A
female
age
26-29,
*ewokitty101
writes:ok im 13 and i want to have sex. i have a boyfriend, and we have been dating for about 4 months and i think i am ready he is 14 and is a freshman in high school i am still in middle school (8th grade).but my main question is, should i even though i am too young?and this will be my first time having sex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2008): More importantly, when you were crying, why didn't he stop?
Think about it - not only did you lose your virginity, but you are risking diseases, your reputation with other guys (if he blabs to his friends), pregnancy and possibly ruining the REST your life through pregnancy for someone who is willing to watch you cry from physical pain and continue on with his own pleasure at your expense.
I certainly hope that you've realized that at 13, you know very little and should listen to those that have been in the same position as you before you were even born.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): stupid, stupid girl; he definitely will expect it all the time now. When you were crying, why didn't you tell him to stop?
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A
female
reader, Milana +, writes (17 August 2008):
You answered your own question by asking it. If you have to ask others opinion on what you should do, especially when it doesn't affect anyone other than you, then you should not be thinking about it at all. You are both too young to really enjoy sex and are more likely to make mistakes by sneaking around. Mistakes as in you're both too young to drive so you would have to sneak around increasing the chances of pregnancy. Let your body and hormones fully develop before experimenting so early. Why are you even thinking of sex at 13? You're just now a teenager, don't let sex interfere with your innocence. Enjoy playing sports, not having to work, and getting to try new styles before it's too late.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (17 August 2008):
 Hang on!!!!
14th August, you write in asking for advice on having sex at 13 years old. We all say "No babe its a terrible idea, wait until you are older and ready"
Next day you have sex anyway???
Day after that you think you might be pregnant?????
Why come on here in the first place, you didnt want to take notice of anyone anyway. I dont want to be cruel and say you are completely stupid, but I will say that I think you are seeking attention.
Honey, there are people that come on here because they feel that thier lives are falling apart. They dont know which way to turn, and can see no meaning to thier lives. And I know from experience, (as a lot of the aunts on here I'm sure have felt the same) that it is of the utmost importance, to try to give them the best advice, and a reason to pull themselves back together.
Can you see what you have done. By worrying about you, they could have missed someone really in need.
To you this may be a joke, but I seriously doubt that your post is honest.
And if it is, and I am wrong. You have been a very silly girl, and what I said to you in the first place was right.
No you are not ready for sex.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (16 August 2008):
 Tremor is right. The fact that you did it once does not mean you have to do it again. Bear in mind your boyfriend will now think its 'open season' and will be wanting to do it every day. You're going to have to be really strong if you want to stop him.
As for thinking you are pregnant: you need to go to the drug store and buy a pregnancy test kit right away. You'll know for sure then. If you are pregnant then you'll need to tell your parents.
Since you'll be at the drug store, if you plan on ignoring all the advice here and having sex again (and I'm guessing you are going to?), then please please please buy some condoms. And use them.
Good luck, and stay strong.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): Kitty, now you are being extremely stupid. You ignored our advice and you went and had sex. We told you to use a condom so you didn't get pregnant and get a disease. Now after only one day you think you may be pregnant. Why are you trying to ruin your life, you are more than stupid, you are insane...
Contact these people.. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/ and contact them quickly, you have 72hours since you had sex to get a pill to make you safe. Don't wait, this is an emergency, you want to go as quickly as you can, because if you wait to long it may not work. You are a very, very stupid girl.
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A
female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (16 August 2008):
 didnt you use protection? get a couple pregnancy tests as soon as you can and get them done. call an advice nurse and ask her for her opinion. find out definitely as soon as you can so you can find out what you want to do.
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female
reader, hewokitty101 +, writes (16 August 2008):
hewokitty101 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i dont know what to do now, and i think i might be pregnant
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female
reader, Jia  +, writes (15 August 2008):
 It's sad to hear, but I totally agree with what Tremor says. Even though it's too late now you don't have to feel pressured into doing it again. You should have sex when you want to, don't ever let anyone try to force or cajole you into it.
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female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (15 August 2008):
 Aw hun, I'm so sorry to hear that. I feel bad for you.
PLEASE know that this doesn't mean you have to do it again - just because you have done it with him once doesn't mean you have to do it anymore, and I hope you realize that.
Maybe next time, you should take the advice you have been given?
I hope all goes well for you.
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female
reader, hewokitty101 +, writes (15 August 2008):
hewokitty101 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni did and i totally regret it. it hurt soo bad i cried so he went slower but i still cried.
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female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (15 August 2008):
oh honey =/
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female
reader, hewokitty101 +, writes (15 August 2008):
hewokitty101 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhate to break it but i told him that i am still thinking about it, and he said thats fine and it broke my heart and soo i had sex, and i totally regret it
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008): heyy
i'm 14 and i just lost my virginity to my boyfriend,, and i feel it's not made our feelings for eachother worse as it does for some at a young age but better.we had been dating for 6 months roughly at the time,, we both felt ready for losing our virginity to eachother and so one day we did,, it was amazing as i could trust him and it was the best experience i've ever had.
so my advice for you is that if you both feel ready and you are sure you are ready and have the protection then why not... just rememba once you've lost your virginity you cant get it back,, it's gone forever!
hope this helps
and just remember to be safe and think hard before you act
best wishes and hope you do whats best for you both
xx Georgie xx
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female
reader, MidtownToDowntown  +, writes (14 August 2008):
Firstly, you're under the age of consent.
