A
female
age
30-35,
* might be a girl but i can help
writes:Hey everyone, I don't know what to do. I have a problem. I love my boyfriend very much and he says he loves me and wants to marry me. We have been together for six months but he has admitted that he cheated on his ex with a girl that he is meeting up with with some other friends as well, but he says that his friends will probably get him drunk and than that same girl will take advantage of him. He says he doesn't want to go because he knows there is a risk he might lose me, but I think he needs to see his mates. He hasn't seen them for a while as he has been working a lot but I just want to know should I let him go tonight and risk him get taken advantage of or be the horrible girlfriend and don't let him go because im worried about what he did to his ex. HELP.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): i'm just reading this and i'm LIKE OMG.. HE is telling you that He would actually Probably cheat on you if he drinks,,and you don't think there is a problem there. Oh hunny unless you intend to always be there with him, OR he never drinks again..your in for a very rough ride...I can't believe that he said that and you just let it slide like water off a ducks back..wow
A
female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x +, writes (1 April 2008):
 That's great! Glad to hear it. Hope things continue working out for you. ^_^
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A
female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help +, writes (1 April 2008):
i might be a girl but i can help is verified as being by the original poster of the question hey everyone thank you for helping me and you wil be happy to know he didn't go he said that he didn't want our relationship to get ruined because of his m8s giving him too much alchol more than he thought was in there, i have seen some of his friends and i don't like them very much and the girls sleep round a lot and enjoy taking adantage of drunk men who will never sleep with them sober, i do trust my boyfriend he made the choice on his own and he is always texting me and ringing me and as im doing my Alevels at the moment we see eachother three times a week so that i have enough time to do my school work and do my work in the pharmacy. i thank you again for all your help and i do know the many tricks of men and i have had many idots in my life including my dad, my mums exs have all been horrible so I have seen it all just wanted advise and i can see that from the way that i have said it makes it seem that he is just using for a way to get himself out of trouble if he does cheat and blame it on the drink but too be honest if he decided not to go because he doesn't trust his m8s and doesn't want to ruin our relationship isn't this good that he cares that much. he is always worried that he may lose me because he has behaviour problem where he can't always control (and before you say it no he isn't using this as a way out his parents have told me about it)anything, and he is really loving and my family like him.
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A
female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x +, writes (1 April 2008):
Why don't you ask to tag along? Drunk or not, cheating is still cheating. At least when you're there you can stop it. If he does cheat on you when he's drunk then it's still cheating. Would you honestly be able to forgive yourself if you were unable to stop him from cheating on you and didn't?
It's like what sugar_sugar said. He's old enough to stop himself being taken advantage of. You really should ask to tag along. You don't have to stay right next to him all night. Just so you make sure you can trust him.
Wishing you the best.
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): Go with him on his night out - he says that his mates will make him drunk and she will probably take advantage of that - well I suggest you go with! He is using the excuse of getting drunk to forewarn you that there is a possiblity of him cheating!
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A
female
reader, sugar_sugar  +, writes (1 April 2008):
 Your boyfriend is old enough to have been married, so it is safe to assume he is certainly old enough to ensure he is not taken advantage of!
I think it's a load of crap that this girl is going to take advantage of him. If anything happens it will be because he allowed it to happen. I am WELL versed in the effects of alcohol and I have never once kissed someone I didn't choose to kiss, regardless of how drunk I was.
He wants to see his mates - fair enough but if he cannot drink without being unfaithful then he shouldn't drink at all!!!
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A
female
reader, CharmmyKitty +, writes (1 April 2008):
 Trust isn't conditional. If he's really that worried then its his own responsibilty to either not go, or not drink. You can't really be telling him what he can or can't do, it's up to him. Whatever the outcome, it'll show you how dedicated he really is to your relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): If you're comfortable with him going, let him go. If you're not comfortable with the idea - and it sounds like you're not - tell him so and let him know the reasons why. Then let him decide for himself whether he will go or not, knowing how it makes you feel. His decision will tell you a lot about him and your relationship. If you tell him it makes you uncomfortable and he doesn't go, you're on the right track. If you tell him it makes you uncomfortable and he goes anyway, he's probably not someone you want to invest any more time in. If you decide for him, he'll only resent you for it. Tell him how you feel and leave the decision to him.
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