A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When talking to these two guys the whole night at a pub, who were 22 and 23. Near the end when i said my age i first received a nice comment from one guy and then straight after, his friend hit back with a comment that made me think is he right? I am an eighteen year old who talks properly (no common nor slang language) am well educated, independent, very confident, have self-worth and i am ambitious.After telling my age, the first guy said 'You're joking! You can not be eighteen surely, the way you talk and how you carry yourself i honestly thought you were older!'Then his friend said 'You're ahead of your years, guys who are your age wouldn't have a chance. So you make us guys think you're our age or near, and then annoy us by telling us you're just eighteen! It's not a good thing in my opinion, you're only young, you should be a teenager while you can'.Then his friend replied 'Ignore him! You don't want to be like those teenagers your age, it's rare to find someone like you. Most guys would find it very attractive and sexy for a girl to have your qualities'.Although that was nice of him to say, i didn't care. I was left confused and really insulted that his friend made out that i build guys up, letting them think I'm older just because how i talk. Or because I'm educated and due to how i carry myself!? And then crush them without caring. I don't intentionally do that at all!? I just decided one day i wanted to better myself, to the best i can, regardless of my age and I did. I still act like a teenager of course and do all the teenage things. But is it really a bad thing that i'm like this, while i'm so young? Should i try change my ways or was his friend right, that guys find it attractive? I don't know what to think of what was said.
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female
reader, Quirkay +, writes (22 April 2011):
Well, all I can say is that the nice guy is right, the other guy take with a pinch of salt. You will attract a better quality of man with how you are now, and that, surely, is a good thing. Good luck - I think you are going to be just fine!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): Guys will do that as a pick up manuever so you'll be eager to defend yourself and prove to them you are not stuck up, reserved, prude, too proper or whatever it is they accuse you of and then go home with them. He was counting on your willingness to please and ultimately prove to them you weren't leading them on. It's good you didn't fall for that.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 That naysayer was intimidated by you, so he wanted to put you down in order to feel better about himself. Women like you are put people like this off: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/experiences-in-dating-foreign-women.html But really, you don't want to date douche bags like that anyway, so there's really no harm in it. You've got a good head on your shoulders, trust it and trust your decisions. If someone doesn't like you for the way you are, then so what? There will be plenty of men who will be head over heels for you.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (22 April 2011):
I guess the fact it irked you proves you are indeed young ;-) As time progresses you will realize you're fine just the way you are and you will laugh at what that idiot said to you. Just try to remember always to hold on to your true self, not to the image you want to project. If this is who you are and feel comfortable with, don't be swayed by anyone telling you otherwise. If your change to being articulate is something you forced yourself to do, he may have caught on and thought it was fake. I'm just taking a stab in the dark here, so please don't be offended. Lastly, why wouldn't you care about what the nice guy said to you? Why only focus on the negative?
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A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (22 April 2011):
 I'll be honest. It will put some guys off BUT they are the wrong type of guys anyway and they certainly not would be able to last in a relationship with you. So, in that regard its not a problem. I think there is nothing wrong with how you are; in fact its refreshing I think to see and alot of guys will find it appealing. Self confidence for example, is sexy to self confident people (well them and those who will feed off of it but you can soon suss them out). Articulation is good because it shows your intelligent and can carry a conversation. In other words, dont worry about it, be who you want to be and you will be lit up like a Christmas tree to the right type of people for you. Good luck and take care.
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