A
female
age
26-29,
*opelessromanticem
writes:At the beginning of my sophomore year of high school I met my best friend. I've never been closer with anyone in my life, she knows everything there is to know about me. She trusts me more than anyone, and I trust her. Soon after we became friends she introduced me to her boyfriend of a year. The three of us began hanging out nearly every weekend. I realized fast that her boyfriend and I had so so much in common. We agreed on everything, knew the same people, and had deep conversations she didn't understand. Lately he's gotten more and more obvious, long intense looks, a touch here and there. Small things. I realized yesterday that I am absolutely head over heels in love with him. (I have a boyfriend also. We've been together two years.) I think he has the same feelings. I know nothing would ever come of it. But I'd like to know. Should I talk to him about it? I need help!!!
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female
reader, hopelessromanticem +, writes (13 July 2011):
hopelessromanticem is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo, I told him. He swore never to tell her. He didn't really say if he had feelings back, or if he didn't. But I trust him. I feel a lot better now. I can finally breathe again.
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (12 July 2011):
 She's your best friend. Unless your friendship with her isn't important, please don't do this to her. She's been a good friend to you so put yourself in her shoes and see how you feel. Find someone that isn't taken.
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A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (12 July 2011):
 Girl!!! Back off. Put yourself in her shoes. This is a REALLY bad thing to do to someone. He would not be with her if he did not love her. Think!
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A
female
reader, Larissalover1  +, writes (12 July 2011):
 i agree with xoxolost. but keep in mind your best friend.... the EXACT same thing happened with me EX best friend and my boyfriend... EX is in capital for a reason... just think about it.
she never told me anything about it and it crushed me when i found out... that was last summer... and also remember to be thinking about your boyfriend too.
i hope i didnt bore you.
rissa.
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A
female
reader, svf  +, writes (12 July 2011):
 Try and think of your BEST friend, the one who understands you. Don't let your feelings of lust for HER guy destroy her self-esteem, as it will when she finds out that you have feelings for her guy. Yes, maybe he has feelings for you to. But it's not very nice behaviour.Here's a scenario:Think about how you would feel if you ruined the friendship with her for going out with her guy (not to mention breaking your own boyfriends heart as well). Just say that after a few months, your make friends with a new girl who becomes your new girlfriend. And say she ends up having feelings for your new boyfriend? Just say they both dump you and move on together... It wouldn't feel very nice, would it. You would have lost your new boyfriend, your old best friend, your ex-boyfriend, and for what? Nothing.And then the other thing you have to consider is the reactions of your school friends. Imagine that you are teased and bullied at school for betraying your best friend? These things have a way of causing a lot of grief to the innocent parties, and people at the end of the day always take the side of the wounded person/s.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2011): You may want to talk to him about it to get rid of the tension. Tread carefully if you choose that though because things could get reeaaaallly awkward if he doesn't feel the same and you misinterpreted his signals.
Another thing you could do is to just let it lie as you have a boyfriend and this is the boyfriend of your best friend after all.
Ultimately none of your decisions should be made rashly. You need to seriously think about all your options before doing anything.
Best of luck.
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