Secondly, honey, you're far too young! You're not mature enough to deal with the emotional side of sex; it's more emotional than physical at the start.
And I know this is not what you want to hear but at thirteen your idea of love and an adult's idea of love are two very, very different things.
Trust me when I say that you'll regret it.
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female
reader, les +, writes (14 August 2008):
I'm 25 years old and I still wait two-three months before having sex with a guy to make sure that he's worth it and I'm not setting myself up for heart break or an emotional disaster.
I'm 12 years older than you, which means that I've had about 10 more boyfriend that an you have, I finished high school, college, and have been supporting myself for several years. If some like me needs to be in a relationship for two to three months to make that decision, think about how much longer it would take for someone who's 13, who hasn't met a lot of guys, hasn't dated yet and with very little experience should take to feel right about it. Not to mention that your body is still under developed and you won't even be able to enjoy it.
If you want it to be special, then you should wait. If you want it to be cheap, then it doesnt really matter.
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female
reader, RitzaD. +, writes (14 August 2008):
 HONESTLY I THINK NOT! ACTUALLY I KNOW NOT!
Ur so young, this shouldn't be on ur mind at all! Rather worrying about sex, u should worry about finishing school. I know hormones must be jumping out the roof but Sex comes with a package! A BIG package! the items in this package are:
complications, drama, pregnancy, std, infections, love, pain, money, motherhood, fatherhood, protection, and the list goes on.
If ur ready for sex then u are ready for all these things that can come along. Its more likely to experience these problems by starting too young. Im not trying to scare u from sex, im only warning u. Sex is beautiful, but only when TIME is right. Take TIME to learn about sex, and the risks of having sex. At this age ur finding out who u are, so take the TIME to learn about urself also.
I didn't lose mine till I turned 18, It was my first year of university, and I had been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and we were both more than ready.
I can write pages of why u should wait but u understand.
4 months just isn't enough TIME. How about u spend more TIME getting to know each other. If he can't wait for u and looks for it somewhere else, then he's not the one, but don't do it just to keep him with u, chances are he's just a horny little boy looking for sex wherever he can find it. If u do decide to do this, keep ur future in mind, so when ur children are ready for the "sex talk" u can describe them ur "FIRST TIME," and how they should do it if the TIME feels right.
Hope u make the right choice. Take care.
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female
reader, Laura-x +, writes (14 August 2008):
If you're not 100% sure don't do it. Your virginity is something you can't get back once you lose it. No one can influence your decision it's all up to you. But i lost mine young and i went on to regret it. Don't feel pressured into it for any reason such as all your friends are having sex. Think about it carefully and make the right decision xx
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female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (14 August 2008):
 NO! You are far too young and for that matter, so is your boyfriend.
Honeygirl
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female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (14 August 2008):
No NO NO NO,
You are to young and you dont need to do this at your age. You should be sharing clothes and make-up with your mates, not worrying over stuff like this.
If you do it, I bet you and your B/F wont last anyway. Then darling your reputation will be in tatter's and you will be back on here saying "everyone at shcool knows I slept with a boy and they think I'm a slut".
Please wait till your a little older XXXX
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female
reader, Jia +, writes (14 August 2008):
Hon, there are a lot of responsibilities that come with sex, like "do I have protection (i.e. condoms, birth control pills, etc.)?" and what not. I'm not saying you shouldn't have sex, but think long and hard about it, is this is the guy you really want to give up your virginity to?, cause there's no turning back after you do it.
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female
reader, Tremor +, writes (14 August 2008):
No, you shouldn't. If you have to ask, you aren't ready.
Four months is not long at all as far as relationships go. You are probably still in the infatuation stage, and hence, you'll be thinking 'we'll be together forever and we're going to get married'. Am I right?
There's no rush to have sex with your boyfriend. Hell, I made mine wait a year and a half before he got in my pants, and I was 17 at the time. You only lose your virginity once, so it's best to be ABSOLUTELY sure before you do anything you might regret.
You have years and years and YEARS ahead of you to lose your virginity and have sex. You aren't even legal yet, so I really wouldn't even bother about it if I were you. And if your boyfriend has an issue with waiting, then he is probably not the sort of boyfriend you want anyway.
Take care. =)
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A
female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (14 August 2008):
honestly, i think you are too young. far too young. you're as old as my little sister! i feel like i need to go give her the sex talk now!
i lost my virginity my 1st year of college, and i thought it was perfect timing. i was physically ready for it, emotionally ready for it, and i gave it to someone i had been dating for a long time.
i can't control what you do or do not do, but i hope you take my advice and save it for someone you really love and for a time when you are emotionally mature enough to handle all of the feelings you will have before, during, and afterwards! because believe me, there are a lot of weird things going through your head.
also, are you sure he is the guy? sex complicates relationships a lot.
and remember, safe sex! if you aren't brave enough to tell him you want him to use condoms and go to the doctors to get on the pill, you aren't old enough to have sex.
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A
female
reader, shamrocks +, writes (14 August 2008):
don't ruin something that is special,especially if you not sure.
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