A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:In the past couple of weeks I've started seeing a girl who I really like. Until recently she had a boyfriend so the terms of our going out were sort of up in the air. A few weeks ago, we went out for some beer and had a great time, talking for hours. Afterward, I invited her to grab a cup of tea in my apartment. She came up, and I basically asked her straight out what here status was. She admitted she was in a relationship, but that she really enjoyed hanging out with me and things weren't going the greatest with her boyfriend. I told her I thought our hanging out was undermining her other relationship and that I found her really attractive. I also said if she was going to stay with this other guy we should probably stop seeing each other. She thanked me for my honesty, saying she's get back to me. We met again recently for beer where she admitted she ended her relationship, saying she thought was for the best, saying she was not interested in diving into anything serious right away. At the end of the night, I asked her if she would like to come back to my place to watch a movie. She declined, though did make it clear she wants to keep hanging out and we both agreed we had fun that evening. I don't think I completely "blew it" but obviously I was a little too forward. What's the best way to proceed in this situation? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sherrig  +, writes (17 March 2013):
Do fun things with her, ask her to go skating, car races, the show. show her what fun is about, and what a fun guy you are. I'm sure she will fall for you if you give her time to have fun and chill for a while. Good Luck
A
female
reader, harchi  +, writes (16 March 2013):
 i think giving her a space, will do for now since she just came out from a relationship. Please don't try to rush her. Goodluck.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (16 March 2013):
Well, when you invited her for tea last time there was no hidden agenda, you just had tea and a talk. So why would she be offended by the suggestion of watching a movie?
Don’t beat yourself up about it, she’s just come out of a relationship so don’t expect too much, too soon. Take it slowly, arrange to meet up again, perhaps for dinner, and this time don’t invite her back to your place. Do this a couple more times and then invite her back if you feel it’s the right moment.
I wish you all the very best.
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