A
male
age
41-50,
*armaguy
writes:I have this question about dating in general:I have heard from my guy friends and even read this on a girl's profile on a online dating site, that Girls are attracted to guys who are mysterious and who are mentally challenging.Otherwise if you are a nice guy and too predictable, then even if they marry you, the life becomes boring for those girls and they generally leave/divorce the guy. Sometimes I have heard stories that the girls have divorced the guy for no reason after 10 yrs because he was too nice and too easy to predict.I would like some girls to answer, is this true, do you like guys who are a puzzle and why ?
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male
reader, karmaguy +, writes (6 November 2011):
karmaguy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe last anonymous answer ( by a female), I liked it. She herself was confusing. She likes it in moderation, but finally says that if you want a girlfriend, don't change yourself.
Age group: Since I am 36, I look for girls 29+. I have always dated seriously to have a relationship, which can work out into a marriage -- I want to be very sure that i am marrying the right person.
I have also realized that at this age changing myself is going to be very tough, specially traits like being a challenge vs being honest and straight-forward.
BTW i liked all the answers, some girls really listed nice qualities they would like in a guy. I liked the answer by "chi girl" who said Men aren't there to entertain the women.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2011): You'd probably get more specific results if you asked for an age group as well. My short answer is yes, in moderation. I love mystery and as one of the other answers put it, I'm an "adrenaline junkie" in relationships. I hate predictability, guys who are too nice, and I only enjoy romance in moderation. However. If you're looking for a girlfriend, don't change yourself. The right girl will like you for YOU, not for a facade.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2011): I've had my share of bad boys, and yes as mentally challenging (or stimulating) as they might be and as misterious and unpredictable and interesting at the end of the day what you want is some peace and someone who'll be there for you. I've just finished a relationship with a guy who was incredibly smart and unpredictable. He was definitely a challenge and it was exhausting. I spent so much time trying to figure him out and he was always so unpredictable... he hurted me bad. I guess you can be attracted to bad boys but at the end what you really want is a nice guy who treats you right.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2011): No way. Mysterious mentally challenging men are often condescending assholes who think they are some bad-ass. Below the surface they actually have a lot of emotional issues and detest women, but realize a woman is the only way to get laid, so they "put up" with a woman long enough to wring her soul out.I'd rather be with a cheerful guy who is honest about himself and not overly concerned about what everyone else thinks of him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 October 2011):
 Oh gods no!
If you have to be mentally challenged EVERY day of the relationship, it doesn't equate excitement or everlasting love... to me it is a little too much. It would be be absolutely draining.
I'm not big in the "bad boys" get all the good girls, they don't. They might get one, for a short period of time, but most good girls are smart enough to realize that in the long run a "bad boy" isn't worth the trouble.
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A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (30 October 2011):
 No, I like a guy who is honest with his words and actions.
I don't want someone trying to mentally challenge me every single day. I want someone who is on the same page as me, someone on my wavelength.
I want a nice guy who knows how to be a man and has confidence enough to carry himself through situations.
I want someone who has a creative mind, like me, and understands my thoughts.
My boyfriend is exactly all of the above.
Puzzles are for children.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 October 2011):
 Far from a girl right now but I have to say that I did leave a marriage recently and one of the things that was the problem was that the husband while a very nice guy (when he was not having temper tantrums and breaking things (i.e not predictable behavior) was not a mental stimulation... NOT a challenge... but stimulating...
The man I let the marriage go for is mentally stimulating... he is bright and can carry on a conversation about something other than sports... NOT a challenge in terms of how he feels about me..... no in that case he's an open book...
I realized that as nice as a guy is... as great a provider as he can be... as fabulous as a lover he is... all of that is trumped for me by a man who can have a decent debate on the merits of WOW vs CoH or something like that...
so maybe challenge is not the right word...
don't make me work on figuring out the relationship or what you are thinking... come at me with a game and make my brain work that way...
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 October 2011):
 Well... people ARE different. Maybe some girls like this, and others like that. It depends really. It also depends on you, do YOU want a girl who is attracted to mystery and unpredictability? Wouldn't that say more about what sort of woman she is, than it says about the man?
I guess some women do want it. Then again others don't, it's a matter of taste I guess. I certainly haven't noticed any big trends when it comes to this area, as far as I know women look mainly for general features such as good health, enjoyable company, ability to make her happy, sort of thing. There are probably women who are adrenaline junkies (and there are men of that sort too) who need a high paced life with lots of spontaneous action. And then there are men and women who enjoy peaceful life hanging around not doing much.
In the case of women who get bored in relationships... well I think I will pass the blame on themselves to be honest. Husbands or boyfriends aren't there to entertain the woman, after all. If the woman was bored then it was because she didn't have the imagination to go and do something. And if she divorced out of nowhere it was because she lacked communication skills.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2011): im not sure about women but as a guy i have always found myself attracted to women who are not so much mysterious but women who have issues or are challenging.. dont ask me why but i can never manage to get myself a normal girl..
peace
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A
female
reader, baby-blue-eyes  +, writes (30 October 2011):
i like in the middle predictability is very boring but somebody who wont open up gets me thinking somethings going on.
the guy i 'used' to like was always very confusing blowing hot and cold with me never really opening up and revealing his feelings except once and eventually i just got sick of it and closed that door and moved on or at least im trying to
i wouldnt say being an nice guy means you have to be boring though i know plenty of nice guys who i have really interesting conversations with and i could see myself with equally i know some complete idiots who are some of the most boring men on the planet and i have finished with one of those guys simply cause i got bored and couldnt deal with it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2011): I don't think I have ever been attracted to a man who is mentally challenging.
I did like bad boys when I was younger though,alot, those that were aloof and had a take or leave it attitude.
Nowadays I just like a man who is erm, cool, funny,not full of himself.I dont like mind games or competing they either like you or they don't.
So maybe alot of girls just like a bad boy.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (30 October 2011):
For me, at first yes (but everyone kind of is, right?). If they're a never ending mystery, it becomes annoying and I get tired of trying to figure them out if they don't open up...but I'm also an impatient person so I tend to like predictability and for guys to just get to the point.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 October 2011):
 I don't qualify as a girl anymore, alas, and by now I have better things to do with my time than figuring out the mysterious working of the mind of some enigmatic guy .
But , I'd say the middle course is always the best.
You seem surprised that women get bored with predictability. Well, men too. People in general. Of course. Why should they not be ?. One thing is reliability, and another predictability. When you always know for sure how a person will react in a given situation, which food will he pick from the menu, exactly what will he say and what will he do in any given time, oh Gosh. It's not boring, it's nauseating ! It takes much less than 10 years to get sick of it.
I don't think that boring must necessarily be the other side of the coin if you want a nice guy . Like, hey, he is a gentleman, he does not cheat, he's a hard worker... so he is entitled to be set in his ways , tedious and bland. One can be nice and have a sparkling personality, come up with always fresh thoughts , have a range of possible emotions and reactions in various situations. He can be nice and try always new ways to express his sexuality , for instance.
So , no, I don't think that women are too fond of Puzzles, once they are out of their college years. But neither are they willing to stay stuck in a root just because you are a " nice " guy.
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (30 October 2011):
Generally Speaking
Girls are attracted to bad boys
they arent attracted to good and polite nerd type boys,
just being kind of mysterious well add on some spice to you witch well attract more women towards you
but remember just a bit mysterious,
because being completely mysterious well freak the hell out of every girl trying to approach you
Good Luck
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