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age
30-35,
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writes: Hey. Heres the story... I have a friend lets call her *K* and we have been really close for just over 4 years. In september we moved up to college, and she was doing a diploma and i was doing A-levels. We didnt see each other as often but we still talked and saw each other outside of college but then i started hearing things about her. People were calling her a slut because she had invited a guy from her course back to her house and they had sex. The worst thing was that she admitted it, and said it was just a bit of fun. She was 16 at the time. I cast this aside and considered it a mistake because she told me she regretted it. But then she quit college. She stopped texting and calling me and inviting me over when ever i called her she would either ignore my calls or say she was busy. I thought i had done something wrong. I then found out that she had a new boyfriend who was 24, i dont have a problem with age, but they went out for one week, then split up, about a day after she had another boyfriend, and this happend 4 times! She would wait a day after breaking up with someone then have a new boyfriend! Well i hadnt heard from her in 5 months, sometimes i would comment her on facebook, and one day i commented on one of her statuses. And then another girl said to me "oh just going away your so stuck up you think your little miss perfect why dont you F**K off!" It was just harsh. I am not stuck up in anyway i mean i have never been that way, and i spent most of my life being a nobody, i am not perfect in anyway, i know that and i dont think a lot of myself. I ignored this comment and cast it away. The *K* started emailing me saying that the reason we dont talk anymore is because of me, i didnt call her or get in contact! I TRIED SO HARD! ive cried so much over this, this girl meant the world to me. So i was in town the other day and i saw her, and she came over and acted completely normal with me! She hugged me and talked to me like normal! I didnt no what to do! Now she wants to be all pally again but im not sure whether to or not! I need help!!! xxxx
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male
reader, Boombadaboom  +, writes (22 January 2010):
 I'd forgive her, I'll never say it will be easy but it will be worth it. Forgive her but help her too. Get her out of the bad circle she's in. I don't know if she'll want to, but it'll just have to be great timing. Be there at the times she'll need it. Be patient and whenever you see your old friend back, make the most of it and try to become better friends. Try to be incredibly happy to be with her and what she is great for instead of picturing all the bad rumours and events. If she's the same old girl with you even still now then that means she still likes to be like that. The other things she does is just the worst of her. The way I picture your situation, I'd say build up your own life but leave an opening for the possibility of her and you ever being great again, just don't let her take the best of you, be great all by yourself. I might be entirely wrong too but who knows? :)
A
female
reader, Miss King !  +, writes (22 January 2010):
 She clearly has got in with a different circle of friends. I think it's important that you don't take these things personally making yourself upset and crying over it is so sad to hear, you sound like a genuine person who valued the friendship of this girl.
The fact that she was normal with you when you saw her suggests that she is acting in one way with one circle of friends and another way with her other friends. She could probably do with a good friend like you to be there for her, but remember, its not just her that's important, its you! Focussing all your attention on her needs is only depriving yourself of the good friend she should be to you aswell.
I would send her a text or email, asking to meet up and have a catch up, if she says yes then great! Meet her and see how things go, if she says no or doesnt reply just leave her. She cant expect people to run after her all the time, and if your willing to do that you will only get hurt a second time. Make sure you are ready for the rejection incase she doesnt want to see you. She's either your friend ALL the time or not your friend at all, she cant pick and choose its not fair on you.
Be brave, dont get upset over it, if shes your friend she should never give you a cause to cry. Good luck hun, hope things turn out okay! x x
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A
male
reader, Sal84  +, writes (22 January 2010):
 1stly do this small excercise..Slap Yourself hard whenever you hear u calling yourself a Nobody.
Nobody is a nobody in this world...every human being has a unique quality about him or herself.Even the most dyslexsic
(I dont care if this is a spelling mistake:-) of kids have gone on to become millionaires and later contributed to their societies in some special way of their own. Its a just a matter of time you discover this special quality about you. But bringing negative thoughts like the one you have posted about yourself will never allow you to go forward and discover that specialness in you.Every morning you wake up look in front of the mirror and say this sentence "I am much more than I appear to be, there is something special about me and I am going to discover it soon".Try to monitor your thoughts like a watchman standing on the gate and allow only Positive thoughts to enter your mind and refuse entry to thoughts that bring negativity.
Regarding the girl, she has her own issues and for now her idea of life, seems like just getting laid. With time she will realise the consequences of her actions. Let her be what she wants to, treat her like one of the guys and dont kiss upto her.Dont give direct answers to questions, be unpredictable because predictable is boring.It seems you were falling for her, but ask yourself this...do u need someone in your life that you can never trust.Will that ever give you peace of mind...and will you ever be able to concentrate on whatever it is you do if you keep thinking where and with whom your gf is while you are busy earning your daily bread.
Instead of working on her, try to work on bring Positivness in your life and when you master the art of doing this it will bring to you the things and the people who are right for you.Till then dont feel shy & write to me if you want Free guidance:-)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 January 2010):
When she saw you, she seemed happy to see you again. Your friend has clearly become a bit of a mess, so maybe she just needs a good friend like you in her life. You don't need to let her back all the way again, but she seems to like you, so it's probably still worth keeping friends with her. Just don't get involved with any of the people she is.
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