A
female
age
30-35,
*urios28
writes:I have been dating my Bf for 6months now and we have been through almost everything in our relationship. Except this. We got drunk one night out on the town and he got picked up, so I took a cab to his family's place which we were staying at during our visit. Before I entered the house his brother was outside drinking, so I joined in drinking and told him what happened to his brother. Then we went out to the bar to look for my bf's and his brother's mom she wasn't there. By then I was wasted by drinking with my Bf and then his brother...I woke up the next day in my Bf's neices room. THEN i was accused of sleeping with the younger brother I took off to my family's I used to live in this city and province. Now my man is just about to come out after being locked up for a week and I don't know how to tell him that after he got picked up I got drunk more and had sex with his younger brother. I am wondering why I did such a horrible thing??My history with men hasn't been so great, maybe because of my childhood. But I wanted to change for this man but I still ended up screwing it up anyways and going to back to being a girl who makes impulsive poorly thought out decisions. I don't want that! I don't want to be used and the only person who didn't use me or abuse me is HIM and now I have hurt him in the worst way possible....and the twist...he told his sister he is going to ask for my hand in marriage HELP!!!! I am desperate and I don't know what to do or how to fix it but I know when he gets out I will tell him face to face not on the phone. He at least deserves that. He deserves better than me but I love him and I don't want to hurt him like that ever!!! and I didn't do it on purpose... I could go on and on but I just need answers
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): Wait, who exactly accused you of sleeping with the brother? If you were too drunk to remember exactly what happened, how can you be sure you did? Another person could take advantage of the fact you were wasted to tell you you did anything with anyone, and you'd feel you had no choice but to believe them! If you yourself can't be 100% certain you had consensual sex with this guy, then you can't say you did. I think you should tell your boyfriend only the parts of the night that you can recall and let him make what he will of what you're being charged with.
I do believe that you were genuinely trying to change for the better for your boyfriend, but real change takes time and a lot of effort and reverting to old patterns of behaviour happen to even the strongest of people. The complicating element in this situation though is the fact that the men involved are brothers, and it's always inadvisable to come between family members in such a way. However, what's happened has happened and all you can do now is be honest. If your relationship survives, I'm sure this incident will have been the final wake-up call for you, and give you added resolve to become the less impulsive, thinking person I'm sure you can be :) Good luck and take care x
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