A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last night me and my boyfriend got into a really big argument. It started about this guy who fancy’s my boyfriend and saying stuff like ‘hey u sexy thing’ … I got a little annoyed as obviously I didn’t want other people talking to him like that and I wouldn’t of minded if it was a joke but this boy really has a thing for my boyfriend . The argument got worse and worse and in the end my boyfriend said he didn’t wanna be with me anymore. After sitting up talking all night we sorted things out and I thought we were fine but then he said that maybe we should have a week off from seeing each other as we have both been stressed lately and maybe some time to ourselves could do us good, I reluctantly agreed and went to sleep. After returning home this morning I got a tex from one of my boyfriends mates saying the guy who liked my boyfriend was staying over my boyfriends house tonight, it didn’t bother me much until I got another tex from this friend saying that he wouldn’t be surprised if this guy would come on to my boyfriend tonight. I’m really worried, I trust my boyfriend but I don’t trust this guy. Am I worrying about nothing? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Natalie:) +, writes (10 November 2010):
 I personally think principle here is quite important. He knows your not comfortable with this! Although I can't imagine if he was trying to prove a point he'd get with this guy cos then you were right.
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (10 November 2010):
 Just because there is a history doesn't mean something will happen. Has your BF given you reason not to trust him?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry i forgot to mention my boyfriend is bisexual and i found out something has happened between him and this guy a long time ago.
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female
reader, Blod +, writes (9 November 2010):
 Well if you trust your boyfriend, then you needn't worry. I'm sure if this guy goes too far your boyfriend would let him know. It's likely you have a lot less to worry about than if it was a girl coming on to him!
It's understandable that you don't like it, but try to hide that as much as you can. Making a fuss of it suggests to your boyfriend that you're insecure with your relationship which will annoy him. You don't need to worry until your boyfriend starts to show real interest in him. Otherwise just try to act like you're not too bothered. If it's really upsetting you then talk to your boyfriend. Just be sure to choose your words carefully. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (9 November 2010):
Is your BF bi? If not, then you have nothing to worry about. Besides, this "Friend" may be trying to cause trouble (the one texting you details you wonder how they got). I honestly don't think you trust your BF much or you wouldn't be so worried, and you wouldn't have flipped out with someone else hitting on him. Your jealousy was very ugly to him, and he was right to call things off. You've got to work on your issues before you can have a healthy relationship. Maybe it's best if you don't get back together after this break.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 November 2010):
Unless your boyfriend is gay, I don't see what problem there is here at all. Also, why are you so quick to doubt your boyfriend? You say you trust your boyfriend, yet there you were in a huge argument, and now you're worried about this other guy staying over (supposedly)
And why are you angry at your boyfriend? What can he do about someone fancying him? He can't do anything. You've got angry at your boyfriend for no reason whatsoever.
And how come you're quick to believe this friend that this guy is even staying over? That could be a huge trick.
It seems to me that you've made a mountain out of a mole hill here. I don't know what your boyfriend did to deserve being distrusted and wind up in a huge argument with you. And worse for you, it seems that the jealousy and insecurity you've shown here has pushed him away. I think you need to stop panicking about this other guy, because unless your boyfriend is gay, there's nothing there. And I think you need to do a bit of apologizing to your boyfriend. He hasn't done anything, and you don't even have proof that this other guy is over there at his house.
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female
reader, Natalie:) +, writes (9 November 2010):
I don't think it's fair that your boyfriend would let him sleep over when he knows how you feel about it.
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