A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i am 45 and newly divorced. i ran into my first crush at asge 13 5 months ago and we have been seeing each other ever since. in the start he talk me he had a place 6hr away and he lived with his bestfriend that is a girl. didnt think too much about until i found out that there once was a relationship but she was just a best friend to him but seems she is in love with him. i asked him where he slept and he stated they slept in same bed. now i have a problem!!!! i was told by friends of his she is only his friend and has never introduced her as anything more. so now he stays with me. she calls every morning and every night and he still pays part of the bills and gives her money. i am ate up with this situation... not a real insecure person, but am now with her. when he talks to her she asked what yoiu doing and i am sitting right there and he will say sitting having a beer. if she knows all about me why wouldnt he say We're sitting having a beer? i feel like he is trying to spare her feelings and if she is just best friend what is there to spare. i blame him for this but really dont know how to be ok with this. he says when i get to meet her i will love her and she will be part of our lifes. when we discuss this he asked me what about i am in love with you dont u understand. i will not come second and i feel like if he is gonna be with me i should be his best friend and his lover. i have spolen to her and i know she understands who i am now but not always has she. so am i wrong to have such a issue?
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female
reader, Alexisonfire  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 I think you should look into his relationship with this woman a bit more. Find out their history, like how they met and how they ended up living together.
I'd say that you should see this woman in person first before you say anything to your partner. Everyone has different relationships to each other, this woman might have similar relationships with her other friends. Or you could be right that she has feelings for your partner and is checking up all the time, mainly to see if his relationship status has changed.
Body language can say everything about a person, so wait until you's all meet up and then see what the outcome is.
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