A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't want criticism because I feel bad enough for what I've done. Just a simple question. If you were almost at the point of having an affair with a married man because he seemed just wonderful and made you feel wonderful too but then mutually coolled it off because there was no chance he would leave his wife and in fact they were trying to start a family and then you found out he was having an affair with someone that he continually claimed he didn't like, would you confront him about it, just forget about it completely or what? Yes this happened to me after this man and I became good friends and got stupidly attracted to one another. Unfortunately I still have to see him as he is a regular client at work. He's in at least twice a week and I can't avoid him completely. The woman he is having an affair with works for my company. I'm pretty angry that they've made their affair obvious to me but he's never said anything directly like sorry. What a bastard!
View related questions:
affair, at work, married man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011): Honour amongst thieves???
Yes sour grapes on your side and hurt feelings at the same time.
Imagine him sleeping with 2 of you at your work! Perhaps u took too long to have sex with him and the other woman beat u to it. Whatever the reason, you actually did not become his victim. You have had a lucky escape, u just don't know it yet.
And yes feel sorry for his wife. She is planning a baby with the cheater , so yes tell her. Rat him out. You will get your revenge and will also spare his wife as well.
Next time, stay away from married men. Cheaters are just not worth it.
LoveGirl
A
female
reader, hpoco  +, writes (19 February 2011):
 He sounds like an absolute mess. Count yourself lucky that things never went further. Make some sarcastic remarks about their dalliances if it makes you feel better, but largely ignore their behavior. She won't be happy for long...
...............................
A
male
reader, epicureansage  +, writes (19 February 2011):
I agree with "the walkin dude" - your indignation here is not AT ALL "moral" - it is SOUR GRAPES! Knock it off, butt out and consider yourself fortunate. ANY move against him now will just undermine any claim of conscience that you "chose" to stay away from this sleeze you were/are infatuated with. "Buy a mirror" - it might keep you away from mischief like this in the future. Check those motives. People love re-writing their own pasts.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): "bastard"? I would say more like a flake, an air head, a little boy? I'm sorry your feelings were hurt because you were "good friends".
Count your blessings / thank your lucky stars you two didn't have sex.
Maybe the next time you see him you could giggle a little to yourself and let him see you do it. If he asks what's so funny (and you know he will) maybe say something like "I was talking to someone and she said you were small". Then walk away having had the last laugh. Whatever you do keep the relationship strictly business and try not to giggle too much .)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): Just stay out of it. Yes this guy is a bastard but you can't hold the moral high ground here either. I don't think it's the fact he's cheating on his wife that is bothering you. What's bothering you is he chose this woman and you're jealous.
...............................
A
female
reader, MissVee  +, writes (19 February 2011):
At the end of the day, you have no right to comment on who he chooses to share his bed with, whether or not you consider his decision to be moral. It is his life, not yours. Sometimes it's hard to take the upper road, but it's always well worth it!
There's no point dwelling on what has proven to be a negative part of your life. Instead, become excited about all the opportunities that are now available seeing as this guy is no longer weighing you down!
...............................
A
male
reader, Kilcardy  +, writes (19 February 2011):
You should thank the woman at your company. This guy is now her problem, not yours. Learn from this. It is always...always...a losing game to get involved with a MM. You will always end up getting screwed on so many levels doing that sort of thing. It's just not worth it. In due time, the woman at your company will be an emotional mess for having gone down this path with this cheater. It's just a matter of time. In the meantime, keep your side of the street clean. Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): "I'm pretty angry that they've made their affair obvious to me but he's never said anything directly like sorry. What a bastard! "
This guy is a TOTAL creep- why would you expect him to say sorry?
This is a lesson not to get involved in this type of thing- don't interfere in people's marriages or relationships. Find someone who is available to you from the start.
...............................
A
female
reader, bernergirl +, writes (19 February 2011):
 I would tell. I would tell his wife, his colleagues and everyone else he knew. Cheaters like to keep everything secret. So the best thing you can do is to out them. They are only hurtful when they are keeping secrets. They hurt others, they hurt themselves, and I would tell before he can hurt a family or kids. I also look at it like this...the only safe sex is no sex but let's be realistic...abstinence is not very likely. But he is obviously having unprotected sex (if he is starting a family) with one if not more women. AIDS is still out there...are they close to a vaccine...yes they are hopeful! Are there treatments that can extend and help the quality of your life...yes but as of today AIDS is still 100% fatal. So he is playing russian roulette with one, two or more people.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): Be grateful, you had a lucky escape. It wouldn't what you say or do, he wouldn't care, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he got to you.
...............................
|
