A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i went on a first date with this girl, and we had a great time, she admitted it was a great time. She lives a little far away so we cant see each other a whole lot but we txt each other everyday and i make her laugh alot. but she told me after our first date that shes sorry but she is still hurt by her ex and thinks its unfair to date someone else while shes feeling this way, i respect that she told me this but im afraid if i keep on txting her all day waiting for her to be over her ex then i will forever be in the "Friends" bracket.Should i just stick to what im doing, txting her everyday, being there for her and throwing her compliments and waiting for her to be ready or should i set a date for us to get dinner and hang out after and just ask her to be my girl?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 January 2010):
You may not, as long as you're not too 'good' a friend. Text her every few days, instead of every day. Offer to meet up just for a coffee 'sometimes', like once in a few weeks. If you come on too fast, she'll likely back away, but if you're just there in her life enough, she might come around. And at least she was honest, so you know she's a decent girl.
A
female
reader, Miss King ! +, writes (22 January 2010):
 Lets face it, if mr or mrs right comes along, no matter whats happened in the past its not likely that you let them pass.
I think you need to say to her that you like her, you want to be more than friends and leave her to make the decision. If she says she can't make the decision or its too hard or whatever then leave her and move on. Life is too short to waste time on people who are willing to leave you hanging on and on and on. Thats not fair on you! You sound like a lovely guy, who genuinely likes this girl.
If she isnt ready or is too hurt by her ex then fine. But if she isnt able to give you a chance and see how it goes then she isnt worth worrying about. You need to find someone that cant wait for the next date!! Not one that is trying to keep you at a distance!
Best of luck, hope it works out ! xx
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (22 January 2010):
As far as the two options that you picked, you should go with neither. If you want to "play" this right, text her ocassionally (like once a week or every other week) just to let her know you're still interested, but it will make her guess a little bit since you've backed off (plus you're giving her space especially after what she told you). If you still text her everyday, definitely going to be put in the friends bracket; asking her to be your girl would only be setting yourself up for rejection...you probably want to do something like that when you're pretty sure she's made it clear that she does want a relationship with you. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Gridrebel +, writes (22 January 2010):
 Wow, what part of "not intersted" don't you understand? Don't keep texting her and waiting like a poor pitiful sap. Grow a pair and move on. There are 6 billion people on this planet. I'm pretty sure that you can find someone who actually wants to be with you on her own accord :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010): She told you at this point she's not ready. So definitely don't force her or ask her to be your girl anytime soon. She already warned you if you did it soon she would say no. That's why she told you shes still hurt.
So be her friend for now. Don't text her all day every day. But yes keep talking to her. Girls like a challenge. You have to let her miss you. Go out and do other things and when she texts you tell her, "hey, I gotta go out with some friends real quick but what time is a good time to call you back?" let her see you have other options.
And if this girl is at all interested in you this will speed up her recovery time trust me. Still be sweet, nice, funny, etc...but don't always be there waiting for her to call text or she will see you as a friend and nothing more...
After a some time passes, a couple of weeks if her old relationship wasn't too long or serious; set a date with her and tell her you are very interested in her but don't want to hang around waiting forever...
Good luck!
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