A
male
age
,
*LC4US
writes:I'm married and have been having an affair with another married women for the past 5 years. My children are married and on their own, she has a 13 year old at home with her and her husband. She has said she will not get a divorce for the sake of her child, and claims she does not love her husband. I love her with all my heart, even knowing she has had other affairs, and is a continual flirt with men. I know I'm a fool for continuing with her, but just can't convince my heart of that fact. I love her so much I think I could even put up with her continual flirting and dressing to show off her body. She claims if something ever happened to her husband she would marry me in a heart beat. How do I get over loving her so I can stop the ache in my heart because I miss her 24/7. We see each other about once a week. The sex is awesome, and she is the most beautiful woman on this planet, in my mind.
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affair, divorce, flirt Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): Gramps its a pity the MODS chose to block my first response.
So for decades u have been embarressed with your wife? Buy you are not embarressed to run around with the common harlot??? I hope u are taking precautions : imagine taking something nasty into your home.
But enough od the bullsh1t : you don't deserve the wife,
if u are embarressed by her then there is no way forward.
Don't know about the common harlot though: I do not think you are man enough for her. She is used to variety.and she is not the faithful type.
LoveGirl
A
male
reader, Racna1305 +, writes (23 November 2010):
 Lol well then you need to break it off with your wife. Thats not negative thats real. If you arent happy then what are you doing in a marriage? You cant blame anyone but yourself because you choose to stay in the marriage. Why not leave her and go find someone? Why tag her along while you sleep around? Same goes to other woman, why is she even in a marriage and she isnt happy. Both of you need to leave your spouses and go on with your lives. You're married for 30 years, talk to your wife tell her about herself and if she doesnt choose to do what she can to make you happy then LEAVE. Judging by your time married I know you are well old enough to realize that this immature, stop cheating and leave her
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (23 November 2010):
 You are cheating on your wife with a mutual friend of yours? Wow. I think you need to decide who you want to be with for the rest of your life. In my opinion when your wife started gaining weight and not taking care of herself, you should have said something if it bothered you that much.
I understand that some relationships just aren't meant to work, but you need to decide if you want your relationship with your wife to work or the one you have with your mistress. I don't think the woman that you are seeing is going to be a very good decision, she sounds very unsure of what she wants and very promiscuous. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, TLC4US +, writes (23 November 2010):
TLC4US is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, I've been married 30 plus years. The first few years were great until she got the attitude "I've got my man and don't have to try any more". Her personal grooming became embarrassing, then came 100 lbs. of weight that didn't help the situation. I tried to provide her with the life of a queen, she didn't need to work, built her a new home, took her traveling, I gave her a massage 3-4 times a week for a couple decades, lots of hugs and kisses, etc. I'm not a quitter, but after several decades of being miserable and embarrassed, I gave up when the affair started with this woman who is a mutual friend of ours. Her marriage has been much the same as mine. I did expect to get negative comments from some people, and I did get several negative ones. I'm still searching for the best option. I would love to grow old with someone, not just exist.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): "I know I'm a fool for continuing with her"
Well, keep on doing what you are doing then. Hurt everyone around you, hurt your wife, hurt everyone. But you will hurt more than anyone else will.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): You are a fool. Your fling sounds like such a catch...I mean...she has all of the attributes a man looks for in a woman...cheating, lying, flirtatious, backstabbing whore. But then again...you're cut from the same cloth. You both deserve each other and all of the pain and misery your ridiculously selfish conduct will undoubtedly produce for both of you. How do you get over her? 1) Stop doing what you're doing. 2) Cut all contact. 3) Grow the hell up.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (21 November 2010):
 Your poor wife. I feel so bad for her. Have you no shame?
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (21 November 2010):
Your wife should be the most beautiful woman on this planet to you. What about your family? All of your children are married and on their own, so that must mean that you and your wife have been with one another for quite sometime. Do you think she deserves this kind of treatment?If the married woman you are seeing continuously flirts with other people than the one she is with, then that should have been your first clue that she is promiscuous. If you two got married, would you constantly worry if she is cheating on you like she is doing to her current husband right now?People who stay with their significant other for the sake of their children I think are dumb. The children aren't stupid, they know something is going on as I'm sure her husband and your wife know something is going on. To stay in a loveless and unhappy marriage for the sake of the children is ridiculous to me. Who is that helping? No one is happy.Stop all contact with her (it's gonna be hard). No contact whatsoever. Change your number, email addresses, everything. And if you two see each other in a store or something, walk away.The feelings you have for her will eventually fade and who knows, perhaps you will rediscover your love for your wife.Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): The most beautiful woman in the world should be the wife, since for 9 months she carried each of your children.Your age 51-59 and your acting like this? Over some woman who obviously has no morals? I feel sorry for your wife. I'm guessing maybe she's boring to you because instead of flirting with everyone, wearing revealing clothes and acting like a slut she's simply stayed at home and been a good wife and mother.My advice? End it and focus on fixing your marriage. I'd rather have someone to grow old with than someone to simply have sex with.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (21 November 2010):
 What about your wife and children?
Dose of cold reality huh? Not a question you want to have asked.
But the truth is, you are not free to have an affair with this other woman; nor is she free to be involved with you.
"love" doesn't matter here - in the sense that its totally out of place between you and her. At least she has told you she will not divorce her husband to be with you.
If you want to get over her you need to stop seeing her, period. No more sex, no more texts, phone calls, lunches, dinners - NOTHING. In time the feelings will fade, esp. if you turn your attention to your wife and the issues you and she have that caused you to stray in the first place.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (21 November 2010):
What about your wife and children?
Dose of cold reality huh? Not a question you want to have asked.
But the truth is, you are not free to have an affair with this other woman; nor is she free to be involved with you.
"love" doesn't matter here - in the sense that its totally out of place between you and her. At least she has told you she will not divorce her husband to be with you.
If you want to get over her you need to stop seeing her, period. No more sex, no more texts, phone calls, lunches, dinners - NOTHING. In time the feelings will fade, esp. if you turn your attention to your wife and the issues you and she have that caused you to stray in the first place.
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A
male
reader, Racna1305 +, writes (21 November 2010):
lol wow wtf. You're married man, you deserve this heartache because im sure your wife would be crushed to know what you're doing. But if you must have an answer how about focusing on your children and your wife and keep your mind distracted off her, stop seeing her too because it will make you think. Why would you be attracted to someone who flirts and sleeps around on the person she is with? How foolish does that sound? But if thats the new love LOL hey more power to you
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