A
female
age
36-40,
*vaTheDiva
writes: So in a nutshell, I have large boobs. I am 25, probably D cup size, and only 5'1" and 130 lbs; I don't know my cup size for sure because it's been so long since I got measured. And the reason it's been so long is because going to Victoria's Secret makes me feel abnormal and reminds me of this problem. But trust me - my boobs are noticeably larger than average.I've always been uncomfortable with my chest, because I'm basically a shy person who doesn't like sexual attention from guys who aren't my boyfriend. When guys (or sometimes even girlfriends) tease me or make comments about my chest, I feel... sensitive. I guess you can say it's a bit of a sore spot. It's not as big of an issue when it's my close girlfriends or my boyfriend, b/c I trust them and I feel safe with them. But with other people, I just find the attention slightly predatory and demeaning - as if I'm a piece of meat on display. And I'm so jealous of girls with boobs just the right size, b/c they seem womanly/feminine without the oversexed connotation... if that makes sense haha.I guess my question is... how should I deal with this? Is my reaction normal or is there unresolved feelings that stem from childhood teasing (I developed early)? How should I react when I get sleazy comments? I'm open to the possibility that I may be overly sensitive. I'd just like to get some perspective b/c it really isn't a topic I can discuss with anyone. People I've talked to usually just tell me to "be happy" I have this "problem."It really bugs me and I want to lose weight partly b/c I think it'll reduce their size. I'm thinking if I lose 20 lbs, to around 110 lbs, I may be able to get to C cup - which would be great. I also think I just need to be comfortable in my own skin and develop my "inner toughness."Thanks for reading and for any feedback :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): What large breasted women and balding men have in common is despite having obvious features people still compelled to point it out every chance they get. This is rude in the extreme.
You have a few options to deal with your problem.
1. Reduce your breast size. This can be accomplished with surgery or weight loss. Surgery costs money. Health insurers won't cover it for cosmetic reasons, but some may for medical/psychological reasons (such as ongoing backache for example). As another aunt has pointed out losing weight MIGHT work. There are no guarantees. You might lose quite a bit, only a little or nothing at all. I lost quite a bit in my chest after losing about 30 pounds. It doesn't hurt to be in good shape anyway, so give it a try.
2. Draw attention away from your chest. You'd be amazed at the difference the right clothes and proper posture can make. You're going to have to bite the bullet and get yourself measured for a bra. An ill fitting one can make you look even larger, sloppy and offers little support. You can do this in the privacy of your own home. Find a website that provides the formula, and double check those findings with other websites.
3. Develop strategies to deal with rude comments from others. If people aren't shy about being rude, then don't you be shy about calling them on it. Just don't make a huge scene as that will only draw more attention to your chest. And comments from your boyfriend or others close to you really isn't alright either. In fact, they're the last people who you should expect to make these rude observations.
Hopefully this will help.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2011): I know how you feel my love. I'm 135 lb and a J cup. WAY out of proportion. Losing weight will not help (Been there, done that), the real problem isn't your chest size its your attitude. You're young, have a great figure and good friends, stand up straight and smile, be confident and if anyone says anything then say something back. Be confident and people won't notice your cup size. They'll just see a young, confident, happy woman. X
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar +, writes (30 July 2011):
First off, its normal you are insecure. I think what you need is respect from people and then youll start to feel confident. Dont go to bars, clubs, or anywhere else that puts you at risk of sleaziness as that will hurt your confidence. Men who stare are pigs and esp when theyre nackered lol. Women who say any comment about "be happy with what you got".. theyre jealous. Exploit it once you get comfortable with your figure, i e wear something sexier next time u go out with your ladies. My arms are big, but ive never measured because men at the gym talk about them a lot. They say I do steroids and all this stuff and make me feel insecure about them... well, I give shit right back. Ill do my bi's and tri's on days when I know those assholes frequent the gym cause I know deep doen theyre jealous... and in the gym im comfortable showing them off now, but its work and other places i tend to hide them with long sleeve shirts. I'll ease into showing them at work by encouraging people to workout and exercise and then once they get motivated to do that, I'll amplify theyre motivation by showing off my upper body a bit so they can see that hard work (and some rather large anger management) pays off. I know my situation may not be entirely similar but I do hope it helps in some way.
