A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have this friend... We've been friends for, like, two years. But I'm starting to get fed up with her! I hardly talk to her during school because we don't have any classes together. We ride the same bus, but she sits in the back and I sit towards the middle, so we don't talk. But the moment I get home, she texts me. Nothing at all, just 'Hi. Hi. Hi. Hello. Hey. Yo. Hi.' At first, it was fine. I would text her back and we'd have a conversation. But that was during summer. Now, with school back in session, it's just annoying. I'll be studying or working and she texts me. I'll text back 'Hey, can't talk now. I'm working,' and she'll text back 'Ugh fine. Whatever. Bye.' It's so annoying. So I started ignoring her texts. Then she started texting me every. five. minutes. Then I started giving her the cold shoulder. i.e- her: Hey, whats up? me: not much. her: cool. So whatcha doin? me: nothing. her: k. hey, have you seen that movie ____ me: no. her: i have. me: ok. But then, out of nowhere, she just says 'omg talk about something. Youre so boring.' But texting isnt the only way she bugs me. Just the other day, I was at school, talking to my friend. Her boyfriend just broke up with her and she was crying. I was obviously trying to console her, but then my annoying friend comes up and literally starts poking me! She just stands there behind me going 'Poke. Poke. Poke.' as she pokes me in the back.And, to top it all off, she has the nerve to call me annoying. I was texting her with one word answers, of course. And her phones messed up, so it occasionally puts random symbols in words. I pointed it out once and she goes 'why do you always complain about that? its really annoying.' and I had only 'complained' about it *once* before! So I need help. I want to get rid of her. Shes driving me mad. Help?!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): I'm so sorry for her. It seems she is so insecure and she's not aware of herself. Kinda reminds me of myself when I was younger. She is sad but that's not your problem. Maybe you should discuss her problem to see if she understands. Tell her you feel used because she is being self centered when she doesn't realize you are doing something else and she comes by demanding all of your attention, but when you sit on the bus she doesn't care about you. That's not friendship.
I think she doesn't get it because you are not being clear and honest with her about what she is doing wrong in the moment she does it. Yes, soemtimes you gotta teach grown-ups as if they were puppies.
She is so insecure because their parents didn't taught her or modeled good social skills at home. Probably she texts you when she gets home because she is trying to avoid the stress of a dysfucntional family and she sees texting as an escape when she's there. Also, I think that if she is so socially inept with you is probably because she sees something in you that she admires (maybe your good self esteem of the fact that you look like an emotionally stable person) and she wants kind of admires you.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 October 2009):
It sounds more like she's really quite lonely and wants to get to know you more. You say you don't do much together other than text. Why don't you try to get to know her more and see what happens. Don't give the friendship up just yet, it would be a shame.
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