A
female
 ,
*una~
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating seriously for 3 years. We are both in our mid 20s. He is now living in different city because of work. He would like to buy a property so I can move up to his city about 1/2 year later (when my work gets organize). I'm paying half of the down payment and he is wondering if I want my name to the place. Good side is, it's 1/2 mine. It'll be easier for my boyfriend to get the mortgage. Bad side is, I have to go up and sign paper with him. (take time off work,etc). Also, if he ever runs away, they will be after me. I truly trust him and I do not think he will screw me over. What is your advice on this matter. Should I get my name on the property or should I just lend the money to my boyfriend personally and have him deal with all the paperwork.
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female
reader, Gena Bullock  +, writes (3 April 2008):
 Yuna,
How are things turning out in the mortgage world???
Gena
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 March 2008):
 Never trust anyone when it comes to money.
Today, everything is fine but you will not know what will happen in the future.
Today's friends can be tomorrow's enemies.
Better to be prudent than to be foolish.
We have heard of lending monies but having trouble claiming back.
Legal or otherwise , lending money is not a good option ,no matter who that person is.
It is a mine field!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): In the USA you have to be on the deed if you are on the mortgage. Fact. Ask a title insurance agent/attorney.
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A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (28 March 2008):
The two of you could do this together and just have a notary sign it.
Agree to helping him, show that you paid half and signed it and visa versa.
In the event of his death or visa versa, who's getting what.
That type of thing....I am having to do this with an auto he purchased for me recently. LIke last week, so we put my name on the title too, in case of his death or visa versa.
You gotta look out for one another, that's all.
Gena
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A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (28 March 2008):
If you are going to commit to this relationship, I suggest legal paperwork to cover your butt, Missy.
My BF wanted me to sign with him on his mtg (he just divorced) and I wouldn't because my name isn't on the deed.
(another long story with a good ending though)
Do both, so you have a say-so in the matter. Make sure you can pay the mtg pymts by yourself if he reniges...if you can't and he disappears, then sell the place and keep the dough. Just remember too, we are in a recession...things in real estate are bad right now. I'd reconsider...but without paperwork to back you, don't sell yourself short.
Gena
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): I am the poster below who is in the real estate settlement business. If you want to be protected go to a real estate attorney, not just any attorney. Tell him/her the situation and ask for an agreement regarding the ownership, future sale, taxes, maintenance, utilities, who is to pay for what should one of you not be living there, ect. Most importantly have him /her educate you on the different ways you can hold title. Go to an attorney who deals in residential real estate and has been around awhile. This should not be more than a few hundred dollars (well spent) ask ahead of time what he/she charges.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (28 March 2008):
 I would never put my money into a property without having my name on the property. I think that it would protect you more than hurt you.
Don't co-sign on any mortgage or loan unless you are listed as an owner as well.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 March 2008):
 Hi again Yuna,
Didn't you just post on your boyfriend not wanting you to take ballroom dancing with your friend? I'm beginning to be concerned about the lack of trust on both your parts...
Tish
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 March 2008):
Tell him that your current job is so busy and time consuming that you need to have someone to do the paperwork for you, just to make sure the i's are dotted and the t's are crossed; don't even say to him you don't trust him. "I'm so busy right now and I don't know how to read the legal documents, I have a friend who is willing to help me with this. I know this will make the whole thing easier for us in the long run. I know you won't mind having someone help me with this..." or words to that effect.
If you are here questioning the decision, then maybe there might be something more to the question?
The anonymous poster has some very good points to consider before you commit a lot of money to this.
I know that he is your boyfriend and you trust him, but. There is always the 'but' problem. What if things don't work out for your relationship? Either one of you could decide to split up and then your legal standing with regard to the property could be in question.
Just tell him that you love him and want to help him with the purchase, but that you've heard so many horror stories about problems with this that you just need a little tiny bit of legal help to make sure both of your interests are protected. No big deal, and just knowing that all the i's are dotted and the t's crossed will make you feel so much more comfortable....
I know, it's tricky, but.... either you are willing to completely trust him (has he asked you to marry him?) (has he made a will in your favor?) (does he have any children or exes who have a claim on him?) or perhaps lose the money you're willing to give him for the purchase?
I'd hold out for the long term commitment sign--marriage isn't the end of the world you know. It's kind of a good thing!
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A
female
reader, Yuna~ +, writes (28 March 2008):
Yuna~ is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you all for your reply. I have another question now:
What kind of legal preparation should I be looking at but won't make my boyfriend feel I don't trust him? Afterall, I really do trust he won't do anything to screw me over.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): OK I am in the real estate settlement business and my advice is you MUST be on the deed to the property if you are to be on the mortgage. Do NOT agree to lend money that is not secured by your legal interest in the property. Your name on a mortgage does not make the property half yours, your name on the deed or title to the property does. That deed or title to the property may state what percent you own. The deed or title should also state in what capacity you hold ownership. By this I mean what happens to the property should one of you die? The deed/title should state either the survivor owns it 100% or the survivor owns it in conjunction with the deceased's heirs.
I can not emphasize enough how often this does not work out. I really would advise you not get involved with this transaction in any capacity but you probably would not listen. So just be sure your interest is protected via your name on the deed. An attorney should draw up a co-ownership agreement regarding repairs, taxes, insurance, terms of the future sale of the home, ect.
You may think this is too businesslike an approach but this is the biggest purchase of your life and you are going to make it with someone that you don't have enough commitment to be married.
Seen it all to often.
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A
male
reader, Namatjira  +, writes (27 March 2008):
Get your name on the deeds, either as a co-owner, or as a secured loan. If as a co-owner then his mortgage company can come after you if you have co-signed the mortgage. If as a secured lender, then they cannot come after you and you have some protection for your money. You need your own legal advice on this, separate from his lawyer.
I lent my step daughter money towards the deposit for her house. If I had required regular repayments then it would have reduced her borrowing capacity so I had it structured so that it could be repaid early but was only required to be repaid on sale with no intermediate repayments. By doing it this way I was able to have my loan to her secured for a percentage of the house equity (8% actually) and when she sold it a couple of years later I got that percentage of the sale price which was actually more than I had loaned interest free but was still a fair deal. I do not know if this type of arrangement is possible where you live but perhaps you could ask your lawyer. That way it is easier to keep it apart from any emotional involvement with your boyfriend. Regardless of what you decide do keep it all in writing, signed and witnessed.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (27 March 2008):
 First, I hope the fact that if you're paying half the down payment means this is a lone and not a gift. And if this is the case you NEED written proof of this or you could seriously screw yourself in the long run.
Secondly, I think it would be a bad idea to put your name on the property. I've seen too many people get screwed over on just a lease on rental property and had to pay even after getting the boot from a roommate.
A mortgage is serious. Is he? Are you sure he doesn't just want you to sign away so it's easier for him to get the mortgage? Protect yourself, you've already agreed to put up money for him. Isn't that enough?
-Jmo
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 March 2008):
I think you should take some of the money you're willing to invest and go hire yourself a lawyer to look out after your interests. The attorney could handle most of the paperwork and could also write up an agreement for your boyfriend to sign to make sure the money part stays just business. Never sign anything without being sure of exactly where you stand.
Don't do anything without some legal advice. Good luck.
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