A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am writing this on behalf of my Dad, as none of us are too sure what to do any more. About a year ago, a man in his mid twenties moved in next door to my Mum and Dad. Due to his age, my Dad instantly started worrying that this man was going to be having lots of parties and was going to disturb him regularly. We told him not to jump to conclusions and to wait and see what happened, but instead he approached his new neighbour and told him his concerns. I do not agree he should have done this, as it caused tension between them right from the beginning, but my Dad is difficult and stubborn at times and sometimes there is no reasoning with him. Since then though, this young man has proved my Dad right. He has late parties every weekend where groups of them sing and play loud music until 5 or 6am. They also smoke a lot of cannabis in the back garden and are often extremely drunk and rowdy. I know some of you might say this is regular behaviour for a lot of youngsters, but when living in a terraced house it is anti-social and is really stressing my Dad out which is in turn upsetting my disabled Mum too. His neighbour also runs a music lesson business from his home, so cars are regularly parked outside my Dad's house and the lessons are noisy and go on until 9pm (we have heard these when visiting). We have all tried to speak to the young man several times since he moved in about all of these issues, but he thinks we 'have it in for him' and is extremely rude and hostile towards us when we try. It came to a head last week after my Dad knocked on the wall during a particularly loud drum lesson. The young man went round to my Dad's house and started banging on the door and swearing at him through the window and eventually threatening him. Both my Mum and Dad refused to answer the door and were left pretty shaken up by how aggressive he was. I am sure this probably stems from the way my Dad approached him at the beginning, and I did sympathise to a certain level as I know my Dad can be extremely trying at times, but threatening him is taking things way too far and I will not have him scared in his own home. We encouraged him to call the police who are now monitoring the noise levels coming from the house, but if anything this has made it worse as this man knows it was us that reported him. What can we do to help this situation before it gets any more out of hand? I know my Dad is not blameless here by any means, but neither is the neighbour and I don't see any of them backing down any time soon. My Dad is pretending he is tough about this but it is really having an affect on him and his blood pressure levels and I am starting to get worried for his health. I should also point out that my parents moving out is not an option as my Mum and Dad own their house and the area is now run down meaning their home is not worth much any more - not enough to buy somewhere else anyway. Also, the neighbour rents off his parents who do not live in the UK so we cannot speak to them either.
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male
reader, pschitzo n not  +, writes (26 January 2013):
if canabis is illegal there then call the police to your perents home for an apparent prowler, have them walk the property to ensure safety, also mention the problem next door , do this while they party and toke up.If cannabis is legal then call on the prowler (party out of hand) every time they party they'll move. I know, I've been the loud partier n pot smoker, not anymore but we quit being loud and advertising pothead central, got bored and moved to the country and we had a better time mudd boggin getting drunk.I'm a family man now so I complain. Now I know how it felt for the neighbors in the past.
A
female
reader, agonyauntsanonymous +, writes (19 September 2012):
Sounds as if you have done all you can. The police monitoring the noise levels and parties is all you can really do. Arent there laws about playing loud music? In US. We can't play loud music after ten pm or we can get fined if they warn us and we continue. The Police would be very interested in confiscating the weed and perhaps pressing charges. Weed is illegal
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 September 2012):
 I don't think your Dad handled it wrong from the start. Much better nipping things in the bud that complaining later. I must say though that I used a different approach, I killed them with kindness. Having had in the past a nightmarish experience with young, loud , party-loving neighbours, when this spring I knew that the whoole floor upstairs had been rented to American college students, the very first day I planed on them like the Angel of Death while they were still unpacking. Extra nice,smiling, and bringing gifts of cakes and wine. I told them how delighted I was of having English speaking neighbours, and how I LOVE to be surrounded by young people , and I invited them to count on me if they needed to borrow sugar or flour or what not, or help navigating the maze of Italian bureaucracy.. oh and btw I wanted to warn them about the crazy acustics of this ancient palace, it's not their fault of course but every noise gets so amplified especially at night, so they had to be extra careful with
music and voices volume, and not slam doors or move furniture around, and if the girls could please remove their clattering heels and platforms when crossing my landing coming home late at night , that would be great, because we get up early in the morning and study and work, and we DO need our rest and a peaceful environment. Not that they were ever going to do anything on purpose to disrupt my quiet, perish the tought, but it was going to be such a pity if they were involuntarily going to bother me, because OF COURSE then I was going to have to call the Vigili Urbani ( metropolitan guards ) , the police, their landlord,my lawyer, their college, the Pope !, The US Ambassador in Italy ! , anything at all to protect my right to peace and quiet - have some more cake, darling, what about some cheese ? more wine ?
I have no doubt they think I am totally insane but... it worked. I haven't heard a pip in months.
I don't think your dad was out of order , unless he used threats or insults in approaching the new neighbour. Otherwise, it is useful, and legitimate I think, to tell politely the newcomer what's the law of the land in that particular building or block or compound, whether is written regulations or common consensus and usage. And I don't think he rubbed a nice guy the wrong way, unluckily the guy was already a jerk and a lout , and a bully.
Tell your dad not to get involved in person, to avoid any contacts , or verbal confrontations, and to be super polite if they meet- but also tell him to patiently stick to his guns. To get the police involved, the municipality, any pertaining authority- and to keep pestering them ( often they are reluctant to enforce the laws literally about these issues ) until he gets results . Kudoos to him for resisting the invasion of his privacy and the attack to his quality of life. If all the neighbors had put up some fight against rowdy, prevaricating tenants,- maybe the area would not be so run down now and would have not lost commercial value.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (19 September 2012):
 You need to contact the local council environmental health department.
In years gone by there wasn't a lot you could do about noisy neighbours but now there are laws to protect people and everyone has a right to live in their home in peace.
http://www.environmentlaw.org.uk/rte.asp?id=76
This is a pretty good webpage that may point you in the right direction.
Even if the house is privately rented, he must pay council tax so must abide by local environmental laws.
Try to record any excessive noise and keep a journal of disturbances. There isn't much you can do about people parking outside the house unless they are in a designated disabled bay or blocking a person from leaving their private driveway...but some compromise should be made about the noise and having drumming noise is unnaceptable (most people confine this to a sound proofed garage).
If you have evidence that there is drug use on the premises, you should inform the police.
I really feel for your dad, it's hard to ignore when someone is being unreasonably noisy and it's very stressful to live with but the only real way to change things is to take a legal route and force the changes.
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