A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been married 9 years. We each have 2 grown children. The problem is his daughter -she is 30 years old and only calls us when she wants something - usually money but some kind of favor. He can't say no to her. Not only is this unfair to other kids, I am angry because she walks all over him. He doesn't see it. Please help me before our marriage falls apart. By the way, this didn't start until the year after we were married. She had a job then..... now she is not working, "sick" and has a husband who's working, no kids, and he goes along with her requests to "us". Please help me before my marriage falls apart.
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): thanks for your advice - don't know what to do. Seeing a counselor - will keep you posted. Thank you.
A
female
reader, Tray-Lou  +, writes (25 August 2007):
you need to tell him that although she is his daugther and you always want to help them there is a cut off point when you need to be strong and make them stand on their own two feet and be adults my brother is thirty and still lives at home and is on benefits but there comes a point when they need a kick up the arse and stop relying on you for everything and they will appreciate it later but when your children are grown up its when you want it to be just you and husband he needs to realise that parents are not piggy banks for their children when they are short of money and the more it goes on the more difficult it will be for him to stop it but eventually he will realise that its not good giving all your money away to children as it makes them ask for more you need to realise that if you just forget and let him get on with your marriage will fall apart and you wont have felt like you tried to put a stop to it. if its bugging you this much (and i know it would me)you need to make your feelings perfectly clear or it will just drive you insane and if he sees you as a nag then you need to tel him that it is affecting you toogood luck
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): I didn't know how to add to my question - after reading 3 answers I think I need to clarify...he doesn't want me to give anything to my kids or his other kid, just her. Her illness is a chronic thing such as an arthritis - she drives, smokes, shops, etc. Not crippled. If your spouse only gave to one child and not others, wouldn't you be angry?
...............................
A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (18 August 2007):
Before i can really judge this one, how can you be sure she isn't sick? What is the supposed cause of this illness?
...............................
A
female
reader, so sick +, writes (18 August 2007):
I dont understand why you feel as if this is destroying your mariage? I think if you have been married happily for so long then this should not matter. This is very insignificant to your marriage and family. It is his daughter...and think of this..if it were your daughter...would u do things for her even if your husband didnt approve. Also..it could be worse..she could live a couple of miles down the road and be over asking for more than what she does now. I say...let it go...she is your husbands child...and yah she may have her problems...but if she were your child how would you feel if your husband was always griping at you to not give your child what she wants/needs?
...............................
A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (18 August 2007):
 Let him be who he is. Whatever demons or past amends he feels he needs to make are up to him. Don't make his life harder than it already is. Get over it, past it, and let it go. If you can't, let him go. Simple choice, because you can't change him. Be happy...please.
...............................
|
