A
male
age
30-35,
*ord-of-purple
writes:I met a girl over the weekend that I've been talking to online since then. I think her personality is absolutely AMAZING. I LITERALLY can't remember the last time I've had THIS much fun talking to a girl. Ever. And we've both made it clear to each other that we like each other.But here's the problem....she's not what you'd call the prettiest flower in the bouquet.In fact, everyone else tells me they think that eitherA) She's uglyorB) "Well,she's not PRETTY".I can admit,she's not half as good-looking as the girls I've dated in the past, and she's not all that attractive,but I don't think she's UGLY..and as I've said, she's endless fun to talk to.Should I try moving to the next step with this girl, or just end it before it begins? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Rose_red_09  +, writes (4 October 2009):
Let her go or just remain friends. She deserves to be with somebody that doesn't even need to question or listen to comments about her looks.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2009): why not just stay friends
At that age she isn't finished product, she will bloom later in life, but you are paying close attention to what friends say and yourself don't think that she is pretty. I feel bad for the girl.
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (4 October 2009):
 This is a very good example of why you shouldn't pay attention to what people say. It is also a good example of how people can find the "non traditional" pretty girl.
People can become pretty over time by getting to know the person. IF their personality is brilliant and shines, the person themselves shine brightly and become an attractive force. They may not stun your right away with beauty, but are pretty much the diamonds in the rough you dont realize or see until after a while. You also get it in reverse. Sometimes you see the most drop dead, absolutely gorgeous girl or guy, but when you get to know them, they are an absolute ass. Their personality just ruins it and they become ugly and undesirable.
If this girl makes you happy and you like being around her and over all YOU are attracted to her, then go out with her. If your friends are just judging her by her looks it proves they dont see what you do and they dont know her. I bet if they did they probably would see what you do. She may not indeed be a ULTRA pretty girl, but if she is your girlfriend, you think she is pretty enough and special to you. You are the one who is going to be in the relationship aqnyways. Not your friends.
Aesthetic beauty is only good to initially attract a partner, but if you dont have social skills, good humour and generally a sunny disposition, your relationships are likely not going to last and if you do find yourself in one you are more than likely going to find it to be shallow and without depth.
HonningKaning
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 October 2009):
DrPsych is right. You need to end this for her sake. Don't ever just measure a woman on her looks. Let this one go and rather than just get another girlfriend, spend time talking to some and getting to know them, so you can understand that there is more to women that just looks.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (4 October 2009):
 Time to move on...for her sake, not yours. At 13 she may be no supermodel but by the age of 20 she might turn into a stunner! The fact that you already think her looks are a problem means you won't be going into the dating relationship with the enthusiasm she deserves if she is a nice person.
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