A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There's this guy. And he's cheating on his girlfriend.. with me.I'm the other girl.I honestly love him and think he's the one.However, he told me he's thinking of breaking up with his girlfriend to be with me, but he hasn't yet. and it's been over a month since it all started. It kills me to see him with his girlfriend, holidng hands and kissing..My friends say I should get over him, but I don't know if i can.What should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2012): Been there ... Got the t shirt...Run!!!! X
A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (15 August 2012):
 Do you really want to be with a guy who's cheating on his gf with you? Does that not worry you at all about what he'll do in your relationship... should you even have one?
Let's face it, when a guy tells you he's going to leave his girlfriend for you... most of the time, it doesn't happen. He likes having his cake and eating it too. He's a douche, but you make it easy for him.
And I was about to go crazy thinking no one said anything about your involvement in this, and came to honeypie's post and breathed a sigh of relief. What you are doing is WRONG. You are no better than he is, in this situation. Have some respect for yourself, and have some respect for this poor girl he's cheating on with you... and FORGET THIS GUY.
Move on to someone who is SINGLE (that's important) and who wont string you along and play games with your head. If you want better you have to deserve better, and right now you don't, so don't expect to get it from him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2012): I've already answered this but i'll say it again: he's not going to leave her but if he does it won't be for you. Move on and find yourself a decent guy.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (14 August 2012):
 I already answered the second post of this identical question. But the responses are all about the same, listen to them.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (14 August 2012):
Your in a great relationship if you want to be second fiddle your whole life.
Spoiler - hes not leaving his gf. Its not happening.
Proceed accordingly.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (14 August 2012):
 Hang it up. That line is TOO OLD, and 99% of the time it's just a line. Nothing real behind it. If he really means it, wait until he has broken off with his current g/f before you take this any further, and tell him that he is going to have to make a choice. He can't have both.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 August 2012):
 Back off. Dump him.
If he really loves you like he claims, he will do the right thing.
And honey, it's only been a month.
However, I have to question your taste. Dating a man with that kind of morals, do you think he will be faithful to you? That you have some kind of super snatch that magically fixes a guy's lack of morals and respect for his girlfriend?
And I DO think you need to look at your own behavior too. Why go after a guy who is taken? Or even get involved KNOWING he has a GF? How would YOU feel if you were a GF and some girl did that with YOUR partner?
What exactly do you love about this guy ?(that you have only know a month).....
You need to spend some time thinking on the HARD stuff.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 August 2012):
 Pretty much everyone involved in an affair says the same things. That they promise they will leave soon, but it's complicated right now so they can't (she has mental problems, she will kill herself, some complicated family issue, it's her birthday soon, etc... etc...). They also usually tell the person they are cheating with how awful their current girlfriend is and how much better you are, but can't leave because of the above reasons.
This guy is a weasel. He cheats on his girlfriend and he lies to you to make you love him. The guy you are in love with is not who he is. It is just a fake thing he's put on so he can have sex with you. Who he really is is a guy who sees no problem in lying to multiple people who love him to get what he wants. He's a liar and a cheater. You don't want this guy to leave his girlfriend for you. How do you think he will treat you if he does? He will likely treat you exactly the same way.
You can get over him, you are stronger than you think. I don't know you but I do know that. You need to stop seeing him and distract yourself. You don't even have to tell him if you don't think you have the strength, you don't owe him anything. Just stop seeing him, no explanation. Make sure to set up lots of activities. Go learn a skill, take classes, go out with friends and try a new bar or restaurant, get on your bike and get in shape, do something so you are busy as much as possible. Have a friend get on your phone and delete his phone number/block it and block him on facebook and email. You want to remove temptation to contact him. It won't be easy, but you can do it. Once you get through it you will feel so much better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2012): From what I gather, the majority of cheaters do not leave their current partners for the person they're cheating with.
They simply want their cake and eat it too (He wants the fun with you, but the security of his girlfriend).
I reckon he's just telling you what you want to hear to keep you interested in him.
Why would you want to be with a guy that cheats anyway? If he can do It to her, he can (and probably will) do it to you too.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (14 August 2012):
 You have to end this relationship for your own sake. This is the classic behaviour of a cheater - he tells you what you want to hear because he knows that is what keeps you hooked (i.e. "I will leave her for you" etc) whereas he actually has no intention of leaving her EVER.
If they are holding hands, kissing etc then it seems they are fairly happy and in love, it doesnt exactly sound like they are a couple having problems does it. So why would he leave her when he is clearly happy with her?
He knows he has a bit of fun on the side with you, and then goes back to the faithful loving girlfriend at the end of the day. You are no more than a bit of fun, illicit sex - you are the forbidden fruit and he is only with you because he knows he is getting away with it. If his girlfriend found out I bet he would drop you like a hot potato and never look back.
You deserve more than this cheater and liar, he is an awful person for what he is doing to you and his girlfriend and you should not settle for this. Dont allow yourself to be the other woman, imagine the pain you would cause to his girlfriend if she found out. Do you really want to inflict that kind of pain on another person?
Dump this rat and move on, yes it will be tough but you will free yourself up to meet nice single guys who will love you and only you.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2012): Sounds like he's stringing you along, your friends are right. Also how can you be with someone who cheated to be with you there's a chance he would do it to you. He would have left her if he didn't just want you for the side sex
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (14 August 2012):
 Hi
He has no respect for either of you, her as he lies and cheats on her and you cos all you are is illicit sex to him
Your friends are right
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