A
female
age
36-40,
*ailey09
writes:I have been on and off dating this guy for about a year. When we started dating I was not 100% on board-- hence we were off and on. I was the reason we did not ever end up staying together long before because I could not decide what I want. Truth be told, it was a hard decision to make to be with him because we would be an interracial couple which is a big deal where I live. My question is this, it was obviously a difficult adjustment deciding that he is who I want to be with, but now that I am ready-- he is not. He has pulled back. Honestly, he hasn't been acting like the guy I have know. Part of this might be the fact that he is now unsure of what he wants. I guess I can't blame him, but what do I do? Do I wait this out and see if he gets back to his old self-- the one I fell in love with?? Or does it seem like too much water has gone under the bridge? I just worry that other things we have to deal with (him being in school, me being a working professional. the interracial thing. hurt feelings) might be too much with everything. Any opinions?
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female
reader, bailey09 +, writes (25 March 2009):
bailey09 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, EmilyAnswers. You are right, I just needed to hear it from someone else. I need to just give him some time-- He has been treating me differently for about 4 months of the year (after me saying I wasn't ready). I will give it a little more time, but 4 months is plenty of time. I have been cooking us dinner and taking us out to dinner a few times. I have told him I am sorry for hurting him before, etc. I have done all I can, and if after all that + 4 months, he and I are going to have to either jump together or run apart. I just hope he didn't care about me before because of the chase =\
Time will tell... Thanks again! =)
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (25 March 2009):
To be fair, it's no wonder he's hurt. If he loved you and was willing to give it a go and you ummed and ahhhed over whether he'd be worth the hassle then he's going to feel a bit rejected.
Even if you have finally said "Oh go on then!" it's still not going to feel very nice to him.
So make it up to him a bit. Take him out for a meal, buy him something nice, be romantic. Show him why he wanted to be with you and how great it could be if he forgives you. Cut him some slack and give it a month to improve. If the attitude is not gone by then, then have words about it.
Good Luck!! xx
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