A
female
age
30-35,
*orsefan14
writes:Ok so here's the deal; I really like this guy. He's got a nice charm to him and he's extremely attractive. We have gone out twice but they both ended after 2 weeks. The first time he cheated on me and the second time he lied to me saying he loved me and wants to be together for a long time yet a week later he ended it. Usually I would just forget about the guy completely but I can't with him. I have no idea why but I can't even get mad at him for longer than 30 seconds.So I need to know what to do because I really like him and don't want to completely let him go but I don't wanna be his little bitch that he can have fun with and then ditch me when he's done. Help?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): Can you not just be friends - I know it sounds simple but if you don't want to be used (understandable) and treated like you have already then surely you have to stay in control. It sounds as though you almost like the temptation and excitement of all this falling out, getting back together. Make a decision about what he means to YOU and stick to it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): Okay, I dont want this to come across as patronising, but you are very young. When I was 14 I was then starting to think about relationships n everything that comes with them. I had boyfriends that I was so sure I loved, couldn't stop thinking about n some of them were complete jerks to me. I think at that age its normal for everyone. You will eventually stop thinking about him.
He is obviously not in love with you, but dont take it to heart. Hes a young guy, hormones going crazy n they wont stop untill hes well into his 20s i reckon! (maybe even later!!)
Treat this as a learning curve, it will make you stronger for future relationships which will mean alot more to you. Don't get back with him n let him know that you wont. Let him know you wont take any sh*t!! If you two are meant to be then it will happen when hes matured.
hope this helps xx
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (17 February 2010):
 If you do not wish to his little bitch, then do not allow him to treat you like his littel bitch. You know the answer really. Unfortunately nothing you will do differently will make him love you. He does not have any respect for you.
Just because you like him, it does not mean that you should carry on being used by him.
At least if you ditch him for good, you may get your self respect back.
If his trend is to wonder, it does not sound like he would change. By taking him back, the message you put out is that he can use his charm whenever he wants to play some more.
It hurts not to be loved back but it is more hurtful to be treatd like a piece of meat where there is nothing better for him to do. Sorry, it may be not what you want to hear but you cannot control his feelings by loving for the both of you. What you can control is how you conduct your life, so do not settle for being his casual time filler.
I wish you all the strengh and love you need to be forget this guy. The sooner you do, the sooner you will meet someone special that loves you back the same way.
There so many decent guys out there, as lonely as you that can make you happy.
Take control of your happiness by getting rid of this guy that causes you pain. It is your life, start living it to the full. Life is to short to waist. Peace
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (17 February 2010):
 Brilliant answer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): Easy answer. If you don't want to "be his little bitch that he can have fun with and then ditch" then don't have any more contact with him. It's that simple. Men, and women for that matter, will sometimes treat you as badly as you allow them to and this guy has already clearly shown you his level of respect that he has for you which is not a lot. Respect yourself as a woman and understand that you deserve better and then move on.
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