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anonymous
writes: Been dating 3+ years, thought he was Mr Perfect. Found a raunchy outgoing text on his phone that seemed to imply having slept with whoever he sent the text to. (wasnt Me!) Went nuts but he insists he lent his mobile to his friend who put his sim card in it, and that was left on it. Have rowed and rowed about it, but he insists it wasn't him. It was sent to someone called AB and I have since found out there is a girl on his course with those initials. Plus the text seems to be in his 'style'. Am I just being an idiot to believe it wasn't him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): Wow!! Hang on - why were you going through his outgoing texts any way? Did you not trust him in the first place? And if he lets you near his phone he obviously trusts you! Look inside yourself - do you really think he would let you find out in a way like that? He would be hiding everything. I would ask yourself why you are doubting Mr Perfect - is he really that if you have rowed so much about it? If I were you I would sit back an rethink your relationship, but do not let this cloud over your thoughts
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2005): When you put someone on a pedestal they are bound to come crashing down. You say you thought he was Mr Perfect, stop expecting him to be. It will cause him to rebel.Be brave & explain to him that the text thing is not about whether he did or didn't, as you will never know. And if he wants to cheat he will.Just reveiw your boundries with each other & ask him to at least respect you enough to break up with you if he's not ready to be in a long term relationship, with one person he loves.And ask how he would feel if you were silly enough to let a friend use your phone for the same thing.I agree, check with his friend, & ring AB to confirm his story.If he has nothing to hide he won't mind.Trust isint a right it has to be earnt.
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reader, carla +, writes (3 June 2005):
I don't say keep an open mind about it at all, because you then may start looking for anything and everything to cuase an arguement. You're going to pick on the smallest little detail. Trust what he says because something like that can happen, but if anything else happens again then take some action. But until then don't panic.
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reader, lucy +, writes (2 June 2005):
Hmm, I suggest giving him the benefit of the doubt for the time being but maybe do a bit of detective work, like finding out exactly who this girl is (etc.) I'd keep an open mind about things and if anything else suspicious happens you should definitely confront him and find out what exactly is going on. xxx
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reader, kitty +, writes (2 June 2005):
I can understand your situation my love. It starts many a thought whirring in the mind! If i found a raunchy message on my fiance's phone I would need to check it out. If your boyfriend has no secrets he will tell you who the friend was who borrowed his phone and you can check it out with him. If your boyfriend has AB's number on his phone give it a quick call and clear things up. I have always learnt to go with my gut instinct so what is your intuition saying. If you find you were right do try and sort things out as it would not worth loosing mr perfect over- we all make mistakes.xx
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (2 June 2005):
 No, give him the benefit of the doubt.You say that things were close to perfect with him, so why would you let something this piddling ruin it? He insists it's not his. You don't have any proof it is. By my quick calculation, 1 out of every 52 of the 6.1 billion people on the planet could have the initials "AB". Why not let it go and argue about something meaningful?Then remind yourself: people who snoop often get more than they bargained for.
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reader, Cutie_Mish +, writes (2 June 2005):
Hmmm it does seem a bit dodgy. It is possible that his friend put his sim into your boyfriend's mobile.(I could think of a few reasons)It is a bit of an awkward situation coz one raunchy text simply is just one, therefore it really might be his mate's, but if there was more then one, it could be that your boyfriend is lying, but why would he need to save her number under AB!?I suggest you just listen out for him, be more aware of what he's up to for now, and if you really think he is up to something then talk to him about it!good luck! xXx
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