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A
female
reader, JustAGirl.x +, writes (30 July 2011):
the girls who make fun of you are just jealous, i mean your body sounds perfect! just over 9 stone and a cup D, i would love that! there is nothing wrong with that at all, i think it would look perfectly in proportion.
i think if people are always putting you down because of your boob size and its really starting to depress you, then you have no other option other than dropping a load of weight ( which may result in your boobs being all loose and saggy, not a good look! ) or getting surgery to reduce their size!
i would be very happy if i was you though! and i would know that all the people who gave me crap were nothing but jealous!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): I think the only solution is breast reduction surgery. I understand how you feel even though I don't have that problem but I am also a shy person and I can imagine how I would feel in your situation. Also I know what it's like having a problem other people don't understand and tell you you should be happy about it, because I look 10 years younger than my real age and people treat me like a teenager, with no respect.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 July 2011):
forget VS and go to a good shop that specializes in ladies undergarments (often they sell specialty bras for women who have had cancer and mastectomies)
get measured and fitted properly for a good MINIMIZER bra.
will make a huge difference in many ways
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): I am like you I have big boobs a GG cup infact but have learnt to love my boobs thanks to my my BF. I just thought so what i have big boobs and they look good. People can look but in no way can they touch if you dont like it then get a smart mouth like i did and make them feel little. But girls say thing as they would like them so wouldnt get offended to be honest, lol x
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (30 July 2011):
Oh do I sympathize with you on this one! I am in your position exactly. I'm only 5 feet tall, petite, and yet my breasts are much too large for my body, and draw unwanted attention..which I have always hated. I actually had a friend tell me one time that she was talking about me to a guy I had went to school with and he said "Oh, the little chick with the big boobs? Oh yeah..I certainly remember her!" Yuk..how horrible...
Hold your head high, sweetie. And do not EVER let anyone make fun of you, or point out your breasts. If someone makes a comment, you can handle it by saying "Excuse me, you are making me extremely uncomfortable, please be respectful." Nothing else needs to be said. Its amazing how immature and thoughtless people can be. But never let that person get away with it. Hopefully it will embarrass them and they'll immediately shut up. I grew up wanting to be flat chested....and yet flat chested girls wanted to be like me...you can never win, can you?? SIGH....
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A
male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (30 July 2011):
Considering thst many women have to go through expensive, painful and potentially dangerous surgery to achieve what nature's simply bestowed upon you, I'm afraid that few of the aunties here will fall over themselves to offer consolation. I assure you that the one person who DOESN'T want you to change anything in that department is your boyfriend, so please don't alter this gift by starving yourself because you might throw the baby out with the bathwater. The wise 'Moo's Mum' has got it perfectly right-enjoy and celebrate something which raises you above the ordinary, and my advice is to invent a few sarcastic phrases you can use to counter unwanted attention.
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A
female
reader, ayeshaH +, writes (30 July 2011):
oh and i forgot to meantion, the way you dress also can also make a difference to how your boobs look.
i find if i wear baggy clothing it can make my boobs look worse.
so i tend to go for slightly fitted clothing. and i avoid high necklines. i mean i dont mean you have to wear super lowcut tops. but things like polo necks make big boobs look even bigger.
i find vnecks are the best for flattering my boobs. rounded necklines can be ok sometimes but you have to be careful because sometimes they can look unflattering.
go shopping and try stuff on and start looking out for clothes style that minimise and flatter your boobs.
xx.
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A
female
reader, ayeshaH +, writes (30 July 2011):
hi there.
im 21 years old. im about 5 fooot 3 inches, i weight 108 pounds and i have 30ff boobs.
i also developed early. to be honest with you i spent my teenage years hating my boobs. i used to cry and get really jealous of girls with small boobs because i felt like my body was ugly because of them.
however, now i have grown up i have to admit i loove my boobs. i feel like its what defines my body.
my advice to you is to measured at places other than victorieas secrets and invest in some good bras that are supportive. i dont mean you have to buy those ugly giant bras. but just wearing the correct bra size is enough to make your boobs look great!
dont feel like you have to lose weight just because of your boobs. honestly be proud of your boobs! i am.
and just take the sexy comments as a compliment lol. its flattering. they think you are hot! take it with a pinch of salt. many girls get sleazy comments. big boobs or not.
seriuosly don't waste time hating your body. you are blessed with something a lot of girls pay to get.
i mean there are ladies out there who have genuinely massive breasts and suffer from problems such as backache etc. so you should be grateful you don't have to worry about anything like this.
hope you feel better about yourself :)
xx.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): Don't worry girl!! You are a lucky one to have got big breasts. It is such a turn on for your partner. Take it as a positive point. Mostly, girls feel proud to have big breast and they try to show as much as possible. Other girls will feel jealous of you!!! :D
Forty percent women have fake silicon boobs just for show off. You are far better than them. You just need to think positive and carry them off well!!! I hope this is helpful. Please write back if still think otherwise.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (30 July 2011):
Some girls would love to have big boobs so we are never happy with what we've got. You are right you need to develop inner toughness. Stick out those beautiful breasts and hold your head up high. God made you so beautiful and you should be proud. Don't pay any attention to comments that upset you and when you get compliments smile and say thanks. They are just affirming your beauty.
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