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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: This is going to sound stupid, but I have a huge complex with my small boobs, thanks to my ex. We didn't break up because of that, we broke up because he was abusive and too controlling.But the thing is, in some occasions he bluntly told me to my face that some singers and actresses and porn stars were hot. I didn't even ask, he just said so. When I asked him if he thought they were hotter than me he said yes. I asked him if it was because they had large boobs, and he said yeah, that slim women with big boobs were "every guy's ideal physically".In a couple occasions, when I had lost weight, he pointed out how my boobs had shrunk, and if there was anything I could do about it. He even suggested implants once.I mean, before meeting him, I felt a bit self conscious about my boobs, but didn't really think about it. It was just a bit. But now I feel terribly insecure, and I find myself unable to believe there are guys who say they prefer smaller. Even if they genuinely do, there's no way for me to know if it's actually true. I just don't believe them. I mean, in the media big breasts are always emphasized (unlike small which are downplayed). I compare myself to every girl I see, and I envy them so much if they have big breasts, especially when they're wearing cleavage (that means they're proud of them). I hate watching TV or movies because of the constant emphasis on breasts or nudity. And all of it reminds me of my ex. And his stupid comments, the pain, and I want to cry again. I'm like traumatized, and I feel like I'll never enjoy that part of my body again, with nobody, not even if they claim to like small breasts, because my boyfriend told me all men thought alike. I have also read some articles on websites like Psychology Today which confirm what he told me. Unfortunately, I don't want a guy who will settle for me physically, I want a guy who prefers my body type over any other. I don't like being settled for. It sucks.
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female
reader, JessicaXxx  +, writes (12 August 2012):
 What a freaking jerk!!!!!! I'd kick him straight in the balls until he see's white! not all guys like big boobs,small breasts can be insanly cute and cuddely and no not all guys think the same his heads up his arse small breasts are achually more sensitive which makes it great for sex trust me I'm a B36 and I used to hate my breasts until I figured out the pro's of having small breasts like I said they are insanly cute just remember not all guys are into big breasts
Besides big breasts really aren't that awesome,back pains,sagging,strech marks,tell me right now are stretch marks and sagging sexy?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2011): I've been with many sizes, and while I admit to liking C cups the most, small breasts dont turn me on any less...probably because they are not a focal point of a woman's beauty to me. Smaller breasts, to me, actually denote greater athleticism, model-like beauty, natural beauty and make a woman look skinnier in many cases. I dislike fake boobs, although I understand many women get them for medical reasons.Breasts are absolutely NOT a focal point for all men, and breast size is NOT an indicator of how turned on we are by a woman. I think it would be a very insecure man who would need large breasts to like a woman. Prefer them, maybe. But every man's ideal...hell no.
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male
reader, Sjef  +, writes (30 May 2011):
Hope you got over it.
And maybe it helps, there are men, like me, that love small boobs. My wife has an A cup and they are great, I love them.
Goodluck
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2011): Your ex was a jerk. Please, PLEASE know that you are ok... and the right man will affirm you as you are.
I have been small breasted all of my life. My breast actually sit a mile apart from each other (LOL) and I always wished I had the deep cleavage of large close together breasts.
Yet, most men in my life have loved my little 'tits'. And have said so verbally, so there are men out there cool with small breasts. Some men look at the shape and feel and nipples and not just how big they are.
Some men just want big breasts even if they are hard and teflon fakes. They just have the big breast preference. There's no need in me being with a man that intrigue by larger breasts.
It is really about preference and as big boobs have been the visual staple of pornography, some men seem to trip. But not all men feel this way and more and more porn shows women with small breasts. So it's not even as big of a deal there either.
The right man will affirm your breast no matter what the size...
My current lover loves my little 'titties' (as he calls them) and say how he likes they are just the right 'handful' and shape and spends a great deal of time sucking and caressing them. I have very large nipples which seems to intrigue men once they see them.
Since many think that is only to be found on big breasted women. Hah! Surprise!!!
I know I'm small breasted and don't really wear heavily padded bras much. If a man is into larger breasted woman I want him to know what I am up front.
I think men who have a strong preference for big breasts should just GET WITH WOMEN WHO 'HAVE' BIG BREASTS. Problem solved.
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A
female
reader, Natalie:)  +, writes (1 November 2010):
 Man that guy has actually annoye me! Why an absolute idiot!!! I find most guts actually find every type of boob hot and I'm an A but it's never bothered me! But that guy is such an idiot! He ... Give him a slap from me will you !!
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female
reader, Rosygirls92  +, writes (31 October 2010):
He's a jerk I think he said those things cuz he was ashamed of his small pee pee
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A
male
reader, Ldu +, writes (29 September 2010):
personally as a male....i could care less about breasts lol im'a "ass" man haha sounds so stupid writing it down but yeah...not every guy is physically attracted to big breasts even tho thats what porn and etc say......Its the same for guys tho In porn guys are huge and can last hours pounding away, in television/movies all those guys have abbs etc....we live in a world of insecurities. The trick is to remember that all that is media driven because "sex sells" It sells implants and gym memberships. Youll find someone who loves you for you. Your Ex was a Asshole.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): Your ex is such a JERK!!! I'm glad you are no longer dating him and It's unfortunate he left you with these issues to deal with. I don't have large breasts either so I feel for you about some of the insecurities you have! Hopefully what I've learned about my breast size can help you too. The first guy I dated claimed he loved my body the way it was, but also said that I didn't look like a "swimsuit model." That really got to me especially since breast size was something out of my control. It's unfortunate how insensitive guys can be sometimes, I would never say anything negative about penis size to him or any other guy for that matter.
