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age
30-35,
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writes: Kay my friend is going to sound like a skank but please dont trash her cause I will report you!!Well my friend decided to cheat on her boyfriend for some reason with some random guy she met at a party. They had sex without using anything. She then missed her period twice. She finally took pregnancy test that come out positive (she's 5 weeks pregnant). She was in total melt when she was at my house (we were alone) like she almost crying. She wasnt sure if she should give it up for adoption, have an abortion or keep it. As a joke I said "there is fourth option you take a lots drugs and start smoking that should help" I thought it was funny at the time but my friend was all pissed off at me then called me a f***ing bitch after that she stormed off. Was my joke a bit harsh?
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (26 June 2009):
 That wasn't the time or place to be joking.
Imagine how your friend must be feeling. She made a bad decision, but she's in distress and she turned to you for comfort. Maybe you didn't mean to, but you let her down.
You should apologize to her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): Wow, so as you can see, asking "was it harsh" will get you different opinions. I'm pregnant and I would've just laughed along, but others disagree. So ultimately, he advice you should be asking for is what to do about it, as you obviously did upset her, reguardless of if we thought it was harsh or not.
So just apologize and let her know it was unintentional and you want to be there for her.
~SY.
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female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (26 June 2009):
 Uh, yeah.. You were completely inappropriate. If I had a friend I confided in and was looking to for guidance and suggestions who suggested this I would have reacted the same way.. not to mention she's pregnant and her hormones are raging. You're way out of line, buddy.
I came into this question because I saw the first line about us trashing your friend who you thought we were going to call a skank, and in your presumptions you have in turn, called your friend a "skank". I just wanted to let you know. And I don't think any of us would have called her out on that anyway, since that's not what the question is about. Thanks for assuming though! and thanks for the warning that you would report us! Super Scary!
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 June 2009):
 I guess it all comes down to your sense of humor. But yeah, it was a tad harsh. Don't forget that besides having a LOT more hormones flying around - she is scared, feeling guilty, feeling stupid... you name it.. She felt rotten. For a friend to sling that in her face must have hurt.
Sometimes when a person feels low they have no sense of humor. It's a bit like kicking someone when they are down.
She on the other hand overreacted a tad too, but I think if you apologize she will put it behind you two.
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female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (26 June 2009):
Honey there was nothing wrong with your joke hell she was talking about getting a abortion so why is she trippen off of you saying you can smoke and do drugs i think she just is being a little sensitive because she played herself and now she doesnt know who the father of her baby is you tell her to women up and accept responsibility and get a blood test maybe the father of the baby would like to keep the child on his own why do people never consider just because one parent doesnt want the child that the other parent doesnt either i got it that you were just trying to lighten the mood and you can apologize to show her you meant no harm but she is the bitch for playing her boyfriend like she is
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female
reader, mitta  +, writes (26 June 2009):
As a pregnant woman myself Id say yes it was abit harsh.
Apart from what you said being quite disrespectful to the unborn child (a mini person to be) Its not really the time for jokes.
She is obviously really upset and confused about what to do and you were just making light of a very serious situation as if it wasnt really important.
i would apoligise to your friend and acknowledge that your comment was inappropriate.
HTH
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): Well prehaps you were a bit harsh with your comment (not to me, but to her and that's what matters), but she was not appropriate in her reaction either. There were better ways of telling you that your joke was offensive.
I think a mutual apology is in order?
"I'm really sorry I made that joke.. I was just trying to cheer you up a bit. I should have gone about it differently. It did hurt my feelings when you called me that and ran off because I was just trying to help, but I am sorry."
Or maybe it didn't hurt your feelings.. i don't have friends who treat me that way so to me it doens't seem normal, but you may not care at all.
~SY.
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female
reader, well-help +, writes (25 June 2009):
 i guess it was harsh and shes proberly feeling so scared right now but if you never ment to hurt her tell her it was a joke andi didnt know that it would hurt you i never thought about it before i said it im really sorry and that, cause she'll be feelingreally alone right now, cause she'smade a mistake and everyone does it, and she'll be pritty vunrable. let her know yourhere for her xoxo
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female
reader, TheAgonyAunt +, writes (25 June 2009):
 Oh dear this sounds like a bad situation.
I think your joke was abit harsh, especially when she was freaking out about it, think of yourself in your friend's place, would you think it was funny? I think you should apoligise to your friend and say that it was insenstive of you to say it but you didn't realise at the time because you were just trying to lighten the mood and cheer her up.
I hope everything goes ok for you and your friend and try to support her because she must be feeling awful just now.
Hope this helps.
=)
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