A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: So the first time I met this guy I though he was cute an it turned to liking him alot. Wr spent so much time at work and outside of work together. The first time we kissed I finishined crying because I dont do that with anyone, he said he was going to respect me. Even tough many were against it and my insticts to we keep seeing eachother. He told me what I wanted to hear and treated me like a princess. About a month after we kissed again in his car, then it kinda started go to the next level but it did not. I am still a virgin but I am so dissapointed at myself. What can i do? This incident keeps attacting my mind. He works with me and so I see him all the time but I just want to get away. I want the images to go away. The toughts of impurity to go. How can I do this? How can I help myself? I am a christian and this is a big sin. Please help.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2011): You are a human, whatever you have done can be forgiven.You are not impure either.However, you sound like you have been traumatized somehow, and you also sound like setup to be traumatized again by someone else who could easily take advantage of your low self esteem and your emotional crisis.If you have parents who are good, conscientious, and understanding, I'd suggest talking to them, or a brother or sister, or a friend.But, be careful who you talk to, especially if you are in a religious sect that is extremely strict. It can be used against you.God doesn't use things against you though, he/she/it (whatever you want to call God) doesn't need to do that, and is not so petty or malicious.Find a God of your own understanding in life, one that is loving and accepting of you as a human being, not a harsh, critical, and condemning God that would send you to eternal hell for a slip.I myself come from such a condemning sect of Christianity. My wife does not.My wife was raised in a terrible home, alcohol, drugs, sex abuse, wild and crazy youth, she's had sex with hundreds of men, used numerous recreational drugs, and became an alcoholic. But she wanted something better. We've been married a long time, and she is an angel of light in my life and that of our children. She calls me her "amazing grace" and told me that she didn't even know what love was till she met me. She believes that God, whatever that is, must have brought us together.I don't even believe in God...Go figure.
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