On the plus side, I learned from my dating experience with my first boyfriend that there are so many other guys who truly love smaller boobs and who have loved me just the way I am. My last relationship was MUCH healthier in that regard and because of that we left on good terms and he is still my best friend (we broke up because we didn't want to do long distance.)
To be honest though, some days I am still self conscious about my boobs and I think it is because of my first relationship, but MOST days I look on the bright side of having smaller breasts. I don't know about you, but I have very sensitive breasts which most people with larger breasts don't have (something I'd never want to give up!) Also, many girls with larger breasts get bad back problems. Furthermore, I've also learned that the grass is always greener on the other side - for as many girls that are insecure about having small breasts there are just as many who are insecure about having larger breasts. I've also come to find that being thin with smaller breasts still attracts plenty of guys and I look to asset my other features that I am confident in (like hair and eyes.. w/e works for you!) I'd prefer a guy looking into my eyes than at my boobs and it's nice to know that a guy won't ever love me just for my boobs!
I've honestly thought about breast implants but the reality is I don't want to attract another guy like my first boyfriend, I want a guy who genuinely loves me just the way I am and who is mentally stable. Trust me, don't ever date a guy again who tries to change anything about your body, that is your sign to get out of the relationship asap! (And call him a jerk on his way out the door!) I know you can find someone who will make you feel good about yourself!
As much as guys can play a major factor in how we feel about our bodies, at the end of the day your confidence starts with you. I've found that being confident about my body has attracted more guys into my life than ever before! Confidence is sexier to guys than bog boobs, trust me!! (or go ask one yourself!) Learn to love your breasts and your body, you're beautiful just the way are and when you believe it any guy will too! Yeah, guys are REALLY that simple! :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): It's not you with the problem -- He has self-image problems that he transfers to you. Find a more sensitive companion.
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male
reader, Gangsta204069  +, writes (1 September 2010):
I agree with the first person who anserd.
I also think that all men are not the same.Some like small some like medium and some idiots like large.( I'm not saying this to make you feel better but I like small.)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): I really feel for you! I've been in exactly the same situation - I split up with my controlling ex a little over 2 years ago. He said all those same things to me about my small boobs and bigger ones being better. In the end I finally got him to admit that all those things he said was just another way to control me. By putting you down and making you feel bad about yourself, your ex could feel better about himself and feel more confident that you would never leave him, because how would you ever find such a great guy willing to sacrifice and be with you and your small breasts?! Seriously, that is what he was doing.
Not all men are the same, just like not all women are. After I split up with that guy I dated a lovely guy for a year or so who very obviously loved my small boobs. He liked to play with my nipples and said that the nipples on small boobs are much more sensitive than on bigger ones. He also liked how perky they were and said how bigger ones sag more as women get older. Most guys I know can't stand fake ones, partly for how they feel and partly because of the implications about a woman's lack of self confidence in feeling like she needs them.
I still feel insecure about mine sometimes, though my current boyfriend put an end to that recently by (slightly drunkenly) telling a friend of ours how awesome my boobs are. He has also never looked at me with more admiration as when I said I didn't care if I had big or small boobs or hips, put on or lost weight, as long as I was still healthy. So what I'm trying to say is I think the best thing you can do is forget your ex, he was one man who so desperately didn't want to lose you that he tried to control you and put you down. That was a horrible experience for you but as long as you look out for warning signs of that behaviour in future, then you'll be a stronger woman for it. Not all men are like that and not all men only like big boobs - some don't care about size and some prefer small. Good luck and enjoy the freedom of being in control of yourself again!!
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male
reader, jkirk +, writes (1 September 2010):
Your ex is an idiot and in no way speaks for all men. I don't like large breasts at all. Small boobs on a thing girl turn me on. All men are different but after High School most of us grow up and realize that big boobs just mean more sag as you get older. Teen boys are infatuated with boobs because we don't have them and are just mesmerized by them. Given time we realize little boobs are much cuter and every bit as exciting. Let me ask you this do all women like 8" dicks? I'll answer for you NO some like it big some like it small and most prefer the average. God gave you what he gave you, be comfortable with yourself and you will be much happier.
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female
reader, KayK87 +, writes (1 September 2010):
I totally agree with Caringguy. Not all guys are like that, I have small boobs and I love the fact that I don't have Large boobs. You should be glad you have smaller boobs, all my friends have large boobs and constantly complain about them. Don't get me wrong a lot of guys like big boobs, but just as many would rather have a girl with smaller boobs. Don't let one guy ruin the way you feel about your body. Its your body and its what you are suppose to have, you are perfect just as you are. It took me a long time to realize that about myself, don't let anyone judge you. If you were meant to have large boobs you would, but you and I both don't need large boobs to make anyone else happy. Just remember your perfect just as you are.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 September 2010):
The worst, worst thing a woman can do is be unhappy with herself and her body. Men aren't quite as easy to understand as you've made out in terms of 'all of us being alike'. We're not. We're all different. You, sadly, went out with a moron. And he's now destroyed your confidence for nothing. And to then read articles that generalize the male population was another blow to your confidence.
Men are far too often assumed to be sex crazed creatures who are after the same type of woman. Now while it is true that we are sex crazed, you can be assured that no man will fancy the same thing.
Take me. I don't really have a body type in a woman that I go for. I've fancied thin girls, curvy girls, tall girls, short girls, girls with blond hair, red hair etc etc.
Take other men. If every man liked the same thing, the human race would have ended long ago. We're not as simple as it seems.
You will find a guy who will love you as you are. But you need to work on your confidence, because the one thing that good men universally find difficult to deal with is a woman with low confidence. If that means counselling, then it means counselling. If you're not happy with yourself, Mr Right will get scared and run. Work on yourself, understand that every guy has his own idea of what he wants and you'll find the right guy. But don't think we're all the same and want the same thing. We don't.
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