A
female
age
30-35,
*ebeccaa
writes:Hello, i need some advice fast.Where to start. A boy who's family and my family are very close to moved away a few years ago i saw the boy when i was 7 and so was he, then recently they moved back to our town he moved to our school i was the only person he knew. Then after a while he told me he liked me i wasn't all that keen on him at first but he begged me for ages to give him a chance so i did then about a week later, me and my friends sensed some flirting going on between him and one of my other friends (who's boyfriend was one of his friends) so that night i went onto my friends facebook to see if i could spot anything in the messages not expecting anything much then i was shocked to find messages saying "lets fuck" and loads of kisses and flirty faces and something like "dont you think im sexy lol" "i said your sexy so meet me at ..." then i confronted them both about it they both said they were only 'joking'we all had a big argument about it then it all blew over i dumped my boyfriend of a week, then he told me he was sorry i told him i didnt want to know anymore.Then after about another 2 weeks of him begging i took him back, i told him he had make me trust him again, also i have had a realy bad past with relationships and he knew that after that happend with my friend he said he was so sorry nothing like that would ever happen again, he hates my friend now dont know why but he does he also said he only did it because i kept rejecting him, he also said if it made me trust him more i could have his password facebook password so he gave me it and i gave him mine.Anyway weve been in a relationship for 3 months now had few arguments which are quite stressful so i check his messages alot then today i was looking through them and i found some that was asking this girl to come kiss him and she said the same to him, i asked him about it and again he said he was just messing and he didnt mean it he has me why would he need somone else.. but then if he has me and hes so happy with me like he says he is why does he do that?What do i do now? I thought i could trust him, hes not only like my boyfriend he's also like somone i can turn to and talk to he understands me, but i realy thought he ment it when he said he was sorry the first time then he did it again. I dont want to be hurt again so if i am going to get hurt by him in the future i want to leave him right now, but i dont know what to do what is best? Please help thankyou
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 December 2011):
 OP, you really like the guy so you have trouble letting him go and I don't blame you, it's hard, but, if you ask should I trust him, the logic answer is : no.
Once it's a mistake, two it's a pattern. He screws up once,you forgive him and take him back, he promises he won't do it anymore- then what happens ? That he does it again,gets caught again and gives you the same excuse as before : " we were just joking ".
Perhaps so ( I doubt it )- still he knows perfectly that it's a kind of joke you don't accept, and that the condition to be back with you was to not repeat these jokes-
and he up and does it again ?...
So,no, he's not someone you can trust because he does not keep his word.
A
female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (23 December 2011):
Rebeccaa is verified as being by the original poster of the question I also forgot to add that I went that the day I found these other messages to this girl I went Christmas shopping with him and I was looking at his phone because I was getting the same one for christmas and then I clicked on Facebook, and je was looking to see what I was doing and saying don't go on that one, anyways I gave it back and I thought I'll had a look when I got home so I did then that's when I saw them. He said I'm over reacting because of my past so then I asked him so it would be ok of I asked Somone to kiss me and he said no.
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A
female
reader, bluecow +, writes (23 December 2011):
 regardless of your age...
WHY did you think you could trust him?
You caught him and a (not much of a) friend sexting.... and you took him back.
You then dont trust him at all as you keep snooping and checking his messages... and you catch him again.
Sorry, but of course you cant trust him, he has betrayed your trust and you have betrayed his privacy. You two really shouldnt be together.
xx
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