A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my boyfriend for 5 years and everything was going good until we stopped having sex its become like once a week but even then its not amazing. So i went out to a club and met a fella i gave him my number and we have been texting and emailing, i met up with him yesterday, there was a group of us we didnt kiss or anything but i fancy him so bad, and now all i can think about is sex with this new guy! Im so confused about this. The new guy doesnt know i have a bf either! Im just so confused what to do next :(
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male
reader, Guitarist +, writes (2 May 2009):
 If you're going to end it with your boyfriend, please tell him the truth. theres nothing worse than being lied to.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMe and the new guy met on tue, we didnt talk about sex we wasnt touchly feely or even kiss....the attraction was there, but he doesnt know i have a boyfriend and didnt try it on with me, so he doesnt know im sexually frustrated as i didnt want him to think i was a one night slag. But my boyfriend has said he is going to try more...but im just going off the idea of him which is not fair just becoz this new man has come along and infected my brain!
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A
male
reader, mytwocents  +, writes (30 April 2009):
 You're just bottled up, you poor thing. This is one of those things that crosses gender lines. I'm currently in a situation that's off-and-on like yours. And, I know, it's incredibly frustrating. At times, I felt so crazed that I would have killed to meet a person that was in a similarly frustrating situation, just to "work it out" together. It messes with you.
First, I would try to realize that your "feelings" for this new guy are mostly (if not entirely) grounded in frustrated horniness (randy-ness in the UK) and disatisfaction. You can't trust yourself in that state. Your judgement is impaired. It's like when you're starving hungry. Everything smells and looks better than it is. It may not seem like it, but it is. And while that's totally understandable, it probably means this new dude isn't a can't-miss-kind-of-guy you shouldn't pass up.
If you want to do the honorable thing, talk it out with the current guy and try to improve the dried-out situation. Say that you'd like to "spice it up" or "switch things up" or whatever language you use. Maybe it'll snap him out of whatever sexual funk he's in. Being honorable can also mean breaking it off with him if you know things aren't going to improve, and then being free to work that other lucky bastard over till you're both ragged. Or, you can be dishonorable. Quench your thirst with this new guy and keep your old dude. Just know, you may pay royally for that kind of behavior. That kind of stuff tends to comes around sooner or later.
Please let me (us) know how it goes.
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A
male
reader, Neboraic +, writes (29 April 2009):
Let the boyfriend know and think about ending it. But bare in mind, this new guy may not be around long.
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A
female
reader, Pandaholic123 +, writes (29 April 2009):
 Well my dear,
Some love doesn't last forever. Which isn't a very great thing...but it happens, it sounds like you either need to figure out some new things in your sex life to save the original relationship or do something about this thing you got going on before someone gets hurt and you end up without both of them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): It sounds like you're totally unsatisfied with your boyfriend, so why not do the decent thing? End it with him so that he can get on with his life and then you're free to have sex with whoever you please and whoever is willing.
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