A
male
age
41-50,
*ohn Smithy
writes:My girlfriend is 19 I'm 30! That has been going for 3 months. Her family knows me, 3 close friends of her know about her and me but she won't tell her family about her and me, she won't let me meet her other friends! She says she don't want to be judged and rejected. Am I right if I'm started to be a bit upset? I think I'm a decent guy so I think I'm presentable too! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (18 March 2010):
 you have every right to be slightly upset because it must almost feel like she is keeping you as a dirty little secret and is embarassed by the relationship but you have to understand you are 30 she is 19 that is quite a bit of an age difference although its common in some places some parents or families dont agree with that sort of age gap and your gf is aware that her family will cause a feud with her about the age difference.it is understandable that she wants to keep your relationship a secret from certain people because if they knew they might try and talk her out of being with you or talk badly of you and her which is not what she wants.you need to talk to your gf and ask her if youl ever get to meet her family and tell her how you feel about the situation
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 March 2010):
 You need to be patient and bid your time. Forcing the issue on her will only make her unhappy and she may make a decision which maybe disadvantage to you.
You need to allow her to make that decision in her time .There is no need to hurry as long as you are both happy and enjoying each others company. That is all that matters in a relationship.
If you are always together, people can see what is going on and they don't need to receive any official announcement from her .
She may have her own reasons and it is wise not to upset her because it would show your lack of respect for her .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010): She knows her family better than you do, so if she suspects they will disapprove of your relationship because of the age difference you need to respect her judgment on this. Let her make the introduction in her own time.
Not meeting her other friends,however, is a bit suspect. Maybe she's worried that they won't get along with you.
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A
female
reader, ElectricSheep  +, writes (18 March 2010):
 Well, I think she's just worried what they might think because of the age gap. For being together for three months, the number of people who know about you two is good at this point. She might need more time to introduce you to her family.
I do think you have the right to be upset, but understand where she's coming from. She can't keep you a secret for too long though; she needs to know that you need to be open about your relationship. You two being together is not a bad thing! People are going to judge no matter what, but she shouldn't fear rejection because this is about you and her, not about you two and the rest of the world.
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A
female
reader, jada101 +, writes (18 March 2010):
 Judged or rejected sounds like she has some growin up 2do the age-difference does bother her seems that she is insecure of the relationship im 21 and my bf is 39 I been witjh him 4 almost 3 years. After 2 moths into the relationship he know all my friends. You need 2 think bout this b4 u start havein more feeling for her @ the age of 19 to bout 25 most woman want 2 have fun sorry 2 say but most man @ ur age r lookin for a wife not a girlfriend. I didn't care bout the age with my boyfriend because I had a child b4 bein with him so my party days didn't matter 2 me as much I was lookin for somebody 2 have a fam... life with she is still lookin for a party buddy hope this help think bout ur age and hers
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