A
female
age
36-40,
audie
writes:why wait? thats what everyone is asking. in this world virgins have become an endangered species and are fast becoming extinct. waiting for marriage is now outdated. i wonder why. in the begining sex was a celebration of love between two people who trully loved each other and wanted to be together now its been turned into a sick past time. i'm not saying sex is bad dont get me wrong- i'm sure if its done properly its an amazing act. i've made a choice to wait till i get married. dorky- go ahead say it i know thats what you're thinking. but look at it this way i'm saving myself a lot of drama. fun and exciting as it may be i wana take you to explore the down side of premarital sex. in these times of AIDS and whole lot of other scary STIs i think abstinence is best. getting these diseases will only complicate your life. pregnancy is another thing. you can opt to abort but will you really be able to live with your conscience? what if that was the only chance you had of having one and you blew it. imagine all the heartache dodging. when you have sex with someone they leave with a part of you (virgin or not) that you cant get back. once you've done that break ups are a lot harder. when your partner loses intrest its more difficult to move on coz you've invested so much. thats just my take on it. but please think about it.
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female
reader, Katy.  +, writes (31 May 2009):
 I completley respect your opinion and your attitude towards this, I find it absolutley idiotic when people find their virginity as some kind of baggage and something to get pride they have to lose. Okay, so i admit, i'm only 15 and I've had sex, but it wasn't something I just went out and did one night with a boyfriend of 3weeks who told me he'd leave me if I didn't. I was with my boyfriend or around-a-bout the same age (who I'm still currently with) of over 8months. It was a matter of it being the right time, the right place and in the right moment and I don't regret one minute of it or who it was with.
Yet this matter is one case of about a thousand. If that. It really frustrates me when people at my school go on about the latest person they've "shagged" and the long list that goes on with it. Times have changed, most probably for the worst and I wish we were still in a time when sex before marriage was frowned upon. Afterall it would lower the stats of unwanted pregnancies, STI's and all the other crap with it.
I believe sex is purley about love and nothing else, if you're with a person and both of you are in a deep committed relationship then there's nothing wrong with it, it's just satisfying each others needs in a passionate and emotional way. (at a reasonable age of course). And I think that people just do it for all the wrong reasons need a wack on the head (:
Katy x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): There are pros and cons to having sex before or after marriage. The thing that allowed me to make my decision is not listen to what people deem as right or wrong in society, but I weighed the benefits for myself and the person who I know I am to chose that I am not going to wait before marriage to find out about sex. Sex is in fact an important part and I believed it is something that I would do with someone special to me, but not wait for as a high commitment as marriage "just to have sex".
I dont believe that fear is a reason for me to not do something. In this time of as you said "aids" and "std" I believe it is easy to have your partner tested. Pregnancy is an issue but there are MANY types of protection for it and well I haven't gotten a girl pregnant so i think it's worked out pretty well for me. Yeah I know it's "only" 99% safe but hmm, 1% isnt enough a reason to live in fear. I'd happily be responsible and take care of the kid should it happen in any case. Most likely I assume my personality attracts the type of woman that would not consider abortion as the first option.
And yes there is heartache. But not having sex will not make a break up easier, point being it is the heart that feels the pain, not my dick or your pussy. My proof of that is in my recent break up I never had sex and I was prolly more devasted than the girls I actually had sex with. Sex pretty much has nothing to do with it. When people break up as you can read from the many questions here, in all i've read, no guy has said "I still want sex with her". My idea is that even if there is no sex, there will be something to make up for that, maybe a closer mental connection to the person or even too close a connection.
Obviously as you or anyone can tell, my views are different about it. The only thing I would disagree with you is referring to virgins as a species. I think its an individual's choice that they should make for themselves. I think saying its a species groups it as such, then I don't see how it is much different from those that chose to have sex before marriage. It'll be like saying "because everyone is doing it". And in your case "everyone is not doing it".
I will also say that sex was never a celebration but always a taboo if spoken of. In all you are worried about what other people think whereas, I am not. Many of my friends are virgins and some intend to keep it that way until they are married. They are quite proud of that fact, and they know very well the downsides of what they are doing.
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A
female
reader, Confused_123 +, writes (29 May 2009):
Don't get me wrong, I also beleive in waiting for someone you truly love and not doing it before it's legal or you're ready. However, I don't beleive in no sex before marriage, what if you don't connect sexually? You'll have married someone who may find they're not as sexually attracted to you (or you to them) as originally thought. This might sound shallow or whatever but...most people wouldn't buy a car before test driving it. By that, I'm not saying you might chose not to marry someone you're on love with, because they're bad in bed but still, don't you want to explore all areas of a persons personality before making a commitment to them for life? I know this isn't necessarily true but they could be an entirely different person in the bedroom. Personally, I plan to wait until at least 17 or 18 and I plan for it to be with someone I know and love very much. Each to their own though.
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