A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Yes, it's a question involving the dreaded Facebook.My ex-bf and I don't really have mutual friends in real life, but on Facebook we do. I initially blocked him so I wouldn't have to see him keep popping up on other people's Facebook pages. But there's one friend of mine who's sort of in the same friendship circle as him, so sometimes, even though he'd be blocked, his name would come up - like, in the comments section of her [my friend's] status she might say "Yeah Tom (fake name) blah blah", so even though I'd blocked him, he'd still sort of be in my face. [I hope I'm making sense!]Is anyone in this situation? Is it better to block your ex anyway, even if you still see their name popping up? Because I unblocked him when I realised I still indirectly see him on Facebook. I don't know why it bothers me to see him there, and sometimes I worry that I'll "passively" be updated on his life when I don't really want to. Ah I don't really know what to do, and I'm not even sure what I'm asking.Thanks [in advance] for your help, anyway!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionY v - He's not on my friends list anymore, I deleted him ages ago. I think you're right in saying I should "distract myself from FB" - maybe I need to use it less, haha.
Drew21 - You seem more mature than your ex so I guess we all know whose loss it was.
spinnaker - I think the main problem is that I'd rather he was out of my face completely, because I don't want info about his life or what he's up to or anything, and although it seems unlikely I'd gain huge life anecdotes of his from minor Facebook comments, I still don't want to see anything. You make a good point though, I shouldn't be feeling anything when I see his name or his comments pop up.
chigirl - thank you, I might have to do that.
Thanks to all of you who answered - I think that I may just hide certain friends' posts from my newsfeed, so that I don't see anything from him if he were to comment on their statuses or whatever. If I still do see stuff from him and it bothers me, then I'll just block him again.
Thanks again x
A
female
reader, Y_v +, writes (7 June 2011):
 I was in that same situation. If you can't stand him. Please don't just block him, delete him!
I found the same things happened when i blocked my ex and i found stuff from friends about him that i didn't really want to read e.g. finding out he's been flirting with a few of my friends. I know deleting him won't do much and you would still be able to see stuff about him from friends pages but you can't exactly delete your friends!?
Its just a case of laughing it off. You need to delete everything from him on fb. When you see stuff about him again just laugh it off and delete them from your notifications page as soon as, that way he won't linger for long. Find a way to distract yourself from fb maybe? Overall be confident in yourself that you can move on quickly. Remember its his loss and your gain. He's the loser not you :)
hope this helps a bitx
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A
male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 I had to block an ex for a similar reason. At first it was VERY hard to see her popping up everywhere with common friends. Especially when it was anything related to dating, or picking up a hot guy.. After what followed, i know now that all that was intentional in trying to hurt me.
I blocked her. Then i found out she had actually been using Facebook to keep tabs on ME and MY life. When i blocked her, suddenly she started using her friends to track me.
It was darned creepy. People who i rarely spoke to started sending me very odd messages asking me about things that.. it was like "why are you asking me about that?"
Eventually one of the friends fessed up to what was going on.
I wound up having to block a couple of other acquaintances, and then eventually just deleted my Facebook account altogether!
It was creepy!
But yes, i would recommend blocking them. They may try to claim it's childish, but really it's all about what's best for you and what helps you get past the breakup easiest, right?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 It's ok to block him, you don't want to have him up in your face. At least if you have him blocked you wont have to see as much of him. In the meantime you can also hide this common friend's comments, so they wont show up on the main wall.
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A
male
reader, spinnaker  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 I am far from the facebook helpdesk but isn't there a way to block posts from people in that news feed thingy? You could always thin the facebook herd as well.
May I take this to the next level and talk about reconciliation with your self and your feelings with this person? He is not dead so it is unlikely you will never hear from or about him again. That only leaves you with the option of processing your feelings toward this person.
That means allowing yourself to feel hurt, angry, resentful, admitting to yourself that you feel that way and why and making a decision not to have this person maintain control over your emotions through facebook news feeds.
Burying feelings and ignoring them is not tough - its destructive.
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