A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just don't understand why im single. When I was younger I was always over looked by girls as a potential date. Granted though I was skinny unkempt idiot back then but I was still a nice guy. Fast forward to today and alot has changed. 2 Years ago I finally decided that it was time for a change and signed up for a gym membership. I started to eat healthy and my body really changed for the better. Everyone complements my figure and people I graduated with cant believe its me. Im in college and have a good job. Im still a nice guy and am not a womanizer like I see all the guys my age. Everything I do seems like its never enough and that I will never be good enough for anyone. Why is it women look past me and get with all these other guys that have nothing going for them? Should I just become a womanizer so women will notice me more?
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female
reader, HippyChick  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 If you behave like that, the only woman you will get is a female version of a womanzier. They have low self esteem and are not nice. You shoiuld be yourself and not pander to women like that.
Talk to a woman and get to know her. Communication is the key. Talking always helps.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 Do you think women are attracted to womanizers?
First, sort out what sort of woman you are interested in. If you want one who can provide for herself, stand on her own two legs and has confidence, then you don't want to act like a womanizer. Because womanizers.. well, or bad boys for that matter (and now I don't mean the cool bad boys, but the actually shitty guys who cheat etc), I think they attract insecure women. They attract women who don't have much going for themselves, or at least can't see it. They seek men that treat them just the way they think they deserve to be treated. Also, if we go into the phycology of things, what sort of male role models they've had growing up determines a lot of what they are looking for today. If they had a father who was constantly unavailable, unable to provide for them, then psychologically you can say that these women will seek just as emotionally unavailable men, as a father substitute, that they try to win over and finally get the attention and love they didn't get while younger.
But that was way too deep, and not something you should do normally, analyze people and their childhoods that is. However, my point is that if you pretend to be one sort of man then you will attract one sort of woman.
The type of man you are now, I don't know you but I will bet you are shy, withdrawn, introvert? Well, you generally attract the same shy, introvert woman. And she's probably staring at you from the back of the class, or at the gym, wondering when you will ever notice her. Because she wont make a move, and you probably don't see her because you are busy staring at women who "pop", so to speak. We are many times often drawn to those who are loud, make a lot out of themselves, make a fuzz and a show of themselves, those who seek attention and yell for it. And that leaves us blind to those who are silent.
You can't get ALL women, but there are certainly some you have a good shot at it with. You just gotta find your area you know, find the types of girls that are attracted to you and that you are attracted to yourself. People are often attracted to those who are alike themselves. Imagine a female version of you and where she might be, then go find her.
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 a womaniser is a man who is never satisfied with what he's got. you sound like you could be a womaniser as you're not happy on your own and have been unsucessful with women it seems and you could well find that when you get one you will want to move on as soon as you see a prettier one. You have to learn to treat a person as you would like to be treated yourself. that way everyobody wins and a viable relationship is formed.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): The women you see getting with the womanizers are women with similar personalities to these men. Is that what you really want? An empty headed slut who will only break your heart and make you want to give up on women entirely? Or how does night after night of meaningless, emotionless sex sound? If you truly are a nice guy, then this would sound terrible to you. A nice guy trying to live a womanizer lifestyle will not be happy just as a womanizer trying to be a nice guy and settle down with one woman will not be happy. It's just not who he is, and he is not who you are.
Just remember this, if there's both womanizers and nice guys, then that means with women there's both sluts (female equivalents to womanizers), but there's also nice women (female equivalents to you.) Apparently, you are just looking in all the wrong places. Just as a lot of women are attracted to womanizers, (even sometimes the nice women because they believe they can change these guys), there are plenty of guys who are only attracted to slutty women and expect the women to change for them. It's not going to happen.
My advise, next time you see a woman who is a little more on the quiet side who is not wearing something trying to show off what she's got, approach her. Don't pass her up because you think she looks "plain." Remember, the women who look "hot" would also be plain if they didn't dress to impress, put on makeup, and spend all kinds of money and time fixing their hair and going tanning. Everyone looks plain when they wake up in the morning. And if you get in a serious enough relationship with a woman, you'll be waking up to her every morning. What would you rather have, a nice woman who doesn't go out of her way to attract attention to herself or a slutty woman who once you are with her will expect you to pay for all of her clothes, shoes, and beauty products only to go out and cheat on you?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): Don't do it.Guys like you are exactly what girls like me are trying to find, and it's scaring me that they're becoming rarer and rarer. Take everyone else's advice and also stay the way you are because I guarantee, in the long run, you won't regret it.
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A
female
reader, aunt earnest +, writes (5 November 2011):
 That depends on what kind of relationship you want. If you want a bunch of one night stands with easy, submissive women, then sure. Become a womanizer if that is the kind of woman you want. I am not judging! But you seem like a nice guy and if you want a meaningful relationship, just go out more, try to gain more confidence and talk to more women. Women are always drawn to confidence. It is the most attractive feature in a man, in my opinion. You could try being a "womanizer" for a while to see if you like it, but it is probably a pretty upsetting thing emotionally, and it could ruin your reputation. You have to decide this kind of thing for yourself.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 November 2011):
 If you get womens' attention on the basis of being a "womanizer" you will, ultimately, learn that THAT is not the kind of attention that you WANT from women.....Be yourself, continue with your life.... .and don't try to be someone who you AREN'T in an effort to attract women. By being yourself, and doing the things that YOU like, you will assuredly come in to contact with one or more women with whom you have things in-common.... and you (and she) will hit it off..... and who KNOWS where that will go???Good luck...
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