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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: ok so my boyfriend always wants me to swallow after giving him oral sex. he says its sexy and it feels better for him. so i dont have a problem with doing this, but just last night, right when he was about to cum, he PUSHED my head down and held me there by my hair while he finished! i was so surprised that i kind of yelled and he pushed my head down harder. when he finally let go i pushed away from him and caught my breath. he jus smiled and giggled at me and said "baby, fix ur hair, its all in ur face" and started to crackk uppppp! he thought it was hilarious. the thing is, i dont have a problem with swallowing on my own.so a few questions lie here, guys, would u ever do this to ur girl? is that like.. sexy or something... to hold her head down? did i overreact to it when he did this and make myself look like a total spaz? should i just become used to this behavior? do u think it was just a one time thing? a joke maybe?thanks in advance!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2011): This is not a good sign. His behavior is narly and not a place I would want my lover to derive his pleasure from. Sounds like he wants you to get your 'kicks' the same way oblivious to the fact that you do not.
My man is a big guy with large hands and he would never do that! I'd be pissed if he did. We'd be done...
He always take care to handle me well and not like I'm a plastic head with a damn wet hole in it! As someone else commented this dude is taking his cues from much of the 'porn' out there!
I like my man to stroke my head, shoulders, neck etc. and passionately (but not roughly) pull me into him. Even his thrusting is ok as it is not at the 'porno' face-f*cking level! I would not accept a man FORCING my head down like that.
Likewise, I stroke his hair and pull him into me when he is giving me oral pleasure.
The fact that he 'laughed' about it is especially troubling. Drop him or look forward to more disrespect.
A
male
reader, ricco  +, writes (21 October 2009):
 Hi well I think he's a stupid fuck,And no its not sexy not the way he did it.
But I guys its because I tend to be more of gentle man.but if he continues to do stuff like that dump his ass.
Much respect Ricco.
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female
reader, Anonymous2009 +, writes (16 October 2009):
 I agree with the first post. You deserve respect!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009): bbe you really shouldnt need to deal with thisbreak up with himyou deserve betterxx
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male
reader, Djmclucas113 +, writes (14 October 2009):
 ok well he should be more then satisfied that your actually swallowing it. i could never ask a girl to do more then that. Now as far as him pulling ur head down it is kind of a turn on for the guy to be in control but from the sounds of what he did is unacceptable. he should have approval from you and he shouldnt have laughed at u either. he should be telling how much he loves you after a moment like that. he was really disrespectful i would talk to him about it and let him know that he shouldn't be forcing you to do anything
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): Usually there is nothing wrong with a guy holding your head as long as he has your consent and as long as he holds your head gently , as that shows that he is enjoying it and that you are too if you have given consent.However, if he holds your head forcefully and does it without your consent like your boyfriend did, that is wrong and you should dump him right away !. He is showing no respect for you at all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): my guy does that with me. i think its ok as i do the same when im about to cum. but everyone has thier own preference and if you dont like it then tell him straight.
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male
reader, jfin +, writes (13 October 2009):
i dont think its nessessary to hold her head down u can get the same feeling without hurting or forceing you expecially if ur willing. i think its wrong. and u didnt over react. he cracked up cuz he knew he did somthing wrong and wanted to make it less of a problem id say
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): My ex tried this exact thing to me too...in my opinion it is gross and I told him I would not do it so he held my head down. The next day we broke it off because 1 thing he didnt respect my wishes (wasnt the only thing he didnt respect) but one thing starts another!
Id say have a big talk with him or loose him!
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female
reader, DESTINY 23 +, writes (13 October 2009):
 He has no respect for you and you he thinks hes in a porno
make some meat balls put some shit in it or dog shit that works to and pasta .Feed it to him and smile and giggle the whole time .
P.S. make him do the dishes to !!!
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female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (13 October 2009):
 It's actually sexual assualt being as he was forcing you to do something you hadn't discussed and consented to. Ask him if you would like it if you bit his dick really hard and then laughed at him while he sobbed about it....my guess is he'll get angry if you so much as bring it up. He has no respect for you.
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female
reader, Jayney Y +, writes (13 October 2009):
If it upset you and made you feel humiliated it - it was wrong
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): What he did was seriously wrong, not funny, and definitely not sexy. Apart from slapping you (or farting) aggressively manhandling your head is the nastiest thing a guy can do during oral.
You need to explain that you didn't appreciate it one bit, and don't expect it to happen again. It does sound like he's picked this up from watching the less pleasant sort of porn, where scenes like the one you described are disconcertingly frequent.
Though I'm sure you enjoy giving head, the point is YOU'RE doing HIM a favour, and he needs to be a bit nicer and more thoughtful next time.
You're not over-reacting, and you DON'T need to just shut up and get used to it. At the same time, it doesn't make your guy a bad person. Talk to him and let him know you feel he over-stepped the mark. If he gets stroppy about it, I'd see that as a major red light.
good luck!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): Not cool at all! I agree with NumberSix's assessment and I know your boyfriend wasn't thinking about you, his girlfriend when he did that, he was using you for his pleasure and treated you like some kind of object. Does he do this in other areas of your relationship as well?
Gagging someone and holding them against their will is wrong, wrong, wrong! You should definately have a talk with him in regards to this.
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female
reader, asian tealeaf  +, writes (13 October 2009):
 i agree. i think ur guy did something no man should ever do without discussing this beforehand. too bad, guys watch porn which objectify women rather then teach men what sex is all about. love and emotional connection between two consenting adults. porn has driven away what sex is. nowadays men dont even know what making love is, they only know what fucking is. you should at the very least tell ur bf u dont ever want him to do that unless you ask him to. they say porns meant to be as a sexual aid between partners, something that can be used to help as an aid, or a kind of therapy, etc. porn depicts violent aqnd malicious acts inflicted upon women. if u surf the web you can find soo much and sadly, you ask, geez, this turns men on? i hoope you will discuss with ur bf your problems. just dont freak out on him. be calm, and make sure your direct and clear.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): I agree with the first post. He is treating you like some girl from a porn film. It is HUGELY disrespectful! He should be concerned with your pleasure and enjoyment just as much as his.
P.S. Please use protection!
Love xox
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male
reader, NumberSix  +, writes (13 October 2009):
Hmm, I don't know what anyone else thinks but I don't like the sound of this at all. It sounds like he has been watching too much porn and thinks that it's cool to treat women like objects. I just don't think this is right, it is hurting you, physically forcing you to do something, and most of all, it is VERY disrespectful.
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