A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am currently struggling with a huge decision in both my career and love life. I currently live in Panama with the love of my life. We are young (19, 20) but we are both extremely happy with each other, have been together 3 years and we live together (hence, we know each other really well). However, it is coming time for me to start college, and since I am originally from the US, I have access to scholarships and university opportunities in the US that don't exist here in Panama. My boyfriend, however works and studies here, and although he would love to, doesnt have the funds to go with me and study in the states. I truly want the best for my future, and I know that studying in the US is a great opportunity that most people wouldn't pass up. However, I feel as though if I had to carry on a LDR (which we have already done for a year since we have been together) for 4 years while I am away at college, I would be truly unhappy without him. I love living in Panama, and I would be very content going to university here, but everyone knows that a US title is so much more prestigious. And plus, if something WERE to go wrong in our relationship, I want to have my options open. I really feel as though I am going to marry this man, but the reality of everything scares me. My family lives in the states, so again, if something were to go wrong... I would be all alone, struggling to get by by myself and living on my own, and I think I am too young to have to go through that. But I can't bring myself to the idea of being apart from my best friend for so long. So what is your opinion-- should I take a leap of faith or face reality?
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female
reader, AuntyMaur  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Go with your instinct - If it was me I would go back to the US. If your relationship is strong it will survive, it wont be easy stepping away but nothing good comes easy. You have a whole future ahead of you. There are no gaurantees with love but there is with education.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 I definitively opt for reality.
You are building your future now, and while , with all the best intentions and the fondest mutual feelings, you have absolutely no guarantee that your bf is gonna be in your future 10,20 years from now- you can be certain that YOU will be in your future. Therefore invest in yourself, your education, your career and play well the good cards thet life gave you.
If your love can survive this long separation, your bond will come out of it even stronger. If it cannot...maybe it was just not meant to be.
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A
male
reader, foolishsage +, writes (20 January 2011):
 This one is all your decision - but I can give you a little bit of a bright side to look at. A colleague of mine recently got married to a wonderful woman. They dated for perhaps 6 months to a year before their careers took them to different places for FOUR YEARS - over that time, they've managed a healthy long distance relationship and brought it together and are quite happy.
I feel like if you sacrificed the education that you feel that you really want to have that you may very well end up resenting that you gave that up - not saying that you would resent him, but you may be mad at yourself. Also, he may likely feel bad and that he was the reason for it - so, sacrificing something if it is VERY important to you isn't always the best way to go.
Be honest with yourself about how important that US education is before you make your final decision. Also consider, what about your career after college - then what do you plan to do and where would you like to live? What about him? Talk to him about it and find out where you both are at and what you both want from your careers after college. Do what you think is right for you - and while I admit, LD relationships are hard - I've seen it work to a very happy re-union.
Best of luck to you
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