A
female
age
36-40,
*sh_oc
writes:I am currently 7wks and 2days pregnant but I also have an IUD!! I am 23 and I have two kids already. I got pregnant at 15 and 16yrs old. My sons are now 5 and 7. My boyfriend of 2yrs is 30yrs old and has four children with his previous wife. So we ARE the Brady Bunch. We love having a big family and we have discussed having children before but our answers never change. I wanted the option to have more children and he is COMPLETELY done. We just arent ready to make a decision like this..He wants an abortion and I do not! His family backs him in this decision..They said I have two options..Abortion or adoption. I am a young mother but I feel I have so far beaten the statistics..I graduated high school on time! With two kids! I went to prom..started college. Met a great guy with a well paying career in aviation. I was not ready for a baby and he does not want one but even with it being an IUD pregnancy and the high risks that come with it..I cant see how abortion is the answer..Whats one more when you have 6..seriously? Does anyone have an oppinion about this? I am not crazy! I didnt plan this. As a matter of fact, I planned for this not to happen. IUD's are 99% effective. There is a very high risk I will have a miscarriage.. I think I could live with that easier..I feel like if I go ahead with this I will have the life sucked right out of me and i will never recover from the damage..Yet I love him and respect him and I understand his side too. He already took on two more kids when we moved in together. I am just torn here..Any advice?
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female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (6 May 2010):
does an IUD mean u can miscarry? can u not get it removed? Id advise you to keep the baby its not fair to be pressured into an abortion and chigirl has outlined good reasons for keeping it
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 If he was dead set against having more children, why didn't he put on a condom as a back up precaution ? In fact, why didn't he get a vasectomy ? He knew that he was still risking an unplanned pregnancy.
Anyway,don't let him or his family pressure you .This is a very personal,individual decision. It's your body after all. Only you can decide what you want to be done, or not done, to it.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 Oh hun, you're in a tough spot. If abortion is something you can't live with, then be true to yourself. Regardless of what he and his family say, you have to live with *you* for the rest of your life.
But adoption? I've thought of this myself, in case we had an "accident". How do you explain to your children that you're having a baby but giving it away? I've never managed to square that circle.
You've made a life and a family with the boyfriend. Regardless of the birth control, by not wearing a condom he made a choice to take the chance. OK, in the one in a thousand it came up wrong. You're young, and one more should be do-able since you've already got such a big brood. He needs to man up and take on the care of one more child. And immediately go out and get snipped.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 I wrote you a longer response, but my laptop crashed just before I was to post it. So excuse me, but I will make this a shorter summarized one.
Keep the child. You will end up resenting your man for making you take an abortion. And what would happen if you had an abortion and later down the line he left you or you two didn't work out? You'd be consumed by what you gave up for him. You shouldn't do this for him. Make this decision on your own! He is the one who wanted 4 children, you only have 2 and you want more. If you two broke up he'd take his kids with him when he leaves.
I hope you two work it out, but I sense you are one of those people who would never recover from an abortion and that in the end it'd take the best out of you. Listen to your heart and you will know what to do.
If you do end up deciding for an abortion, you are doing it for good reason. There are many children already in the house, can you afford another? And to add in all the high risks of the UID pregnancy. But, only do what you feel is right for you, you are the one who will be living with the decision for the rest of your life.
And as a last note: you had your first two children at a very early age, an age where most would have opted for an abortion. You had just as, if not more, reasons then to have abortions. Don't let anyone bully you into a decision. This is your life. And it is your child.
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