A
male
age
36-40,
*ussuf
writes:i have been seeing this beautiful female from my college. our first date went well and i ended up with us having sex in her place, two days later the same thing happened again. she texted me a couple days later and said that we were moving too fast. she also said that she was scared of relationships due to her past. she seemed very interested in me but the thing about her is that, everytime i set up a date or somethin of sort, she always cancels it because she wants to hang out with her friends. i think she's cheating on me because she barely respond to my texts anymore and when i call her it goes straight to he voicemail, a couple of days ago she told me that she was coming by my area and instead she text me and told me that she was going to help her friend paint at 9:30pm which seemed really crazy to me. i haven't spoke to her in four days and i might see her in lectures tomorrow. i want to break it off and move on but i am really confused. please help me out, i'm begging guys.
View related questions:
her past, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, yussuf +, writes (24 November 2009):
yussuf is verified as being by the original poster of the question Guys i just want to say thanks for your help and advice. here's an update and i want to apologise for not telling you guys about this info before.
See before all of this started one of close friend told me that he knew her and she gets around, but i ignored him being that he clowns a lot and he also told me that he's being trying to get with her but she didn't give him any chance. ok let's move on to what happened yesterday:
i saw her talking to one of my friends which i wasn't worried about being that it's a college and we might know some friends in common. so i asked my friend in a discreet manner about how he came to know her, and this was what he said "oh! she's my boys girl". being that she had no idea of what my frien had told me, i asked her to walk me to class which she did without hesitation. on our way to class i told her that i lost my phone and she replied by saying "no wonder why you haven't been replying to my texts" she made excuse just like always and told me that i she wanted to comeover but i didn't ask. i found this funny because i did text. so we sat down and she told me that since i don't have a phone yet, i should e-mail her or something, i looked at her and at that moment we started to kiss and after that i told her that she should come over my place later that week, she agreed and said she wasn't doing anything and i replied by telling her that i don't want any excuse. to be honest, i have lost that caring thing for her, i have no hopes of any relationship, my state at this moment is really carefree.
my Questions are, am i over-reacting? should i just act things out and play her for the fool? should i step back? not that i am ugly or anything guys i'm 6ft1 athletic and good looking, plus i got quit a sum of digits in my possession all i have to do is proceed. sucks because i'm confused.
A
male
reader, yussuf +, writes (23 November 2009):
yussuf is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLara C, not sure if we have a relationship yet and i don't want to come-out needy by asking her. my proble is what do i say to her tomrrow being that i lost my phone 3days ago and she might have texted or call me.
...............................
A
male
reader, yussuf +, writes (23 November 2009):
yussuf is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys, problem's that i've told her that i'm here for her and i have done so on several ocassions. just that it sucks to repeat my self again to her. what do i do if i see her in class tomorrow? should i tell her how i feel about the whole situation or just play it safe and wait for things to fall in place. the last time i told her that she was acting-up she texted me and said she was sorry and asked me if i still cared for her like before, but she did the same deed again and i'm pissed-off. plus i lost my cell phone on saturday which means i can't even contact her if i wanted to. i don't want to loose her, we have so much in common and she told me before that she feels like she can tell me anything about her, but her actoins just ain't cutiing it.
...............................
A
female
reader, LaraC +, writes (23 November 2009):
Just to clarify, are you actually in a relationship?
Judging by your post you've only ever been on a few dates, but you're still concerned by the fact that she might be cheating? Unless the two of you have decided that you're in a relationship it's very possible she's seeing someone else (or even multiple people) and it wouldn't be cheating.
Secondly, now I'm sorry to say this sweetie but most women won't actually sleep with someone on the first date if there is potential for a relationship. I can't say for certain that this is the case but the 'rule' is that if you're interested then you'll wait, if you do end up sleeping together on the first date then it's usually one for the one night.
Hope this helps
...............................
A
male
reader, xynebrutalis  +, writes (23 November 2009):
 I wouldn't say right off the bat that this girl is cheating. You said that she told you she has a bad past with relationships and that fear is obviously very real for her. I would be gentle and understanding with her needs. You have to show, and prove to her that your trustworthy. If she continues to ignore your calls and texts, and when you do see her she avoids you, time to call it quits. You don't want to be too pushy, or over obsessive with this, you might get put into stalker label and you want to stay as far from that as possible. Respect her need for distance. And if you do see her with another guy, don't be absolutely crushed, things happen this way sometimes, move on and find another beautiful girl. Hope this helps. - Rick
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 November 2009):
I think things went a bit fast and it's scared her. If she has had a bad past, then maybe she just isn't ready for a relationship at the moment. I don't know for sure f she's cheating, all I can say from what you've said is that it's not likely. I think until she's ready for a relationship, you'd be better pulling away from her. You've run around after her, made dates and she's cancelled and isn't replying anymore.Now it's her turn to do a little running. If she really likes you and wants to get to know you, then she'll now get in contact with you.
...............................
|
