A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I used to date Mr. S. We dated because we fell hard in love. Half way through the relationship he started to feel trapped and distanced himself from me. I went insane over time and couldn't handle it. I tried to talk to him about it two days before Christmas but he broke up with me during the conversation. I started talking to Mr. D during all of this. He was a very good mutual friend of ours. Over the course of about three weeks he admitted to loving me and we started dating. I love him, too. I am happy with him.Just yesterday, Mr. S came knocking on my door wanting to talk. I agreed to talk to him for closure purposes. We never left the driveway. He spent the entire time apologizing and trying to get me back. All of it confused me so much. I started crying and I think I never stopped loving him. He tried to kiss me but I pushed him away and went back inside my house. I called up Mr. D and told him what happened (he knew I was talking to him) and his testosterone levels raised as he told me how many different ways he was going to kill Mr. S.I spent some six hours after that recovering from the day by crying on the couch and trying to figure out my thoughts and heart. I sent a text to Mr. S that said that I couldn't be with him because I am happy with Mr. D. Mr. S broke down and rushed over and I comforted him until he calmed down. I still care about the man and don't want him hurt, after all. He kept touching me. Such as hugging me and snuggling his face into my shoulder. It was as if I was his last grasp on humanity. It was pathetic but meant something to me. He kissed me, but I pushed him away the second our lips touched. I told him that I had a boyfriend and that I wasn't going to cheat on him.Mr. S called bs on my relationship with Mr. D. He said we hadn't been dating near long enough for it to be worth it to give up a life with him for. Mr. D is extremely worried about me right now. He's worried I'm going to hurt myself.Everyone in my family hates Mr. S for the way things ended between us. They want me to pick Mr. D.Mr. S and I had something special for a short period. Something amazing. True love. I caught a glimpse of that again last night.But Mr. D is... safe. He can keep me comfortable and safe no problem. He takes care of me. He cares a lot about me. I really am his life.I love both of them. Very much, but in different ways. I'm not sure what to do. Do I stay with the man that can provide and make me comfortable and feel loved, or do I go with the man that used to be my reason for living- my air and happiness?Both men are deeply in love with me and both are convinced they need me and want to spend forever with me. I don't want to hurt either if them, but I know that's impossible.I'm highly considering breaking up with Mr. D and just go back to being his best friend. If he'll want that. I think I just want to be single for a while. Single and surrounded by friends. But I'm still scared of hurting him. Anyone? Please, I've never been so lost in my life.
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best friend, broke up, christmas, period, text, trapped Reply to this Question
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female
reader, cry +, writes (21 January 2011):
 WOW um i pick mr.d ..or go single its right there in your face. and have no contact with mr.s eww..well good luck. AK
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): Hey.
I don't think one can make a decision for you. Its your call after all. But I'd side with Mr. D ?
I mean. What you had with Mr.S sounds magical and more like instant and crazy attraction(not confined to only the physical aspect) but what you have with Mr. D is something that is going to stay forever, at least that's what I think :)
You don't want to commit a mistake like Mr.S did, by giving up what you have. And to trust him to not create a problem in future is not so advisable. I mean, he did once, it can jolly well happen again.
Mr.D might be very safe, but he was there with you in your bad times. And he seems like a stable person. Mr. S on the other hand saw his interest throughout. A wee bit selfish ?
Look at it in the long run. Do you see yourself happy and stable with S or D ? From where I see it, its definitely D.
But the Decision is obviously yours. Don't take it hastily. And most importantly, Do NOT regret your decision.
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