A
female
age
30-35,
*inosaurexx
writes:okay this is going to sound REALLY dumb after my last post I just did... but my bf of 9 months dumped me last night..He didn't even have the courage to tell me in person, or even through a phone call! He did it over texting, around midnight when he KNEW I was asleep.Is it just me or is that pathetic?Anyways, that's not my question... it just randomly came out of nowhere... literally.. the day before he was acting perfectly normal..Then last night he tells me that he doesn't see us working out and we aren't meant for each other?The promise ring I mentioned in my last post has my name and I love you engraved in it.. he says that it (now) means that someone will always care for me and that he loves me.Now obviously I know that's not true. Is it the right thing to give it back to him? because I don't want to wear a reminder of how bad he hurt me and lied to me on my finger.... thanks for your help :)
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female
reader, dinosaurexx +, writes (21 October 2008):
dinosaurexx is verified as being by the original poster of the question benefattore-
he said it was for me- as it had my name engraved in it.. and some reason i was dumb enough to take it and believe it, (we've gone out twice before)
but JustChillin-
i absolutely LOVE your answer :
if he was trying to use it for sex, hes going to hve to work alot harder then that :)
thats very good advice and ill try not to be so gullible next time.
A
female
reader, JustChillin +, writes (21 October 2008):
 Dinosaurexx~
Sorry to hear that you just experienced that kind of break up. Not a very nice way to break up, but some guys can be jerks in that respect. Just know that you'll get over this...and you'll move on to your next BF...as he'll move on to his next GF.
As far as the Promise Ring...I've often wondered why these rings are given so freely without any regard to ANY kind of a promise whatsoever. Quite frankly, I believe there are some guys that use these rings as a passageway to SEX with the girl of their choosing. Jewelry can certainly be a deal breaker for some women! ;-) Hopefully , he didn't get his way with you, has grown tiresome of the chase and moving to his next target and that's why he dumped you like he did. Guys will be guys, Men will be men...It's the fact of life!! They are looking for their next challenge...which most certainly will involve sex...
Nonetheless, I would say with the way he broke it off with you, I'd suggest hanging that Promise Ring in plain sight somewhere in your bedroom, with a little note attached, "I Promise myself NOT be so gullable when the next guy comes into my life. =))
Best of luck to you, hun. You'll bounce back and please take as a lesson...it will make you a stronger young lady.
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A
male
reader, benefattore +, writes (21 October 2008):
 Did he say
"here you can BORROW this ring"
or
"this ring is for YOU?"
That should clear things up for you.
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A
male
reader, Passthrough +, writes (21 October 2008):
 I'd say he doesnt deserve it back. Stick it in a locker for a year- If you then want to keep it, do so, if it's painful still, sell it. Given the situation, its 100% yours to keep.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): Keep it as a momento. In years to come you will be able to look at it with different eyes. It is like keeping a photo.
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A
female
reader, dinosaurexx +, writes (21 October 2008):
dinosaurexx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks i think ill keep it then :)
i just wont wear it.
thanks so much for your help :)
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A
female
reader, A Cappella +, writes (21 October 2008):
 Giving it back is an option. I wouldn't bother. Put it into a box in a drawer.
I have a promise ring from 25 years ago. It makes me smile now. The guy was a jerk, but we were young. And it's a pretty ring. My sons like to play with it, lol.
You don't owe him the ring. It was a gift, and it's yours. If it hurts you to see it, you can mail it back. But don't go out of your way to see him to give it back. If he can't face you, you don't need to face him. Cut your losses. Be glad that you see what he's like NOW rather than after dating for years. Hold your head up and move on.
And keep the ring. Good luck hon.
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