A
male
age
41-50,
*ruce lee
writes:*OP's own title* I happen to know someone who blames other people that he can't get a girlfriend. He whines that he wishes he'd never been born. He lost his virginity to a prostitute. He says he is a good guy and that he can't understand why the women won't go out with him. And that person is...me. My question is...should I wait for things to change or for life to become easier? Or should I just go out there and risk being rejected again? Should I take any risks?
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male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (3 May 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question "It's a well-known fact that ever since the beginning of time, good things don't always happen to nice people. I guess I'm just another one of those examples."
That's a quote from a Bible passage.
But thanks for the advice. I'll have to take some risks and stop waiting for things to happen. I also need to get a job one day.
God bless all of you.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (2 May 2010):
 Hi Bruce,
Thought this might be you. You got a lot of good advice about risks here. In a way waking up every day is a risk. You simply can't avoid all risks.
You probably feel that dating and relationship risks are greater for you because you have a higher failure rate. The truth is that you lose no more than anyone else does each time. You are making the loses cumulative in your mind, when you should treat them individually.
The trick with risk management is to evaluate the risks ahead of time. This is going to be harder for you than for most people. The other part is that you limit your input to the appropriate level. If you put your whole self into each approach, you will wear yourself out. You need to hold back some until you can test the waters. Then when you start getting positive feedback you can add a little more.
I hope this is making sense.
FA
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 May 2010):
Take the risks. I took a risk once and got hurt. I took another risk and am going broke. I'll take another risk when I have to. Life is about taking risks. Some work, some don't. You won't know what will work and what won't unless you try though, so keep going. You have nothing to lose by trying.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 May 2010):
 Life is all about taking risks. Nothing ventured,nothing gained.
Calculated risks possibly,not foolhardy risks. So maybe test the waters a bit before taking the plunge. Find out if she has a boyfriend. Smile at her and see if she smiles you back. Stuff like that.
And don't be afraid of rejection. Rejection is a very normal part of life,not a devastating tragedy you cannot recover from.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, ManAfterChrist +, writes (2 May 2010):
 YES you need to get back out there! Sure, you will be rejected numerous times but who cares? If you had some girl come hit on you, and you just were not interested, you would probably forget about her the week after. Same thing applies vice-versa! No girl that rejects you is going to laugh about it 3 days later. She probably won't even remember unless you really did something obnoxious. Just get back out there, and quit being upset at yourself for being rejected. You need to take risks, otherwise you will just be alone your whole life. Sorry to throw that in there, but it's true bud.
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A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (2 May 2010):
 Definitely take risks.
Taking risks and getting rejected can lead to short term humiliation / embarrassment / feeling down about oneself, but the key is it's only short term - you'll get over it.
It's better to risk being rejected than not trying at all.
And it's good to keep in mind that despite what a lot of people think, no one is entitled to anybody else. People aren't entitled to have a boyfriend / girlfriend / husband / wife / etc. just because they're alive and walk this earth. If you go into it thinking "I'm entitled to a woman" you can come off as arrogant, and you may not even realise you're putting that attitude out there.
I'm not saying this is what you do, I'm just giving some general advice.
Good luck with finding your lady :)
And if it helps, there are plenty of people - men and women alike - who are in the exact same boat. More than one could imagine, probably.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): Well, there are always risks in the realm of dating, love and relationships. Although giving special attention to the risks is important, what is even more important is making certain we chose the right partner. There could be a number of reasons why you are rejected for dates--are you attractive? Are you too much of a "bad guy" or a "good guy?" Do you work? Do you have a great attitude? What kind of women are you seeking? Are you healthy mentally, and emotionally? Do you have unresolved issues? You haven't given enough information about yourself that may be important in trying to give you the best advice possible.
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