A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I want a break from my Girlfriend because she returned a gift I bought for her. I love her and have been with her for 4 years, This is the first terrible thing she ever done to me! Must I forgive her?She returned a cellphone and wanted a blackberry phone.She said I should have asked her what kind of phone she wanted, because I once told her that I will buy her a phone but didn't tell her the model of the cellphone. My mistake was to buy her a cellphone without asking her which model she want.
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (27 January 2011):
 hi
i think you should tell her that you are upset, hopefully she will say sorry and explain her reasons for wanting to swap the phone and then you can hopefully forgive her. if she has been good to you up until now it would be silly to break up over this.
a phone is a practical thing, she knows what specifications she wants her new phone to have. i think this is different than if you bought her say, a piece of jewellery and she gave it back to you just because she thought it was ugly, i would find THAT more hurtful i think
xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): I wouldn't get offended, it's probably just that she had a very specific type of phone in mind. Let her know that her reaction hurt you though, so that maybe next time she will think before she speaks. I genuinely don't think she meant to hurt or offend you.
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A
male
reader, rouge  +, writes (27 January 2011):
 Hey man we all make mistakes but it sounds like she is spoiled. Tell her the you will help pay for it and if she does something else like this then *hit the road*. Cheers ;)
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (27 January 2011):
"Should I forgive my girlfriend for being ungrateful?"
Only if she apologises genuinely.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 January 2011):
 Again, I still stand by my advice in the last post. From what you said she acted pretty nasty and was completely ungrateful for the Nokia you could afford. Even if she wanted the Blackberry, you said you wouldn't be able to afford it so you wouldn't have gotten it either way.
Why can't she get this Blackberry herself?
In order to get past this, tell her to get the phone herself and you will pay for a portion of it, since you can't afford it all. That's fair.
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A
female
reader, its ok +, writes (27 January 2011):
well she's a bit high maintenance-but if you love her and you think you can cope with her then theres no need to break up over a phone
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A
female
reader, beenie11 +, writes (27 January 2011):
 I wont break up over it..yeah she should of been grateful about what phone she got even tho it wasnt the one she wanted..you just need to talk to her about it and how it made u feel like she was being ungrateful ..im sure things will be ok and if u love her u wouldnt let this ruin it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): I am pretty sure this is the same question. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-girlfirend-returned-a-gift-i-bought.html
You may have got your wires crossed, she may have not wanted to upset you, but maybe a Blackberry was what she wanted, for work or something, or that was just the phone she really wanted. People get presents wrong all the time, it's easy done.
It all depends what the rest of your relationship is like, is she ungrateful about other things? Are you looking for an excuse to break up?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 January 2011):
That's what I thought too. It's basically one sentence that was missed out. "which phone do you want?". I only know all about this because I've been there. That's why I do the list thing.:)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 January 2011):
@ Annalisa - It's not always about men not listening to 'what women want' - sometimes women are very bad at either changing their minds, or don't explain themselves, as is the case here. He DID discuss this with her.
He spoke to her about getting a phone, and at no one point did she explain that she didn't want one, or explain she wanted the blackberry. She never told him want she wanted, and she never told him not to get one. The communication breakdown was because of her, not him. He did everything right. He said he wanted to get her a phone - she did not at any one point make it clear what she wanted.
OP, you did fine. This wasn't your fault. Let this one go, and just make sure next time you get her to select say, ten things. Then, tell her you will buy one thing from that list and it will be at least half a surprise. You can't go wrong that way!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 January 2011):
 It's not that big of a deal. It happened once that she returned a gift you got for her. But these things happen! I'd say there is nothing to forgive at all, you bought a phone she didn't like, and it should be perfectly acceptable that she returns it for another phone that she'd rather have. Certain gifts are just difficult to pick! Such as perfume, never buy a woman perfume, because we want to decide ourselves what fragrance we want. And in her case she wanted a particular phone, not just any phone. If you knew about this beforehand you'd not get her a phone at all without checking first what phone.
It's NOT a big deal. Let it slide, and just be blissfully happy that your relationship is so great that this is the worst that has happened.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 January 2011):
You did a good thing, and it backfired. It's okay for something to backfire now and again. No one can always get it right.
If this is the first time that she's done something like this, then suck up the pain and let it go. And next time when buying something for her, get her to make a list of 10 things that she wants, and get her one as a surprise.
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