A
female
age
51-59,
*hinachik
writes:I met an awesome guy online last September and thought we were going to be freinds, but he had other ideas, as he wanted to meet and I was over the moon. However, the day before we were supposed to meet, I guess I got a weird vibe, as he still wouldn't tell me where we were supposed to meet and asked him bluntly- to which he cancelled. After that he still wrote to me, and still replied, but it wasn't how it was- I tried to arrange a few more times to meet, but he kept making excuses and it felt like he was withdrawing and I felt hurt. A couple of days before xmas, I sent him an email, and said he was spineless and had cold feet- to which he became mad and said he couldnt do long distance realtionships and he had met a local woman, which I don't think is true. He just broke things off- no explanation- nothing. I was hurt, but told him we could be friends.I left it for 3weeks, and then just wished him a happy new year but no reply. I then sent another 2 to ask him how he was, and if everything was ok but have had no reply.I really like him, and I know that he really liked me, so I want to know what has happened? Do I hang in and hope he will get back in touch, or just move on? Its so hard to know what to do. I really believe we had a real connection- was I wrong? Any advice would be appreciated thanks.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 January 2010):
 I agree - that "weird vibe" - I'm BETTING he was already in a relationship or even possibly married, looking for a fling.
Always listen to your gut instinct.
And stop contacting him. He is not interested no more, the more you keep trying the more you seem like a stalker.
And yes, HE IS SPINELESS.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010): I think your initial vibe was right and you should listen to that. There was something very wrong about him. It wasnt a relationship but a `penfriend` thing. So no real harm is done. Now for the boring bit!
Just make sure you see someone on a webcam and speak on the phone before meeting and pick a public place to meet. In daytime preferably and always tell someone close what you are doing, who with and where. I dated online and always met in daytime, in public and not before id checked out the guys full name, address, phone number and registration of his car. I passed the info to my sister before i went out. I did not however give out my own address. That was the agreement when i dated. If a guy didnt agree to that i wouldnt meet.
The reason.
My sister met a guy online that she really liked and she started seeing him before she had checked him out. She didnt even know his home address and he was very minimal with personal information. He just told her he was an ex soldier who was injured in Iraq. It turned out later that he had been thrown out of the army. His leg injury was due to an accident he caused throught reckless driving and he was banned from driving. He had stolen the car he took my sister out in AND he was awaiting court for GBH. He had beaten up his ex partner. He went to prison for it. The thought that my sister had been alone with a man who was violent and in a stolen car with him, really gave her a wake up call! There are a lot of people out there that you wouldnt normally give the time of day too for various reasons, meeting online exposes you to many of them, so be very sensible and always listen to your instincts xx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 January 2010):
I think move on. This is the sign of a man who is cheating on a wife who will be sat at home twiddling her thumbs. Cut all contact and move on.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (22 January 2010):
 I agree with Angzw. He is a fraudster and a conman. He didn't want to meet because he was likely to be caught out. It was nothing to do with you in any way. Forget about him totally and don't contact him in any way. More than likely he was married and looking for a bit of fun on the side and then it all got a bit too close for comfort. Put this incidence behind you and start looking for someone else. There are plenty out there who are nice and trustworthy,
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (22 January 2010):
This guy is probably not who he told you he was... Possibly he sent you pictures of someone else, or is married or was just lying about what he does for a living etc. This is obviously your first time dating online because most veterans have met a fraudster like he seems to be. My suggestion is you move on because you fell for an illusion. In future, only meet up with someone who either has a webcam, has a landline number or at least you know his work landline number or his work email address. Talking to someone on gmail who gives you a cell number and a couple of pictures is not good enough. A friend of mine once even had a guy make her fly to another country and she was stood up. When another friend met her date, he wasn't the Calvin Klein model she expected as seen on pics; he was 400lbs and even of a different race than she had expected. Just put this down to bad experience and forget about him.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (22 January 2010):
 I think you got the bad vibes for a reason, and you should listen to those vibes.
Move on.
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A
female
reader, SnowStorm51 +, writes (22 January 2010):
You haven't met in person, you got a weird vibe, and he has possibly met someone else. I would definitely say just move on; eventually you'll meet someone else and you'll pretty much forget that he even existed in the first place.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010): Just move on and forget about him. For some reason he changed his mind, fine. Just leave him to it, I don't think he's oging to get back in touch, and even if he does he's messed you around so why would you want him to?
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (22 January 2010):
 "However, the day before we were supposed to meet, I guess I got a weird vibe, as he still wouldn't tell me where we were supposed to meet and asked him bluntly- to which he cancelled." (Quote)
Your guts tell you that there is something strange about this guy, you don't know anything about him, and he seems reluctant to meet with you. You only know him from the internet, he could be a mad man, a rapist, a serial killer, he could have five wives... follow your gut and your vibes. This all sounds strange, you don't trust him and neither do I. Be glad that he ran and you got away from making a very big (and probably dangerous) mistake.
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A
female
reader, Gridrebel +, writes (22 January 2010):
 Rule #1. Always go with your gut feeling. Now then, you don't even have a relationship with this guy and you "really like him"?????? What do you like about him? How does he treat his mother? Does he want children? How many? What are his career goals? How would he handle a financial crisis? How is he at changing tires? Get it???? You don't even know him. Also, you have dis'd him by making him feel uncomfortable and so he cancelled your first date. You have sent him a nasty email. You can't take no for an answer. He's is probably running as fast as he can in the other direction. Look at yourself. Mature a bit more and move on.
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