A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do I salvage my relationship?Where to start...I have been a completely idiot and c**t towards my partner who has only been supportive and full of love to me.We've been together for two and a half years and for the majority of that time I've been a twat.I snap at her, I'm constantly grumpy, I hate my job but can't seem to fix it, I've lied to her (in my head white lies but I should have just been honest), I have issues with sex (I don't get in the mood very often and leave her unsatisfied), I haven't been there for her through some serious issues, I've spoken about her behind her back (I got horrendously drunk and still don't remember what it was I said but she heard it all) and to top it off I was really aggressive towards her last week (I grabbed her and pushed her around BUT never hit her). Wow - typing all of this makes me really wonder how on earth she's stayed with me all this time. The only thing I haven't done to her is cheat on her.She feels trapped in our relationship and unsatisfied sexually. She doesn't even want to kiss or hug me anymore. She's told me she doesn't trust me (because of her catching me talking about her)I do love her and I don't want to be this person. I have depression and I know I need to sort this out as a lot of these issues tie into it. I don't want to imagine life without her.How do I even begin to try and get her to trust me and forgive me again? I know it will take time. I've started at the gym to try and make me physically healthier which will help with my mental health and I've consulted with a counsellor through my workplace.I feel such disgust towards myself for doing all of this but I need to rise above it and fix our relationship and show her how sorry I am. She's given me a monthAny ideas or help would be greatly appreciated.
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male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe +, writes (17 March 2013):
 I dont think a month is enough to sort this out because it is connected to sorting yourself out. You do need counselling, maybe even medication to deal with the depression, the depression is also linked to the low sex drive so solving that is the key to everything.
Obviously, your feelings about your job and life in general also stem from this. So, solving your depression is the key here. You may even need to make some radical changes. The only thing you can do to salvage this relationship is basically start the journey on the long road you have to travel, talk to your doctor, get counselling and if you show your willing to address this hopefully your partner will see this and credit you for being willing to see there is a problem and starting to address it. Good luck :)
A
female
reader, sherrig  +, writes (17 March 2013):
#1, see a dr about your sex drive, be sure to go to your counseling, and sit down and tell her how sorry you are, and how you couldn't or would never want to live without her.The people she caught you talking about her to, should stay away from your home for a while.God Bless and good Luck. Always put her first.
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