, but now with all the problems weve had our spark is gone! and i need advice to get it back, as when we 1st got together we were a perfect couple(in my eyes. Weve both admited that the sparks gone so its a good start but were to now?
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got back together, his ex, spark Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Snowe  +, writes (23 February 2011):
You are the third wheel in the boyfriend and his baby mama's relationship. Go get something better for yourself.
A
female
reader, TeaLady +, writes (23 February 2011):
 Sparks always die out. They give way to either cold nothingness or a large roaring deep fire of depth. Are you good friends and have love and respect for each other? Is it just superficial? Don't try to make sparks happen, just do what you want to do and don't force it. Sometimes you have to give a fire room to breathe.
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A
male
reader, Leodjoneluv +, writes (23 February 2011):
 Walk away and don't pick up some one else's baggage. Being a man my self, I promise you that he is sleeping with his ex. Don't get involved in nonsense
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A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 "Iv been with my boyfriend for a about a year now, but the last few monts have been very tough as weve had a few break ups" How many more than 1 break up have you two had? "his ex is a bit of a handful" How big are your hands? Big enough or not that big? "she told me that they had been sleeping with each other ect" What's are the specifics of the "etc"? Is possessive/territorial part of the "handful"? "his ex is still in love with him and has never accepted me" I think as long as she is in love with him she won't "accept" you and long after she is not in love with him she may still not "accept" you. "all the problems weve had our spark is gone!" I'm just one man but my spark used to 'come and go' and it wasn't until I experienced 'the real thing' that the spark remained permanently on and turned into a raging inferno. "Weve both admited that the sparks gone so its a good start but were to now?" I think this is a great start! Again, being just 1 man I would suggest going away for a weekend and having a heart to heart just before leaving. Maybe writing him a letter and giving it to him before you two leave for the weekend would help to get things out of your system and clear the way for "sparks". Maybe instead of saying the ex is a "handful" say specifically what she does that bothers you. Sometimes stepping out of your 'comfort zone' as far as when and where you have sex turns a lot of things around.
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