A
male
age
30-35,
*B.
writes:By all of the people I know I am considered to be a really funny guy and really talkative person who is very confident. Which around people I know I am but when meeting new people despite usually trying to be talkative I let nerves get the better of me.My conversation turns boring and repetitive. I know I am just a bit of a shy guy and while I am still young I am going to be more nervous than older people. So I would just wandered if some of you more confident people who go around care free all the time... How do you do it?How can I be more relaxed and my normal self around new people. This is around both genders but as usual mainly girls.I ask because me and a friend are going on a night out with 4 girls for the first time in a few days and I don't want to get all nervous and shy like I sometimes do.Any help is appreciated. Merry Christmas everyone.
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male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (23 December 2011):
Well first off everyone is usually somewhat nervous when meeting someone new, but the fact that you at least try to have conversations with them shows a lot, since most just avoid trying to get to know them altogether.But overall, here are a few things that help:1. Know what you want to talk about. For instance if you know you'll be meeting friends at a sports game, make sure you know at least enough to hold a conversation; do a little research before hand and you'll feel better talking about topics that may come up. When you're meeting new people and there is no particular topic associated with meeting them, make sure to become familiar with typical conversation starters. Do a quick google search of conversation topics or good questions to ask someone you just met. Confidence comes from knowing what you want to say before you say it, so come prepared.2. Dress nice. I'm not saying you need to wear a tux every day in hopes that you'll meet someone new and impress them, but dress in a way that makes you feel good. It takes a special sort of person to be confident while wearing sweatpants and a dirty tee. You'll feel a lot better about yourself if you're wearing something that says something about your individuality while still appearing somewhat stylish. Basically, dress comfortable, but smooth. You'll feel both comfortable and smooth.3. This goes with number 1, but learn new things. Read about current events, research hot topics, and learn to be well versed about what is going on in the world. You'll be surprised how easy it is to hold a conversation when talking with a like minded individual.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (23 December 2011):
 When we feel shy most of our attention is directed inward, to ourselves (SELF conscious, INTROverted). When we feel confident and OUTgoing, most of our attention is directed outward.
When you're with friends, you're not spending most of your time wondering if you look ugly or stupid. You're making THEM laugh or listening to THEM talk.
It takes practice, but you can gradually learn to overcome shyness. That said, you don't have to be the life of the party everywhere you go. Being part of your inner circle is a priviledge and you're allowed to be different with those closest to you.
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