A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently with my boyf for the last year and a half and I do love him, he's kind and thoughtful and secure.My ex from a few years ago is now back on the scene, we kept in touch in dribs and drabs but hadn't seen each other in years, but are due to go for a drink soon because I want to see how strong my feelings are for him.He was and still is my first love, we broke up because he wasn't emotionally mature enough to be in a proper relationship. Recently we've been more in touch and he's admitted that does and always has loved me, which is something that he had great difficulty expressing when we were together. Now I'm torn with my current boyfriend who I could have a perfectly normal life which I suppose I should be happy with or with my ex I could have a less stable but more exciting and passionate life. Thy're like opposites of each other but both good kind men, I know with my currently boyf something has to give because while I'm happy enough something does have to change because I'm only 'happy enough'. Ultimately my question is if you had the choice between stability and passion what would you choose? It's a case of what's good for me and what I want?Thanks for reading xxx
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male
reader, lionelhutz  +, writes (17 February 2010):
If you're questioning your current boyfriend, it sounds like he would make a good friend, but not the type of guy you want to spend your life with.
On the other hand, if you are going to see your ex, you need to see him with an open mind. If you focus only on the fact he was your first love, you're going to let it cloud your judgement and only see the what you want to see in him.
Ultimately it's a decision only you can make.
A
male
reader, 17andconfused +, writes (17 February 2010):
If your relationship in the past didnt work the chance is there will be the lack of need for a serious relationship now in his life as well. You said you are happy now, Look at the things that make your current boyfriend be in the position he is in already. He loves and cares about you now and thats what matters. It seems exciting to go and see your first love and it confuses you when you think of what your life would be like with your ex. Look at all the bad things that may have happen with your ex and weigh that out to the troubles you have with you current boyfriend. Your ex may very well have been lying saying that he has loved you this whole time. if he would have LOVED you ,you would not already be in tis situation. I belive that stability and your current situaion with a man that loves you and cares for you daily outweigh a man who you loved in the past. I suggest you cut your relations to your ex and focus on your current relationship. If that doesnt work out he will still be there loving you.
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A
female
reader, Ria1  +, writes (16 February 2010):
I think you should go fro a drink with ur ex,and see how he is don't see it from one side tho, see it as a friendly drink! If something does come from it, then worry bout it then! Also be very honest with the bloke your with now, and tell him your going for a friendly drink with your ex! You have to find an answer within yourself on that question, its whatever feels right to you, and what you feel you want! No one can tell you what to do on that one!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 February 2010):
If we're being honest, your current boyfriend isn't the right one for you if you are going to meet up with an ex behind his back to see how you feel. The kind thing to do would be to leave your boyfriend now before he gets hurt and attend to your ex. You're still young, so maybe take a chance with the passion. But remember that many women have been hurt by this type of guy, so if it goes wrong, there's no use in sitting there being hurt. And don't think that he's changed either. However, that said, you know in your heart your boyfriend isn't the 'one', because if he was you wouldn't be thinking about this other guy. Let your boyfriend go and see where it all takes you. It might work out with this other guy. It might not. That's the chance.
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