A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:so i am recently seperated from my husband. there is this guy at work and we have been flirting a lot for like the past 3mos. the 2 of us have proven to each other that we are sexually attracted to each other. the other night he invited me out for coffee and we wound up sleeping together. he felt really guilty afterwards because he has a girlfriend, and said this could never happen again. so the past couple of days we have gone on almost like usual pretending nothing happened. the only problem is i am still really attracted to this guy and want to hook up again, maybe even on a more usual basis. im not saying i want to start a realtionship with him. because i know of the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" and also i am just seperated from my husband. so my question is how do i convince him to continue on with what we started? im not even asking that he leave his girlfriend. im just looking for fun, but for some reason i don't want to have fun with anyone else but him.
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affair, at work, flirt, has a girlfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): "The OP is selfish. The OP is cruel. The OP needs professional help."Seriously, don't read a paragraph of somebody's life and assume you know they are cruel or selfish unless that paragraph goes something like "I once tortured a man with nails and an electric screwdriver and then left him there to bleed to death because I knew I was on his life insurance."If you'd bothered to read past the first paragraph of my post, you'd see I didn't advocate her being with this particular fellow. So all your bits about the girlfriend and stooping so low are irrelevent. That wasn't what I was saying, and if you read farther you would've known that.Anybody who just got out of a serious relationship wants to just be lighthearted for a little while. Obviously a taken man is more attractive because it's pretty well guaranteed no strings attached. But I don't advocate that, as I've previously said, and I think she needs to find somebody else. But I also don't think there's anything wrong with have some between-serious-relationship fun.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): You should stop seeing this guy. He has a girlfriend, and you already have a lot on your plate. I am not casting stones, but I will say ending the relationship is the right thing to do for many reasons. You have it in you to do what is right.
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A
female
reader, curious26 +, writes (4 January 2010):
Move on!! Your so wrong for getting with this guy in the first place. He has a girlfriend!!! What are you thinking? I been the girlfriend in this situation and she will find out believe me and to think of the pain she will go through? You want to do that to someone??? And if she is anything like me believe that she will knock your ass out!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 January 2010):
This is a really good way to get hurt and end up looking bad in front of everyone. Surely you realize he is using you? Please move on and start afresh with your life. Focus on yourself for a while. Because if you do continue with this, in ten years time you're going to look back and wonder where your life has gone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): The woman just wants to have some no-strings fun, she just got out of something very serious and probably painful. I don't think it's any indication that she could never be able to have an emotional relationship with somebody.
Having said that, love, I don't think it would be right for you to continue a relationship with this particular man, simply because he does have a girlfriend and he has already said he doesn't want to continue cheating on her. Just imagine if you were her, how would you feel about some woman trying to lay your man?
There are plenty of men in the world willing to have a fun no-strings time, and I'm sure you can find at least one of them in a much less messy situation. But don't forget to wrap it up!
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A
female
reader, Miss Karma Louise +, writes (4 January 2010):
ok
its not a case of wanting to have an affiar my love,youve already done the deed!!!
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