A
female
age
26-29,
*lice96
writes:dear cupid. I have never thought of myself as pretty, but lately everyone has been calling me ugly. I get called ugly at least once everyday. Especially guys. Today, one of my friends made a flirting comment towards me and him and I was a little surprised but he just looked at me and said "that would be so disgusting" I always get put down by my "best friend" telling me how much awesomer, prettier, thiner, and better she is and how ugly, fat and stupid I am. And today some guys were making fun of me telling me how I would always be single for the rest of my life because I am one "ugly mother f*****" they say it staight to my face and whenever I tell that that's very mean and to stop, they repond with "it's not mean if it's true". I try not to let it get to me but it happens all the time by almost everybody and my self-esteem is almost non-existant. I don't know what to to because whenever I try to defend myself their comments get meaner. I know I'm not pretty, but I wish they would stop reminding me every single day. They always pick at my flaws, I don't have big enough boobs, I'm not thin enough, my hair is crap, my clothes are stupid, etc. All the time and I hate it.
View related questions:
boobs, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, theconfusedteen  +, writes (13 May 2010):
hey, I feel your pain. I'm 15 and I'm flat. Just yesterday, a cute guy in my class told me my boobs were too small and asked me to go for plastic surgery. It hurt, of course, but I couldn't do anything. Just ignore the horrible things they say, okay? =) Everyone's beautiful in their own unique way, and so are you!
A
female
reader, Alice96 +, writes (7 May 2010):
Alice96 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for encouraging me and giving me really good advice. I'm going to leave those people behind and try to be more confident with myself.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): everyone on here has alreadyh given you some very good advice. i just thort id let you know tho that wen i was at school i was you. the person that got picked on all the time for things that simply werent true. i suffered years of bullying throughout school. you are 13-15 right? well soon you will be getting a job and leaving school and beleive me the world is very different from school. things change and you will meet new people who will give you a confidence you thort you never had. wen those guys tell you that ur ugly they are lying and the others on here are right. they are very probably in denial that you are in fact just as pretty as the other girls. its ok to be different too. that was another thing that i was picked on for. because i didnt fit in according to them but really they just wernt giving me the chance to be who i wanted to be because they were always being so horrible. i suggest you find yourself some new friends. there will be someone who u will get along with. things will get better. and like i sed once u leave school things will definitely get better. because you mmove away from all those immature kids and get on with ur life. i did and now i have a boyfriend and i have friends who i know will be there for me and wont put me down behind my back. one last little bit of advice hunny... always try and look for the positives. when you are trying to make new friends dont think that they wont get along with you just talk to them find out whether you think you could see yourself being friends and untill they do something that isnt nice to you then dont knock them aside. a peice of advice from someone i can trust. i wish you all the luck hunny and smile xxx
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (6 May 2010):
 Everyone has given good advice. You're at an age where people are especially cruel. I remember the way people got picked on and it makes me sick thinking about it. I'd like to second the comment that the "pretty" ones now, often look used up and rough in about 10 years. I know that is the case for 85% of the hot girls from my class.
Hang in there. Find some new friends. Hopefully ones that don't care about the superficiality that comes with being young.
...............................
A
male
reader, bournedout +, writes (6 May 2010):
Alice96, what you are experiencing is bullying -- plain and simple. What they are doing to you is not supposed to be tolerated in any school. You should get to a school counselor / vice principal or the like as soon as possible. These cases generally don't go away on their own. They are already having an impact on your self image -- that is clear. You need to treat this just as if someone threatened to beat you up for your lunch money. It is not you -- it's them, and they need counseling and behavior modification.
The sexual content of their comments is particularly disturbing. When I was young, this kind of crap was unfortunately tolerated as "boys will be boys." Now we know that boys making such comments can grow up to be sexual harassers and date rapists if they are not taught to straighten up.
Please see adults in charge about this. They absolutely should NOT be doing this.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 May 2010):
You need new friends. What this means is that you ARE the prettiest one, and they're all jealous so they're bullying you. They don't want to admit to themselves that they're not as good, so they bully you instead. Tell a teacher and get out there and meet new people. You're a lot better that those weirdos, that's fir sure.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): Ditch these loosers and find yourself some new friends. It's funny how the whole looks thing works, I remember vividly when I went to middle/high school who the pretty girls where. Fast forward 10 years and age has not been kind to them. The people that are good looking in middle/high school are usually not the good looking adults and vice versa. I'm sure you'll have guys drooling over you in no time.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 Tell your teacher, and find new friends. This is not a friend you have. This is bullying, and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the way you look. In fact they might even be jealous because you are prettier!
Im guessing you scoffed at that comment, but believe it or not it is true. I was called ugly as well in middle school, and then when I started high school I had guys interested in me, and no one called me ugly. I got compliments and found out that others were jealous. And not to brag, but I don't have a problem at all attracting men now.
Trust me, as you grow and learn to value yourself (and get real friends) the issue will not be whether or not you can get a boyfriend, but whether or not you can find someone good enough.
Tell your teacher and say you are being bullied and get an end to it. You deserve more than this crap.
...............................
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 Sweetie you need new friends. These people are not your friends, friends just don't treat each other like that! As hard as it is hold your head high and ignore these extremely cruel and hurtful comments. Keep this mantra in your head: "I'm valued, I'm loved, I'm worthy and I'm beautiful." Say this to yourself everytime someone says something like that to you because it's TRUE!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): Oh Sweethart, time to get some new friends I think.let me tell you a funny story, When I was at school there was a girl very similar to you. She was teased all the time. I was one of her only friends. This poor girl was not very pretty at school but she was a beautiful person ( I am still very good friends with her today) the funny part is when she grew up, everything changed.. She is now a runway model in Milan... Im being very serious, she is stunning, it took until she was about 18 for this to happen.The funny thing is all the girls who teased her are fat ugly and stuck in the same town we grew up in! they are all stay at home motheres who have never ever achieved anything. I know this won't help now, but hang in there kitten you will be just fine.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): that sucks, it is hard to believe that people are that cruel. my first advice would to be to stop hanging around these people because they are obviously not your friends, secondly go find friends who will apreciate you. your talents, your personality, and your good features. There is beauty in everyone so try to look in the mirror and not think negativley. only look at the things that are good about yourself. find your best features and then accentuate them with clothes that flatter that part or make up that will make them pop. get some confidence and it will shine through. let these people know that what they say really doesn't phase you, and if you must, remind them (and i know you've probably heard this before, but its true) that people who feel the need to constantly put others down, like "your best friend" are just insecure about themselves and feel better when they can find flaws in others. i hope this helps sweetie, and hope things get better
...............................
|
