A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear agony aunts. I am 32 yo female and I have been in love with this guy for about 8 yrs now. I am a charming, caring, and loving person and I have shown him my cares in many ways. I mean my and his friends have also seen it. They have also said he cares about me as well. sometimes, they think we are moving out because we get on really well when we are together. He on the hand has only been my friend all this while.He is an amazing christian boy, who is a true gentleman, handsome, intelligent, rich..he just has it all and many friends( both boys and girls). I really like him but I am almost sure he will never think of me as a woman..he has never taken me out though he visits me rarely. I am in a different social class from him..I mean he has more fine friends.I am also disabled and though I have many positive attributes including my career position, but I can't stop feeling that he does not like me.What do you think he feels for me; love or sympathy?
View related questions:
christian, disabled Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, HippyChick  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 I think you should talk to him and tell him how you feel. You are getting nowhere waiting for him. Ask him out.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 I wonder why you have gone for 8 years without asking him out on a date? Make your move before another woman snatches him up.
It might be he's a very shy man...? I talked to a person once about this phenomena, where a man will be surrounded by friends, has the looks, the charm, and everything, and that all his friends that he surround himself with are really just a sign of him being insecure. That an insecure man will seek approval from as many people as possible, by being nice and great to them to make them like him, so he isn't left on his own.
If this is the case with him then he will not make a move on you, because he will think you will reject him and push him away and make him vulnerable.
I don't know if this description fits him, but if you've liked him for 8 years and you don't mention any reason why he can't be with you (hes not already married or seeing someone else) then I don't see a reason for why nothing has happened other than him being too shy to make a move. I mean, even if you and him don't end up married or in a long term relationship, usually when people like each other they try to find out if theres something more, through flirting and experimenting, and maybe a casual fling at least! So if he's been keeping a firm distance I am going to bet my money on him being too insecure. If he is insecure he's probably thinking YOU are way too good for him, so he better just back off...
Ask him out on a date.
...............................
A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (6 November 2011):
 Hi,
I also think you need to talk to him. You've known him for 8 years now, it's a very long time for you to be in this friendship without knowing if this could be more than just friends. I think is better to know the truth, it's not fair to you to be waiting for him. Life us too short....
Don't hold your feelings inside, let him know. I don't think it matters to him rather you have money, you shouldn't judge yourself being in different class. He's your friend for so long, I don't think he cares about that.
Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 You need to talk to him and express your feelings towards him, he deserves to know the truth. Am sure that he does care about you, but weather it is just as a friend or else a potential partner I don't know, he needs to answer that. Just be open and honest with him.
...............................
|
